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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ban my mil till she learns to be appropriate

23 replies

mummyof2boys257 · 15/02/2014 23:21

So mil is an interesting person

Reguarly feeds my boy a ridiculas amount of crap (yes I know nannys wanna spoil their grandkids) but I think an entire pack of giant size buttons, followed by a litre of coke, then takeaway pizza and a bowl full of jellytots and 2 iced buns then returning at 9:30 at night on a school night where he then vomits all over me is taking the piss. Still I let it go shes hes nan I cant stop her seeing him just coz of this
Then the language ive never heard anything like it, she curbs it when hes around but not enough

However final straw came tonight when she was over at my house tonight and they were playing on the I pad
I nipped out to take bins out come back and realised she had put blurred lines on YouTube, not only the song, but the fucking explicit version ffs...and then laughing hysterically when I immediately pick my son up and move him away.

Aibu to have thrown the stupid cow out and told her not to return till she can behave herself, she thinks I'm a 'stuck up fucking bitch' and apparently over the top as he wouldnt even realise what was going on, hes 6 u idiot

OP posts:

JennyOnAPlate · 15/02/2014 23:24

No Yanbu. I wouldnt be allowing any unsupervised contact in your sitiation.

phantomnamechanger · 15/02/2014 23:25

what does your DH think about her behaviour and attitude? she needs telling TBH, but don't let this be a DIL/MIL issue - she will cast you as the villain if she possibly can so you and DP need to be 100% united on what is/is not acceptable and appropriate round your son. YANBU.

Madmammy83 · 15/02/2014 23:26

Nope I wouldn't have her round me, sorry, she sounds vile.

Joules68 · 15/02/2014 23:27

Bins out on a saturday night?

AgentZigzag · 15/02/2014 23:30

Wow, how did the situation come about where she called you a 'stuck up fucking bitch'?

I can't believe you still see her after just that one.

If it's because you want your DS to have a relationship with his GM that has to be balanced out with what the possible consequences of her seeing him will be.

In your situation she's undermining you in front of him and he will notice that (if he hasn't already). She's doing things deliberately to prove that she can, but how far is she prepared to go with that? Do you want to take the risk when it's your DS at stake?

Where's your DP in this?

You've got every right to choose who your DS has access to, although it does cause ripples obviously, but she does sound pretty extreme.

Original poster

mummyof2boys257 · 15/02/2014 23:31

Havnt told dp about the video yet as hes on nights tonight so was up in bed when it happened

Shes always been a very annoying person who does not listen to u, its mainly been about the amount of treats she gives, but I tried to let it go even though shes always been completly over the top with it

But this video business is on a whole new level I mean what the fuck? How can a sane person think that was ok?

Phantom I put a stop to unsupervised contact 3 weeks ago after hes vomiting, but I'm putting a ban on all contact, can u imagine if he repeats this in school! Not only that he should not be looking at this it's so inappropriate!!

OP posts:

Joules68 · 15/02/2014 23:33

Repeats it in school? Well look, he could see/hear it anywhere.... He's 6!

Joules68 · 15/02/2014 23:34

But anyway, it's clear you hate your mil and are looking for reasons and excuses to cut her out of your life.

Your DH doesn't have to though

EverythingCounts · 15/02/2014 23:35

I wouldn't want my DS to be in that position. You need to get your DP to speak to her so she can see it's not you being 'stuck up' , it's both of you as parents wanting your DS to get treated appropriately for 6 yo.

Nojustalurker · 15/02/2014 23:35

How old is cd?

Original poster

mummyof2boys257 · 15/02/2014 23:38

Joules- 8 month old, cant find nappy bags, need I say more?

And I mean him actually says nanny shows him
I wasn't talking about asking dp to cut her out, just not allowing her near my son till she learns to behave appropriately

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 15/02/2014 23:38

The OP doesn't need to look for reasons not to like her MIL joules, she called her a stuck up fucking cow.

That's not super friendly is it?

The people who I have in my life are there because I like them and they don't undermine the decisions I've made for my DDs, anyone who thinks they have more right than me over my children can fuck right off.

AgentZigzag · 15/02/2014 23:40

You seem a bit against the OP joules, people go out to their bins every day of the week round our way, where do you live that they don't?

Joules68 · 15/02/2014 23:40

Well I'd say the other parent has an equal say too....

Op thought you meant bins out ready for the bin men!

AgentZigzag · 15/02/2014 23:43

The other parent wouldn't get an equal say if anyone was playing inappropriate shit on youtube when my 6 YO was in the room joules.

How could anyone argue that that's OK?

Original poster

mummyof2boys257 · 15/02/2014 23:46

I'd say making sure my kids dont see anything they are far too young to see trumps equal say tbh

And ive stuck the bin in my garden if u really must know

OP posts:

Balistapus · 15/02/2014 23:59

YANBU. It is your responsibility to protect your child from people who Think it's ok to expose a child to adult material, regardless of your/ your child's relationship to that person.

perfectstorm · 16/02/2014 03:48

Joules86 would you allow your 6 year old to watch ? I should warn you you need to click various "I am an adult and realise this is not appropriate for young people" buttons first. Because Youtube, it seems, know more than the grandmother.

She's a stupid, unpleasant woman and would have contact with my child over my dead body in your shoes, OP. The way women are increasingly objectified in our culture is scary enough without a grandmother tittering at her own wit while exposing someone else's very young child to it. FGS.

perfectstorm · 16/02/2014 03:50

And DH wouldn't want an "equal say" over this. He'd be even more pissed off than I was. It would require no discussion. Because as a responsible adult he knows exposing children to adult material is abusive.

Chottie · 16/02/2014 05:23

I would not allow her near my DC either. Your MIL obviously has no boundaries.

DarlingGrace · 16/02/2014 06:58

I don't believe anyones stomach could contain that amount of food and carbonated drink, let alone a 6yo. Some exaggeration going on here.

Feminine · 16/02/2014 07:16

I don't believe any of this. I think op is attempting a joke!

Davidhasselhoffstoecheese · 16/02/2014 10:18

Supervised contact only and no contact for a long time if inappropriate behaviour is shown. Allow one small sweet treat only

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