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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dread flying because of my size?

457 replies

annauk1 · 12/02/2014 19:57

I am going on holiday in a few days. I should be really happy but the flight is really making me not want to go.

I flew last year and needed a belt extension which was fine, wasn't much of a problem, but the thing that petrifies me most is that DP and I won't be able to sit together and if I end up sitting next to a nasty person who is ' a fat-phobe' and huffs and puffs at me the whole 3 hours for taking up more than my (tiny) seat space. I am flying with Monarch who are notorius for their tiny seats. I am a size 26 btw.

OP posts:
CalamitouslyWrong · 13/02/2014 10:17

TamerB: I can't afford to fly business class to Australia either. So I wouldn't book a holiday to Australia (I wouldn't book anything with a flight that long really, as it would be horrific for me). Or I'd save for long enough to afford the flight if I really wanted to go.

If you need two seats or a business class seat to accommodate your more ample than average arse then you need to factor that in to your affordability calculations. If that mans you need to scale back your holiday ambitions, so be it.

jennifleurs · 13/02/2014 10:19

It is expensive but I'd rather not fly than be uncomfortable. I'm a size 20 and tbh I don't find seating anywhere uncomfortable because of my weight, but I'm also tall and I can't stand my legs being squashed in for long journeys - hate it!

Another reason I prefer UK hols too.

angelos02 · 13/02/2014 10:19

OP it isn't acceptable to encroach into the space that someone else has paid for. Doesn't make them a 'fat-phobe'. Simple

Morgause · 13/02/2014 10:20

I absolutely have to have the arm rest down between the seats. I have problems flying at the best of times - panic attacks and claustrophobia. I cannot have strangers pressed up against me without going into meltdown.

An overweight passenger beside me once tried to lift the armrest but I told her to leave it where it was because I needed it there. She wasn't very happy but then she wouldn't have been happy if I'd had a massive panic attack and fainted.

Pay for the space you need, I'd say, not steal someone else's.

AndHarry · 13/02/2014 10:22

I end up sitting next to a nasty person who is ' a fat-phobe' and huffs and puffs at me the whole 3 hours for taking up more than my (tiny) seat space.

This bit is the bit that lost you my sympathy.As lots of other people have said, being uncomfortable with someone encroaching on your already tiny seat space does not make someone 'a fat phobe'. Yes it must be a worry for you but there are things you can do right now. Monarch operates an upgrade system on many/all? of its planes and you can book an upgrade in advance. The last time I flew with them it cost 30 per passenger per flight. The seats in the upgrade area are bigger and the sets by the windows are in twos so just you and your DH can sit together. If this is something you've overlooked then great, solution right there.

mrsjay · 13/02/2014 10:22

I am still not getting why the op wouldnt book a seat next to her husband I dont get it , it is a plane she is going on not the number 27 bus Confused

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/02/2014 10:24

Damn you AIBU with your compelling yet irksome nature.

I so had a mental image of your shaking your fist at the screen then

Me too, VivPru and Worra! You were also leaping up and down in an excitable - but very ladylike - manner! Grin

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2014 10:24

I am still not getting why the op wouldnt book a seat next to her husband I dont get it

Maybe she's looking forward to the peace and quiet? Grin Grin

TamerB · 13/02/2014 10:24

TamerB: I can't afford to fly business class to Australia either. So I wouldn't book a holiday to Australia (I wouldn't book anything with a flight that long really, as it would be horrific for me). Or I'd save for long enough to afford the flight if I really wanted to go

It shows we are all different. I would book the holiday to Australia and go economy. In fact I shall do that when we go to New Zealand. DH and I will just both book an aisle seat to get up easily and have more leg room. It is what we did last time.

No one has ever asked me to have an arm rest up. I expect to have it down.

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2014 10:25

'Ladylike'?? What is this word you speak of? Grin

TamerB · 13/02/2014 10:26

I am still not getting why the op wouldnt book a seat next to her husband I dont get it

An impossibility if they are are similar size.

mrsjay · 13/02/2014 10:28

Maybe she's looking forward to the peace and quiet?

oh yes i suppose maybe a fat phobe is far better than her husband Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/02/2014 10:36

It's a Boden word, Worra... I've been contaminated! ShockBlush

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/02/2014 10:37

Was leaving but stopped to snort tea out of my nose at mrsjay's post... GrinGrin

Floggingmolly · 13/02/2014 10:37

I don't get what response the op was actually hoping for Confused
"No, you're fine, love, ignore the fucking fat-phobes, why should the entitled bastards sit in the entire seat they've paid for?" ??
How could anybody actually make her feel better about her fears that she won't actually fit in her plane seat, particularly as her main concern seems to be the "bad attitude" she expects from other passengers? Hmm

AngelaDaviesHair · 13/02/2014 10:40

"And yy to the poster who said they'd rather sit for a couple if hours in discomfort than make the op feel humiliated by audibly huffing and puffing."

