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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be so upset? GP surgery told me I would be removed from their list if I don't have a smear test

290 replies

veryworried29 · 12/02/2014 16:06

Namechanging uber-regular here.

I received a text from my GP surgery which said "Please confirm address by phone. If not you will be removed from surgery list."

I rang immediately and was told that if I don't come in for a smear test then I will be struck off the surgery list!

Dh and I have been with this surgery for 18 years and our children since they were born.

I don't feel I need a smear test. We very rarely have sex and when we do it is always with a condom. I have had years of clear smears before me.

I find them horrifically unpleasant, in the same way that some people are phobic about the dentist, infact think I may have a form of vaginismus (sp?) hence the lace of piv sex.

Tbh, it almost feels like I must agree to be raped (sorry for emotive language, but this is how it feels to me) in order to keep a place at my GP surgery.

I cannot begin to describe how upset I am about this. There have been tears.

I'd be grateful if you could bear this in mind when replying ... I know this is aibu, but I do feel I have a genuine aibu to run past you all with this one.

OP posts:
Belalug0si · 13/02/2014 08:43

Winter and John
Cervical screening identifies pre-cancerous changes, it can also detect cancerous changes. Ideally the changes are picked up at the pre-cancerous stage and allows treatment before the cells progress to cancer.

Can I suggest that a separate thread is started for a discussion about the screening process itself (in health?) as that's not what the OP started this thread to discuss or get support on.

spindoctorofaethelred · 13/02/2014 09:38

Kytti

I find your post horr

wintertimeisfun · 13/02/2014 09:44

i got an nhs letter threatening me with the same. i have a yearly smear privately so when i had one this year i asked them (marie stopes) to send my dr a letter to shut them up :0)

spindoctorofaethelred · 13/02/2014 09:45

Kytti

I find your post horrifying and disgusting. Who made you the authority on what women were allowed to find traumatic? Hmm I evidently need to write a letter complaining about their professional misjudgement. You've been promoted vastly beyond your competence.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 13/02/2014 09:54

Gossipmonster

If a woman is coerced in to opening her legs and letting a stranger put something in her that she doesn't want.. In what way is that not like a rape?

Telling someone they may not have access to medical care (that she already pays for ffs) is coercion. And nasty

Lottiedoubtie · 13/02/2014 09:55

Some of these posts remain beyond offensive.

I can't believe there are many GPs who wouldn't think that the OPs stance was misguided, although they might not put it as bluntly as that in real life.

Do you know what my GP said when I discussed the issue recently? For similar reasons to the OP I decline smear tests. GP said that due to my sexual history I had a reduced (not eliminated, but reduced) chance of catching it. That it was my decision and as long as I had thought carefully about it that was fine. Then said the chances of problems resulting from my decision were very small but if I wished to change my mind just make an appointment.

That seems like reasonable advice doesn't it? Not quite as horrific as 'you've no right to refuse if you haven't been raped, be grateful we are willing to cause you undue mental anguish, it's for your own good you foolish woman'. .

Floggingmolly · 13/02/2014 10:03

It's in the interests of preventative medicine, vegetarian; there's no prurient element to it at all. You'd have to wonder how the op managed childbirth.

RoxyRobin · 13/02/2014 10:03

I've always trotted along like a good little girl to have a smear test. However, twenty years ago I had a ghastly experience with an unpleasant nurse at my GP's practice - and I speak as someone who has submitted stoically to diverse awful procedures over my lifetime. I discovered that I could have cervical screening at our local sexual health clinic, so have gone there ever since. I found the doctors and nurses there very sympathetic in their approach. Last time I was there the doctor informed me that my chances of contracting cervical cancer now were virtually zero - yet I'll still be called for tests until I'm 64, in six years' time. It bugged the staff at my GP's that I was going elsewhere for screening ('You can have it done here, you know!' Er, no - not after my experience with your bullying, offensive nurse.)

I've seen a couple of articles by Dr Margaret McCartney (a GP) concerning the need for properly informed screening choice - here's one from The Indie. I'm not suggesting anyone should give their smear test a miss - I'll still be going for mine. But we are individual women not a herd of farm animals and our concerns and decisions should be treated with respect.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 13/02/2014 10:08

"You'd have to wonder how the op managed childbirth."

Maybe YOU would. The rest of us can see that the two things are completely different and also realise that her children may have had no contact with her vagina ever!

