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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be so upset? GP surgery told me I would be removed from their list if I don't have a smear test

290 replies

veryworried29 · 12/02/2014 16:06

Namechanging uber-regular here.

I received a text from my GP surgery which said "Please confirm address by phone. If not you will be removed from surgery list."

I rang immediately and was told that if I don't come in for a smear test then I will be struck off the surgery list!

Dh and I have been with this surgery for 18 years and our children since they were born.

I don't feel I need a smear test. We very rarely have sex and when we do it is always with a condom. I have had years of clear smears before me.

I find them horrifically unpleasant, in the same way that some people are phobic about the dentist, infact think I may have a form of vaginismus (sp?) hence the lace of piv sex.

Tbh, it almost feels like I must agree to be raped (sorry for emotive language, but this is how it feels to me) in order to keep a place at my GP surgery.

I cannot begin to describe how upset I am about this. There have been tears.

I'd be grateful if you could bear this in mind when replying ... I know this is aibu, but I do feel I have a genuine aibu to run past you all with this one.

OP posts:
VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 12/02/2014 20:01

The op has said it would be like a sexual assault to have a smear. Calling her bonkers in an incredibly cuntish thing to say. People do all sorts of stuff that isn't ideal. They eat meat and increase their chance of bowel cancer. They smoke and increase their chance of lung cancer. They do extreme sports. They get in a fucking car EVERY day.

She isn't bonkers, she's decided that is an acceptable risk.

Klingyston · 12/02/2014 20:02

You are being offered a free potentially lif e saving service and you want to complain? Why dont you go and live in a third world country with little healthcare and Im sure you'll soon have a different opinion.

JackNoneReacher · 12/02/2014 20:04

I think they're lying. I would ask the practice manager how to make an official complaint.

I presume they don't strike people off for drinking too much/smoking/being obese...?

Heavy handed and hardly the way to treat patients (who may be nervous).

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 12/02/2014 20:05

Fucking hell! That is appalling!

No-one should have to have any medical procedure. Especially one so invasive, to retain access to GP care!

I am really disgusted by this and would be complainjng very loudly.

Honeysweet · 12/02/2014 20:06

Some posters lack basic empathy.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 12/02/2014 20:06

And i cant beleive people here are saying you should pretty much shut up and agree to it and be grateful

Angry
ShadowFall · 12/02/2014 20:08

Well, she's not being offered this free, potentially life saving service, is she, Klingyston!

She's being told that she has to have it, whether she likes it or not, or she'll be removed from the GP surgery list and therefore won't be able to see any of the GP's there about any health problems (of any kind) ever again.

That's the issue here. Not whether smear tests are good or not.

JackNoneReacher · 12/02/2014 20:09

The NHS is NOT FREE klingy only at point of delivery.

We are all entitled to decline any treatment without having to forfeit other aspects of the service.

In fact, even those who actively go out and drink themselves stupid, smoke etc receive NHS care.

Salmotrutta · 12/02/2014 20:10

Klingon - you are being horrible to the OP.

Lots of women have a real phobia about this (e.g women who have been assaulted or abused) and the OP has obviously got a physical condition compounding all of this too.

I hope you aren't in a caring profession Klingon

Salmotrutta · 12/02/2014 20:10

Oh, I'm sorry, I appear to have called you Klingon.

ISingSoprano · 12/02/2014 20:14

Do you know what I think?

I think there has been a big misunderstanding between surgery and patient. I think you should contact your practice manager about the issue of you being removed from the practice list. After that I think you should make an appointment to see a doctor or the practice nurse to talk about the smear test. Tell them how you feel and let them explain what they can do to help and what you need to do if you still want to opt out.

It usually helps to talk about these things rationally.

Mrsdavidcaruso · 12/02/2014 20:14

WHOAH Klingy you have no right NO RIGHT to guilt trip the OP like this

I remember my Mum telling me that when she married in 1972 and went to get a new prescription for the pill she mentioned that she needed
to get her name updated to her married name. As soon as her GP knew she was married he told her she needed to get her DH permission to go on the pill, do you want us to go back to those times, do you want to have a culture where a woman can be bullied into having an intimate examination, where her body is not her own this is 2014 not flaming 1914

By all means start a thread showing links to how a woman can have a smear the way she wants, relaxation techniques what ever - you do the research but never ever guilt trip a vulnerable woman like you just did

Your post is unacceptable

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2014 20:16

Why dont you go and live in a third world country with little healthcare and Im sure you'll soon have a different opinion.