Well, I wouldn't huff and puff, I agree. It's a case of either put up with it or get cabin crew to move you, but no unpleasantness should be directed at the OP. However, putting up with it for 2 hours is one thing. What about 8 hours? Or 18 hours? And you aren't going to know whether you can move, what if you can't?

And the reality may be that the OP and her husband each need one and a half seats, so they are relying on each sitting next to a smaller person, and cannot physically sit next to each other. Which merely serves to highlight why the best and fairest solution to the problem is for them each to buy two seats.

ViviPru · 13/02/2014 10:42

Well quite, Floggingmolly which leaves me puzzled as to the motivation for posting....

"ladylike" HAHA!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/02/2014 10:46

AngelaDaviesHair... If that's the case, they could probably manage with three seats for the two of them.

I'd love that actually, three seats just for me to use chaise langue stylee, eating peeled grapes for the whole flight...

Drifting even further off the point...
Is your username anything to do with Enid Blyton's Mallory Towers? Have always wanted to ask you that.

CalamitouslyWrong · 13/02/2014 10:49

Many years ago, on a night flight back from Mallorca, the cabin crew suggested to me that I should move over to an empty row of three seats with toddler DS1. They then helped me position him so he was lying down, tucked in and with a seatbelt on so I could stretch out a bit in the remaining space. It was great. Much better than the flight out where the idiots behind me thought it was just fine to let their kids kick the seat the whole bloody way.

RedToothBrush · 13/02/2014 10:53

I have three problems with the OP's post.

if I end up sitting next to a nasty person who is ' a fat-phobe' and huffs and puffs at me the whole 3 hours for taking up more than my (tiny) seat space.

The lack of definition of what a 'nasty person' and 'fat-phobe' actually is
Next to the
Assumption that is acceptable to take up more than your allocated space without potentially upsetting others.
And the expectation that the post isn't going to provoke a bunch of angry responses in on MN.

Its fine to say you are worry about flying but don't go attacking the general world in the same sentence and lack empathy for how it might effect others. Bad attitudes attract bad attitudes.

It bugs me because I am small and the assumption of people sitting on planes next to me is that this gives them license to monopolise both armrests and use my leg room. This applies to average sized people, men in general and larger people. Its just rude. I tolerate it to a point, but there are a lot of people who think they have more rights than you do purely because of their size.

As for huffing and puffing... I think this mostly occurs when someone is trying to either dislodge themselves from under someone else or has difficulty getting out to use the facilities. I think huffing and puffing tends to be more polite and is less likely to create situations which cause confrontation. Its very difficult to assert yourself to someone much bigger than you that they are taking the piss and not being considerate to you either.

The one mercy of being small is that I have sharp pointy elbows and I have no fear of using them to reclaim my thigh or breasts.

AngelaDaviesHair · 13/02/2014 10:53

Oh yes three seats would do it (bad at maths!)

No, my name refers to Angela Davies the black 60s radical and intellectual who had a fabulous Afro that I envy to this day.

I loathe Enid Blyton I afraid, she is rather unsound on race, amongst other things!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 13/02/2014 10:59

Would you tolerate someone's child sitting next to you? We have two children so have to sit one parent one child or 3 seats and one across the aisle. You might be able to swap with someone so you have a child in the seat next to you which would solve the problem.

You can't blame the person next to you if they don't want you sitting in their seat. I am overweight so I do understand the issue but its not fair of you to make it someone elses problem.

Pigletin · 13/02/2014 11:02

So someone is "nasty" just because they don't want you spilling into their seat? Interesting...

Fleta · 13/02/2014 11:05

*I am still not getting why the op wouldnt book a seat next to her husband I dont get it

An impossibility if they are are similar size.*

If this is the case they should absolutely be paying for three seats between them - not relying on both sitting on top of next to smaller people.

From the OP I imagine her partner is smaller as she said she was worried she wouldn't get sat next to him

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/02/2014 11:06

That is a great afro, AngelaDaviesHair. I will now not picture you as the insipid, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Angela Davies of EB fame. Agree with you that Enid Blyton books haven't aged well, the were definitely 'of a time', which isn't 'now'.

But I do still love the school stories, however hard I tell myself not to. Blush

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