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 13/02/2014 10:08

Many women become phobic about internal exams after their pregnancy due to not being listened to or physically forced by their HCPs while laying down in stirups etc

No idea if that was caused the OPs feelings or not, I do know however it is entirely possible to refuse all internals during pregnancy and labor. Frankly the only thing a HCP need do in labor is catch. And when done at home in a tub they aren't even needed for that

livelablove · 13/02/2014 10:09

Rather than forcing people to do this what is needed is some help for people who do want the test but find it difficult and upsetting. The few who really feel strongly they can't do it must be allowed to decline. For me what would help is knowing the person doing the test would be kind and proffessional and would have the training to make the test as pain free as possible. Just as people who are nervous of the dentist can go to a dentist who specialises in helping nervous patients some help should be available for this issue too.

livelablove · 13/02/2014 10:11

X post with some others saying similar things there.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 13/02/2014 10:13

I don't think it's the pain element for most women with internals, though I see your point. Maybe someone trained to deal with the emotional fall out?

I hate internal exams and will decline at all opportunities except the very necessary.. I would however feel assaulted by a male HCP doing one.. SO I would never have one from a man. Ever. I know that's not a popular view on here, but it's the way I feel so I see where the op is coming from.

RedToothBrush · 13/02/2014 10:15

Floggingmolly Thu 13-Feb-14 10:03:04
It's in the interests of preventative medicine, vegetarian; there's no prurient element to it at all. You'd have to wonder how the op managed childbirth.

You know that one of the common reasons for requesting an ELCS is due to a history of sexual abuse or rape don't you? And that this is accepted as being a valid reason to ask due to effects on mental health.

And that if you do have a VB you do not have to have internal examinations.

Also even if you have issues of this nature, being sensitive about the problem and not forcing or coercing a woman into anything is crucial and will help her deal with situations that she finds potentially distressing. Attitude and empathy really go a long way to helping people overcome these issues.

Hope that helps with your ignorance on the subject.

LEMmingaround · 13/02/2014 10:15

There are some nasty people on this thread

KatnipEvergreen · 13/02/2014 10:18

Yes Lemming. Again. I hope it's educational for them at least.

whatever5 · 13/02/2014 10:25

Although I think that everyone should have smear tests (for their own sake), it is outrageous that your GP should bully you like this.

I would keep the text and complain to NHS England about it.

whatever5 · 13/02/2014 10:37

Actually on second thoughts, the text just says "Please confirm address by phone. If not you will be removed from surgery list" which doesn't suggest that you have to have a smear test to stay on the GP list. I think that you just need to confirm that you are still a patient and the receptionist is just being thick to state that you have to have a smear.

Original poster
veryworried29 · 13/02/2014 10:48

I'm working now but have just glanced at this thread, haven't had time to tweak my email yet.

It is interesting that despite my polite request "I cannot begin to describe how upset I am about this. There have been tears. I'd be grateful if you could bear this in mind when replying ..."

some posters still have to reply in an aggressive and sarcastic manner. Generally speaking I am a fan of speaking to strangers on the internet as you would to a stranger introduced to you by a mutual acquaintance.

Having said that, I am so grateful for the help I have had on this thread and for the understanding posts from the vast majority of people who have replied.

OP posts:
MelanieRavenswood · 13/02/2014 11:00

Terrifying that not even the healthcare professionals on this thread seem to understand what vaginismus is. It isn't a "preference", FFS.

I hope you get somewhere with your letter, OP.

cafebistro · 13/02/2014 11:17

Change GP's and seek counselling for your phobia. Smears are much less unpleasant than treatment for cervical cancer.

EmmelineGoulden · 13/02/2014 11:29

Cervical cancer is a small risk in the grand scheme of things, even if you sleep around. The NHS provides cervical screening because the test is relatively inexpensive and statistically it works out good value for money. The moralizing on this thread about someone choosing not to follow NICE guidelines for their own body would be comedic if it weren't so viscious.

OP I am so glad you are complaining. It is appalling treatment and shows a very poor mindset from, at the very least, the receptionist. I hope you can find someone you feel comfortable with again in the future so that you have greater access to gynecological care when you want it.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 13/02/2014 11:47

posters still have to reply in an aggressive and sarcastic manner. Generally speaking I am a fan of speaking to strangers on the internet as you would to a stranger introduced to you by a mutual acquaintance
Bless you op, for giving people the benefit of the doubt and assuming they aren't twunts in real life too Wink

JackNoneReacher · 13/02/2014 12:05

Kytti

It's a wonderful free test to check you don't have a horrible disease

Its neither free nor wonderful.

We all pay for the services we receive on the NHS just not at point of delivery.

Whilst its wonderful that its saved lives its not wonderful to have a smear.

Honeysweet · 13/02/2014 12:13

Imagine. Although the op isnt a patient of yours, she is still a patient. And has real life feelings.
If you were called upon to treat someone at a car crash scene or on an aeroplane, presumably you would still afford them the same care and attention as if they were your patient.
Someone posting on an internet forum, I think she and everyone else, should expect the same courtesy and consideration.

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