Helloboys He was my friend before we entered into a relationship - I deemed him to be a good friend too but always felt like there was something more between us. Months down the line we stupidly entered into a relationship. He was still cut up over his ex missus leaving him (for someone else I might add - the guy she is now engaged to). She left him waaaaay before I met him. He tried to convince himself that me and him were good and that he could make it work with me. Turns out he couldn't so he turned to other women behind my back. He slept with someone else when he went to Ireland for his birthday trip but didn't tell me about this. I guess I was in the 'relationship' and he wasn't at this point. Upon his return from Ireland all he said was he couldn't be with me.
I cut off contact with him and few months lapsed. He got back in touch with me again and me deciding to be the bigger person and that I did in fact want him in my life as I missed our friendship I decided to give friendship a shot. He told me he still had feelings for me. I laughed it off.
We continued to be friends for sometime and I eventually started dating someone else. Suffice to say he stopped talking to me when I told him I was seeing someone else. I told him to grow up (he's 41 ffs!). He apologised for being immature and said he was being silly, wounded pride and all that.
Me and the guy I was dating fizzled out, I didn't feel the same way about him so we parted ways. That's when my partner decided to step in and 'sweep me off my feet' again. I asked him why he felt he couldn't be with me early on and what made him bin me off. He said he was still cut up over his ex and wasn't sure of himself or what he wanted. I asked him if he slept with anyone whilst we were together. This is when he told me yes 1) the skank in Ireland and 2) another skank closer to home. Hurt was not the word. And he had a nerve to stop speaking to me cos he got jealous of me dating someone else (I never slept with this bloke, my heart wasn't in it).
I asked him what's changed. He said me dating someone else and realising he could lose me made him realise how much he had taken me for granted and how much he only wanted to be with me blah blah. He was know longer getting those 'feelings' for his ex and he slept around because of his messed up emotions. But he has promised me he won't do anything like that again as it took another guy to make him figure out just how much he 'cared' for me.
I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and for all intents purposes claimed sure I'll be in a relationship with you but you have really destroyed my trust and I want you to make it up to me. About 2 weeks later, I get the call that he would be having Chinese with his ex. He was straight up and honest about it but I was crushed. Turns out I too was invited but I'm wondering if he said that just cos I kicked up a stink about it. But he went ahead with it anyway knowing how I felt but like I said there was a group of them. I still think it's pushing boundaries tho.
Then a few weeks after that it was the stag do in Spain. I asked him not to go (God that sounds controlling). But he said 'I booked it before we got back together, I can't back out now, you just have to trust me'. I said I couldn't. He said 'If I don't go on it, I would like you to book us somewhere to go for that week instead' (the cheeky b***d!!!). Regardless, when the time came he ended up going anyway. Probably to save face and not look like a whipped pussy.
I hated it the whole time he was there. I asked him to tell me everything when he got back. I grilled him over it.
As the months have passed (but my demented emotions haven't 
) he has now said he is in love with me and anything that would hurt me would hurt him. But I CANNOT get over his past so it regularly comes up in our conversations. One of us will eventually break, as I am pushing him away and even if I wasn't I feel resentful and miffed at having my feelings pushed aside. He says in retrospect it was very selfish on his part to put me thru all this and he does seem sincere about it now. At the time I doubt he could have cared less. This was months ago so I should let it go. But I can't and now I'm in a pickle.
His ex has since contacted him to say she is engaged. This brought back a load of shitty feeling for him. Hence he has since told her he cannot be friends with her any more. But he should be over her completely in my mind.
Sorry for the essay, I just had to get it all out in the open. Good job he doesn't use MN or I would be completely 'outed'