Actually, even people in third world countries should have a human right to refuse invasive procedures if they so choose. If they don't then their country has laws which are regarded as unacceptable by most of the rest of the world.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 12/02/2014 20:16

honey no, some poster lack so much as a fucking brain cell.

Klingyston You are being offered a free potentially lif e saving service and you want to complain? Why dont you go and live in a third world country with little healthcare and Im sure you'll soon have a different opinion.

She doesn't fucking want it. Why should she go to a third world country? They abuse women here.. why waste a flight

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 12/02/2014 20:23

Oh I fucked up my bolding, before anyone thinks I am responsible for the bit of ignorant bile being spouted by klingy.

And no, the NNHS sure as hell isn't free

ISingSoprano · 12/02/2014 20:25

It's free at the point of delivery.

Original poster
veryworried29 · 12/02/2014 20:29

I've looked at the surgery website and there is a named practice manager with her email address and she describes herself as "the first port of call for complaints or compliments" so I am going to write to her tomorrow.

Will attempt a draft email and see what others think ...

OP posts:
breatheslowly · 12/02/2014 20:29

I'm confused by the risk issue. My understanding is that cervical cancer is caused by HPV which is sexually transmitted. If you only have one sexual partner in your life and your sexual partner has also only been your sexual partner, then can't you pretty much rule yourself to be at very low risk?

I understand that people do lie about their sexual history or about affairs, but as far as I can tell, the reason that I have smears is just in case my DH isn't honest to me.

Isn't it possible to test for HPV instead and then only do smear testing on people who have HPV?

LEMmingaround · 12/02/2014 20:31

Err not having a smear doesn't mean you are gong to get cancer klingy - it is absolutely the OP's choice and you know what, she will probably be fine. For me, the risk is too high as its a simple procedure FOR ME! it isn't a simple procedure for others, for many reasons. Your post is ill-thought out and not backed up by any facts whatsover. I wouldnt be here if it wasn't for smears, i would absolutely be dead now, but i also respect other women's choices not to have one if they don't want to.

My cousin has never had a smear - her choice, her reason - she'd rather not know Hmm Daft really when it is so treatable, but still, its her choice. When i am older i will be offered bowl screening, i honestly cannot say i will have it done or not.

ISingSoprano · 12/02/2014 20:31

Sounds like a good plan veryworried29.

Musicaltheatremum · 12/02/2014 20:35

That's rubbish. They can't remove you for not having a smear. We just record objections but do still recall you every year.(or at least the health board does here in Scotland.) I could understand if you didn't confirm your address although we still get paid for you whilst on the list unless they are trying to reduce their list size.
It's your choice to have a smear test. I would encourage you but can't force you to have one.

sykadelic · 12/02/2014 20:44

I live in the US and they've just changed the rules here about Pap smears. If I've had no abnormal results by the time I'm 30, and have no other risk factors (i.e. I'm married and neither of us sleep around) I can go FIVE years between smears. I mention that because it's not a one-size-fits-all situation... if you're low risk (like I am) there's no need to have it done every year.

I have issues with pap smears and my one in 2011 (I get them every 2 years) was extremely painful. I was pretty anxious about having my one last year and talked to the GP about it and she explained that the previous person probably used the smaller speculum (my cervix is high up) so when she used the bigger one this most recent time it was much better (well as good as it can be right :P). I'm having another done this year (turned 30 since my last one) in order to not have one for 5 years :D


OP - I didn't see the posts about the legality of it but surely you can't be forced to have a medical procedure done or risk being removed from their books. That does not sound right AT ALL and I'd be extremely upset in your position as well.
iseenodust · 12/02/2014 20:49

OP They cannot remove you from the list for this. The person on the phone was either a poor communicator or indeed lying.

diamondlizard · 12/02/2014 20:53

i didnt know not having sex loads ment a reduced risk of cervical cancer