To be pissed off that I am not drowning in chocolates and flowers and an announcement declaring me Supreme Most Gorgeous Princess of the World hasn't been taken out in at least THREE national papers?

[HoneyDragon]

Seriously. What the fuck has the world come to?

Do people not know it is Valentines day?

Where is my worship. Why are the hordes not adorning me in tacky shite?

I'm being worshipped and am surrounded by flowers and chocs.

YANBU

Our postman is late.

I reckon it's because he's struggling to carry the mountains of cards that are coming my way

YABU. It would take far too long to melt enough chocolate to drown in, and even then it would be an incredible waste if it was thereafter inedible due to all the roses immersed in it.

Chocolates are fattening, and I would feel sorry for the Interflora delivery person battling through the floods, gales and rain to deliver the overpriced flowers anyway.

YABU

On Valentines Day 2005, my grandma died, I had a stinking cold and was unhappily single but had just started online dating. I spent most of the evening sobbing at the "50 Greatest Romantic Movies" or some such shite.

Nine years later, I'm happily married (to an online date!) with two children. And guess what?

STILL NO BLOODY VALENTINES DAY CARD!!!!

But but but Facebook and the telly say I should be.

I DEMAND half dead flowers and overpriced chocolate.

Dd made me breakfast in bed with heart shaped crumpets and lukewarm tea. Who needs adoring men?

Which papers have you looked in honey?

It's in mine, double page spread and boy are you looking good

For you Honey. x

and and for you.

I was given 33 pence worth of daffodils from Tesco last week They're dead now. It's the lack of thought that counts

Worship yourself. It's much more fun and you'll never be disappointed :-)

Ooh and here's some fizz' for you. x

Dh left for work, without mentioning anything. So his card is still unwritten in the bag. Unless he brings something home, it'll stay there until next year.

So yes... v-day drought here too.

Fucker.

I have a new man in my life this year.

I'm very lucky.

So far this morning he has wee'd on me. Shit on his new clothes. And been sick down my leg. Oh and made my nipples sore.

Lovely. But he is a 9 week old baby so I'll let him off. His df is on shitlist though. Buy yourself some flowers and a vase is not an acceptable amount of worship.

Fucker.

dh and I have just worshipped each other by exhanging (pretty identical) bottles of red wine and boxes of Thornton's chocolates

each smug in the assurance that our idea was evidently thought of as a good present by the recipient

Delicately places a kiss on the toes of supreme goddess Honeydragon.

(root2; aka that dashingly good looking, witty and intelligent bloke over there. Who occasionally does a quick name change)

Oh did they not tell you! They've swapped their adoring love to me.

It's the worst day of the year for me.

Woken up by a knock on the door because the normal postman can't deliver 50 sackfulls so they have to send a truck.

And will they take them away? Nope, apparently it is a legal obligation to deliver them.

I'm glad you are all taking this outrage with the gravitas it deserves.

I went to the shops, they are still full to brim with flowers that cost a ridiculous amount. So clearly those that adore me just haven't purchased them all yet.

Oh sorry, I have to leave this thread.

I just got a Valentine's card.

It says To Mummy and Daddy from DS2

Oi! There's a dashingly good looking bloke, (etc,) kissing your toes here!

Some acknowledgment pleeese!

Sorry Root, you dashing fella you.

Thank you kindly.

You are doing it in a genuflecty sort of way aren't you? Rather than a weirdy fetishy way?

YANBU