AIBU to think that workmen should offer to take their shoes off in your house?

[Dollslikeyouandme]

I'm a shoes off in the house person, and always offer to take mine off when visiting. It's not because I'm a weird cream carpet visitor slippers freak. But I have carpet, a ds who likes to play on the floor. And a neighbourhood where the streets seem to be covered in dog shit.

I hate asking people to take off their shoes, so usually don't, and just hope they do anyway.

I've noticed workmen never take off their shoes, and lately I've had to have a few people in and around the house and gave been cringing at their boots standing on my bathmat mainly.

I just think shoes on carpets are gross.

They probably find parties too risky for the carpet and don't have them.

So you are going to continue to dodge the questions?

No matter how polished your shoes may be, they harbour bacteria and you can't see them with the naked eye. Walk across any floor and the bacteria are spread there. The bacteria you drag in from outside come from bird and animal poo, urine, vomit, spit, food and drink, and even blood.

Apparently lots of people on this thread would do exactly what they consider normal or in their own homes in someone else's house and would not ask a hostess what her preference was in case it turned out to be something unusual by their standards. Or advertised the fact that they were still wearing last Tuesday's socks.

I think if there is a party at home, I would put a proper wide wet towel at entry over door mat for them to wipe their shoes. in case of not cleaned properly, after the party I would clean floors.
you cant ask people to be bare foot, or bring their own slippers or shoes (maybe, sometimes), they have to keep their nice shoes matching their dresses.
I am thinking all of those for a house having young children.

also you can put antibacterial on the wet towel.

If you have a formal party your guests wear shoes if they want to and then you do a big clean up afterwards. If your guests were people who are close to you or informal then they would most likely remove their shoes as they would know you well and respect your preference, or not be worried about their outfits. Do people throw formal parties a lot? I can't imagine the issue would come up much. Are we talking once a week or once a month or once a year?

I'm not dodging questions. I just don't suffer from germ paranoia.

There are germs on bare feet and socks, on the bottom of bags that may have been put down in a grubby pub or a grubby coffee shop table. You may have touched something germy on the way to visit and left them on surfaces on your arrival. They are everywhere. You may have walked in pee in the hostess' house because some male in the house wasn't careful. Then you will walk pee on her precious carpet and still have it on your bare feet. Yuck.

Shoes are meant to be worn and carpets are meant to be walked on.

I am not dodging it either. I don't have germ paranoia. No wonder people have all these allergies, their immune systems can't cope. Carpets are for walking on. If I had a really special rug I would hang it on the wall.
I will take my shoes off if asked, I won't ask as people think me odd when I do, I will decline the dire 'house slippers' and I will quietly think plastic overshoe people are Hyacinth Bucket jokes.
But yes, I will take them off, but will expect people to do me the same courtesy and keep theirs on in my house, unless muddy or wet.

I would also like people to have clean floors so that when I go my white socks are not grimy!!

Exactly math - people just seem concerned with visible dirt and think a wipe of feet on a doormat will be ok, but there is so much grimness on the pavements, it's not the visible stuff I'm worried about. This week someone was sick on the pavement on my route to work- each day the pile of puke has slowly diminished as it's been continually trodden on and mashed about by unobservant idiots. obviously a lot of people on this thread don't mind that kind of biological matter on their floors!

Sorry to be disgusting, but it is disgusting! Human effluent everywhere! And I would rather keep it out of my house as much as possible.

Tamer - I would keep my shoes on if that was the host's wish and convention.

I mentioned the party issue way back up the thread and said clearly that when I've had parties or large gatherings people have kept their shoes on, especially in summer when we'll be in and out of the house and garden a lot. I'll be doing a big clean
up after the party regardless. For me, no shoes is about reducing mess and housework as much as a germ reduction thing. I want to need to spend as little time as possible doing housework and more time doing nice things ( or doing nothing! ).

My buggy stays in the hallway too btw. Even when DS was small and it was tempting to wheel him round the house in it to get him to sleep. I have
friends who have done this. Buggy wheels must have the same dirt on them as shoes so I find that pretty grim too tbh.

I'm certainly no Hyacinth Bucket though.

Just out of interest, who has an amazing dirtstopper door mat that they'd recommend ( for when I have parties!)?

This thread is going round in circles.

The polite thing to do as a guest is ask the host what they prefer. Do not assume. And I don't think it is rude to ask a guest to remove their shoes - some people are too easily offended. End of.

