To not want Fiances Step father in law singing at our wedding?

[JennyCol]

I am probably being totally U but Id like to get an unbiased opinion nonetheless. I am getting married in a year and we booked the wedding (typical hotel do) a few months ago. Everything has gone swimmingly thus far no stress, just a pleasureable experience. My parents are very generously - footing the bill so I suppose this takes away from any stress that might have otherwise happened.

My dp and I are planning the wedding equally, both agree on the type of wedding we want and there have been no bridezilla moments I have to speak up for myself when I say that I really am quite relaxed about the whole thing and wont be having any massively diva moments.

However and this is a bit of a (perhaps) irrational source of anxiety for me at the moment but my dp has dropped into conversation a few times about his stepfather and stepfathers brothers singing at our wedding. He raised this (in a kind of we should get x to sing at the wedding when we get married way) before we got engaged in passing conversation and I reacted like a bit of a bitch and said I didnt want this. Anyway, later on, to brush off the topic I said it would be fine, but only a few songs.

Anyway, fast-forward to our engagement and subsequent booking of the wedding and he mentioned it during lunch with my parents. Mum spoke to me on the phone about it asking if he was joking because its a bit sad dad singing at your wedding (I absolutely agree, they only like sixties stuff). To be fair, we went to a wedding of a close friend and the grroms bro and sis sang and everyone (bitchy I know, but us brits take the mick) did crack a few jokes about how utterly cringy it was (IT REALLY WAS VOIT-INDUCING).

One final thing my parents are not putting their views forward if anything they are keeping their beaks firmly out despite bankrolling the lot but I have noticed that whenever they suggest something, my dp dismisses it, But he seems to be assigning little jobs to his Mum and Stepfather (who he loves and has a nice relationship with but isnt really close to, whereas I am with my parents) like designing our wedding invitations?!

I KNOW I AM PROBABLY BEING TOTALLY U but would love to be told one way or another!

So sorry for unnecessarily long post (perhaps I am a bridezilla after all).

He wanted to play at my wedding too. I said no (nicely).

brilliant

(unless they have all the documents)

tis a gift from the gods I tell thee!

Why it it a problem that your dp is giving his mum and dd's little jobs to do?

You and your parents should be doing the invitations. They are the ones hosting the event. I would quickly let this be known.

Agree with Musical - you're parents are kindly paying therefore the invites should be from them, despite DH offering for his parents to design them on a whim (over the car speakerphone).

Cranky - I get the impression from OP's post that DP is offering his parents lots of little jobs but dismissing OP's parents involvement. Who are paying. Tis a touch rude, especially when they are paying.

It sounds like it is going to be your perfect day. Why not allow it to be special for as many people as possible for the sake of 10 minutes and a couple of songs? Who cares if it is cringeworthy. Far more cringeworthy to have people at your wedding who are down and bummed out because they couldnt sing at their sons wedding when they really wanted to.

It sounds like it is going to be your perfect day. Why not allow it to be special for as many people as possible for the sake of 10 minutes and a couple of songs? Who cares if it is cringeworthy. Far more cringeworthy to have people at your wedding who are down and bummed out because they couldnt sing at their sons wedding when they really wanted to.

I sometimes think you have to be diplomatic about these things just to avoid making enemies of your ILs for ever more. Maybe just a couple of songs rather than the full set? As a warm up for the DJ? Or in a break in the middle? Or at the end when everyone's left?

Not a bridezilla you say...

I think you both sound a lovely thoughtful couple. It's great that both families are involved but you don't have to please everybody.
I would've hated FIL crooning at my wedding, although my mates would've loved the laugh.
Talk to your DF, he sounds reasonable .

I think if it's what your DP actually wants then you support that (if the venue allows). If not then you don't.

Marriage is about compromise. I compromised by getting married in church when I'm an atheist because it meant a lot to my DP and most of my closest family. Yes, I'd rather not have done it there but it was a good day and I don't regret it because of what meant to them.