AIBU to think that workmen should offer to take their shoes off in your house?

[Dollslikeyouandme]

I'm a shoes off in the house person, and always offer to take mine off when visiting. It's not because I'm a weird cream carpet visitor slippers freak. But I have carpet, a ds who likes to play on the floor. And a neighbourhood where the streets seem to be covered in dog shit.

I hate asking people to take off their shoes, so usually don't, and just hope they do anyway.

I've noticed workmen never take off their shoes, and lately I've had to have a few people in and around the house and gave been cringing at their boots standing on my bathmat mainly.

I just think shoes on carpets are gross.

For those of us from other countries and not aware of the class implications of all this....

Precisely what class is supposed to be shoes-off and what is shoes-on?

One thing I'm wondering, some people have said that they wouldn't visit someone who has a shoes off rule.

So would people really distance themselves from a friend or family member who had many great qualities just because you perceive them to be a bit twatty about their floor coverings?

"Precisely what class is supposed to be shoes-off and what is shoes-on?"

I don't agree that it is a class thing. I think it is down to either culture or personal preference. Only on mn do they bring class into it.

If I was just nipping to somebody's house for a coffee and they asked me to remove my shoes then I would.

If it was a more formal occasion, dinner party and people there I didn't know and I was asked I would say that I would prefer to keep them on.

I'd still visit them and take my shoes off but be inwardly annoyed if it was an occasion like a party where I've planned my whole outfit shoes included.

Dolls - would you rather put your floor coverings over the comfort of your guests who are also, I assume, your friends? I have been freezing and very uncomfortable in 'shoes-off' houses, which does put me off seeing that friend in their house. Fortunately, they are in the minority, certainly amongst people I know, so I just try to see them elsewhere!

No I wouldn't want anyone to be uncomfortable, I've never felt or come across anyone who's been cold inside the house purely because they've got no shoes on. I'm not saying they don't btw just that it's not something that's ever occurred to me.

At the same time I've been generally too hot/cold both at work and at people's houses because they have heating on/off/windows open/closed.

My mums is always freezing as theirs hearing is rubbish and she has all the windows wide open all year round.

My sisters is always way too hot for me and there's not enough seats for everyone.

I have a friend from work who's house is a bit smelly.

I kind of just accept that I will be at my optimum comfort level at home and have to tolerate other people's differences in their homes, but it's worth it because I love them.

my mother used to be very fussy about her carpets, she covered most of them up with those revolting plastic carpet protectors and made us take our shoes off too I could never work out why she had carpets in the first place if they weren't to walk on.

well, I want my guests to be comfortable so, for example, even if I'm trying not to have the heating on at home on a cold day and stick another jumper on, if I have guests I'll put the heating on. IMO guests comfort trumps mine, otherwise that doesn't make me much of a host.

Most people's shoes are filthy on the bottom, hopefully their socks, tights or feet are cleaner although I accept there is no guarantee especially if in the habit of walking around filthy streets without their shoes. I would rather not have mud, dog mess, chewing gum, cigarette butt and dust brought into the house. I wish people would take their shoes off as a norm like they do in civilised countries?

Most people don't need shoes for protection, if they do they should have an indoor pair. Other people's dirt-never nice!

'I would rather not have mud, dog mess, chewing gum, cigarette butt and dust brought into the house.'

Doormats dear, doormats.

These threads are pretty pointless- we all have our views and I doubt whether a single person changes their mind.

Hmmm - this stuff about being cold and uncomfortable without shoes....I
think Dolls is right. Other people's houses are frequently either too hot, too cold or a bit stale smelling but it wouldn't put me off going there. My mum has a health condition which means she feels the cold much more than the average person so their house can be stifling hot to me. I just dress accordingly when I go to visit. I wouldn't expect my mum to turn the heating down for my comfort as her 'guest'. She keeps slippers at my house.

And what about if I find leather sofas uncomfortable? I shouldn't visit my friend who has one? One friend I have is very short, and so is her husband. I find their sofa very uncomfortable as they've obviously chosen one whose dimensions suit them (v low to ground and quite shallow). I'm average height and my knees are almost up at my chest when I sit on it. But it's their house and they sit on the sofa the most so to my reckoning their preference is the most important.

Plastic carpet covers are hideous btw!

Yes and no Tamer. Isn't disagreement and debate the whole point of AIBU?

Well I agree Tam that you should try to make visitors comfortable, but if you don't know? I wouldn't automatically assume that someone's feet would be cold with their shoes off anymore than I would if they took their coat off. If the house is warm.

I also agree that no one will change their minds, and why should they?

It's the suggestion that you must be thick/prissy/rude/unwelcoming/without 'class', and think your carpets must be considerably better than anyone elses can't really understand that. Just because of a personal preference on wearing shoes.

Just out of curiosity, where do people stand on smoking when guests visit or get in your car/smoking when visiting other people?

yes, probably I am quite sensitive to this because I do really feel the cold - for example wearing a thick jumper at my mum's the other day, and she had the heating on, but the jumper had a low neck and I really felt whatever draught there was so put my scarf on. DM couldn't actually make her house any warmer - I was just cold. And our house is bloody freezing - can't imagine why anyone who can afford not to would want to live in a draughty Victorian house with, yes, lovely original draughty as fuck sash windows and, yes, lovely original draughty as fuck floor boards. We do at least have shutters and curtains. But I think anyone taking their shoes off in our house is a loon.

smoking - back in the day pre-DD happy for visitors to smoke inside if we were having a party or whatever (though I probably would have joined them!). Now, they can go in the garden. But it's a completely different issue, IMO.

I don't smoke but allow people to smoke when they're in my home if I'm having a party for example.

Not if children are around though.

I don't smoke and wouldn't allow it in my home or car.

Yes of course it's different was just wondering, just thinking in general about tolerance in each other homes and where you draw the line.

Have you taken the plastic cover off your three piece suit yet, OP?

Do those who wear shoes indoors also put their feet up on the sofa while wearing them? Would it be ok if shoe-wearing guests did it?

Newsflash needtobediscreet, floors are actually intended for feet.