Incidentally we had several people round at New Year. I didn't to ask them to remove their shoes (because I never do anyway), but everyone did because they all live in shoes off households anyway. It wasn't a formal party, just a relaxed affair with lots of friends.

In my circle everyone removes their shoes, so to me it is not usual to keep them on. Obviously for a lot of people on here it is weird to take them off.

Well said Bunbaker!

I would never expect a workman to take their shoes off as they are working

I'm not germ paranoid and my house is just average and lived in. I try to keep it reasonably clean and tidy. We don't have any allergies and are perfectly healthy, apart from when ds was a baby at nursery we never 'touch wood' get sickness tummy bug type illnesses so I'd say we've got pretty good immune systems.

I've known people who won't allow fish and chips in their house because of the smell, someone who wouldn't let his wife put her feet up on the sofa incase it got foot imprints. I'm not like any of that, people have their different ways.

There are four things which I'm fussy about in my house and most have nothing to do with visitors, be very careful with raw poultry, keep the toilet clean, using coasters for hot drinks and preferably no shoes on carpets, that means if you're coming for coffee and we sit at the kitchen table it's not a problem, walk straight through.

You can't prevent germs always, handling money is dirty but can't be helped, that's why you try to wash your hands before eating.

Shoes are just one of my things, can't help thinking what you might have unknowingly walked in. People have talked about piss covered bathroom floors, but why would your shoes prevent you spreading this round the house? Also if you've been in public toilets in your shoes then they'll likely have crap on the bottom, you wouldn't go into a public toilet in bare feet, would you?

As for parties, I've only had small gathering and as my people seem to be like minded it's never cropped up. If I was one for having formal gatherings I'd probably look at investing in some wooden floor. As it stands my house is absolutely tiny and the living room is more if a cost place to curl up, can't see people in with their stilettos and evening gowns standing round with glasses of wine anytime soon.

Mrsdevere, perhaps the 'norm' does depend a bit on where you live then? If you live in a nice clean village totally different to living in clubbers paradise with the vomit and fag butt pavements!

I am beginning to think it is a town v country thing. I live in the country and it is the norm to keep them on- walking boots/wellies/old trainers are what you wear if walking cross country and you take them off because they get caked in mud. If you have come by car or walked on pavements in normal shoes you keep them on.

I was thinking it was a generation thing rather than class? It's only in the past 10 years that I've come across "no shoes indoors" in the UK. No-one in my family ever had staff to do the cleaning for them, it didn't mean that people were expected to walk around barefoot indoors or in their socks. If you had dirty shoes, you changed into slippers, but going barefoot would have been unthinkable. And no-one had light-coloured carpets. I now live in a country where it is expected that people will take their shoes off, not at the entrance to the house, but before walking on the carpet, and it makes me feel quite uncomfortable. I really don't like going barefoot in other people's houses.

Well we are going to a 50th this evening in someone's house , it will be one of those standing around chatting and drinking parties.The thought of all these random 50 year olds in socks made me laugh out loud.also why bother picking out my dress tights and shoes if I am going to ruin the look with standing flat footed in tights .My dh ( Middle aged lawyer!) would be horrified or at best bemused at having to take his shoes off in such circumstances.

Last week out for dinner , 4 couples all in shoes including the hosts, having said that both houses have dogs, various other pets and several children and all are in the country where largely we don't have pavements covered in dog mess or vomit ,or in fact pavements at all.

As for having a disinfectant soaked towel by the door for people to wipe shoes on well words fail me , I actually think people around here would think you had serious problems if confronted by such a thing .But then we are in the sticks where most people have dogs and walking boots ,and mud is a fact of life.

outtolunch - the disinfectant soaked towel is step too far for me, even as a shoes off house.

I thought we'd established that at parties such as you describe, shoes indoors would be the norm, even if they're not otherwise...

Not sure age or occupation of house guests is relevant though but FWIW, I'm a middle aged professional too btw

I am a shoes off but wouldn't put a disinfectant soaked towel at the door.

And also said that in the unlikely event that I started having the types of parties you describe I'd probably invest in some wooden floors then there's no problem with shoes, spillages or anything else.

You can't comfortably fit more than about 5 people in my sitting room though.

YABU
To ask a tradesman to remove an important piece of safety equipment (which work boots are) because you CBA to clean your floors, as well as the possibility of injuring his feet it would probably invalidate his accident insurance meaninghe would have no income whilst being off work .
!