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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell work I won't go to this event tomorrow?

27 replies

Waggamamma · 11/02/2014 18:34

My colleague has arranged for my work to hold an information stall at a public awareness event tomorrow. My colleague can't actually make the event as she has another meeting. I have to do 9am-1:30pm and another colleague in the afternoon. Its in a marquee in the middle of town.

Thing is it's currently 2 degrees here and an inch of snow on the ground (still snowing!). It will be freezing tomorrow, sat in a marquee all morning! I don't cope well in the cold.
I'm also ten weeks pregnant and still being sick 4-6 times a day and worried about lack of toilets/not making it on time and vomiting in public. Nobody at work knows I'm pg except my manager.

AIBU to say I won't attend the event? it will leave everyone in the lurch as I know there's no one cover it and it will look bad on the organisation who invited us along if we don't go.

OP posts:
Tailtwister · 11/02/2014 18:37

How long have you known about this event? I would say that telling them you can't make it when you're supposed to be there at 9am tomorrow is a bit off tbh.

Bowlersarm · 11/02/2014 18:40

Unless you can get someone to cover for you, you need to attend the event.

ATacticalNameChange · 11/02/2014 18:44

I think you either have to tell them you're preggers and fall on their mercy or just go. Being cold isn't really an excuse unless you have circulatory or other medical problems, surely.

Original poster
Waggamamma · 11/02/2014 18:46

I've know about a week and a half but only found out today that it was in a marquee outside (I assumed conference centre indoors). and it onky started snowing today!

OP posts:
Dromedary · 11/02/2014 18:48

YABU, unless you are actually forbidden to leave the marquee to go to a toilet (will be plenty in centre of town).

ATacticalNameChange · 11/02/2014 18:48

Well whoever goes is going to be cold! Can you not layer up?

Mojang · 11/02/2014 18:51

I think you would be very unreasonable. Its a few hours and you'd be leaving them in the lurch and expecting someone else to do what you're refusing to do Dress appropriately

Stubbed · 11/02/2014 18:53

Early pregnancy is hard, and you tend to feel a bit sorry for yourself, but you wouldn't want then to think you were a princess would you? Sounds like one if those things that you just have to get through like a professional...

Logg1e · 11/02/2014 18:54

Yep, layer up and if there are no toilets, just stay until you need to leave.

Bowlersarm · 11/02/2014 18:54

Sorry OP, but you would be very unreasonable to let them down. Wrap up warm. It's only for the morning.

LIZS · 11/02/2014 18:56

Do you need to stay or can you just set the stand up , linger for the opening rush then leave for you colleague to come along later. You've really left this too late to cancel and actually it may actually be warmer with snow than without. Take a hot water bottle perhaps, a small bowl or bags and wipes and layer up .

shoom · 11/02/2014 19:06

Does your manager know that you're doing this tomorrow? Do they know you are being sick in work? It seems a bit odd that they didn't mention that it was outdoors, or talk to you about toilet facilities. And it's unfortunate that when you found out today, you weren't able to speak to your manager and ask if anyone else can cover your shift.

Not much you can do now, apart from go along in the morning and see how it goes, and warn your manager that you may need cover.

specialsubject · 11/02/2014 19:11

lots and lots of thermals, and make sure you know where the toilets are.

OatcakeCravings · 11/02/2014 19:16

Go early and find out where the toilets are, wrap up warm. Can't believe you are thinking about leaving them in the lurch. You should have sorted cover today if you felt you couldn't manage, not left it until everyone was out of the office.

BerniceBroadside · 11/02/2014 19:17

Surely the marquee will be heated?

Even if not you suck it up & go. Better to go and have to leave because you're unwell than to look flaky by bailing the night before.

Original poster
Waggamamma · 11/02/2014 19:20

Thanks everyone, it seems to be one of those things that I just need to suck up and get on with it. I guess I'm just a bit annoyed my colleague signed us up for it in the first place. I'm usually office based.

I can't leave the stall to rush off as it will have a laptop playing videos.

shoom yes my manager knows I'm going to this. She's been generally very understanding of my pregnancy so far. I have told her I've been very ill unable to keep much food down but I haven't taken any time off work yet, although my productivity had slowed a bit. She didn't mention not going tomorrow.

OP posts:
missymayhemsmum · 11/02/2014 21:26

Go, wrap up warm, then make friends with the people on neighbouring stalls, get max sympathy with being pg so you have cover if you need to disappear. Worse scenario, close down the laptop, put it safe, leave the stall and hand over to a colleague at lunchtime. You'll survive

ShoeWhore · 11/02/2014 21:29

I'd be really surprised if the marquee isn't heated.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 11/02/2014 21:30

You gave to go, but please don't wear daft shoes! Get some nice warm socks under some nice comfy boots. Take a flask. Commandeer yourself a chair as soon as possible and befriend the person at the next stand so that you can nip off to the loo. Sorted.

LaGuardia · 11/02/2014 21:33

If there is power for the laptop, there will be power for a heater. Take a fan heater or similar with you. Sheeesh.

Wickeddevil · 11/02/2014 21:36

Agree to befriending the person / people on the next stand. It could be tough if the cold brings on sickness, so yes go prepared for that too.

Good luck x

PansOnFire · 11/02/2014 21:41

Not a great move by your colleague but isn't that always the way? I work with someone who does this to us all the time, arranges things which are awkward and then suddenly can't attend. YABU not to attend, but YANBU to be annoyed about it.

Use the advice on the thread to help. 1.30 will come around in no time. Good luck!

peppinagiro · 11/02/2014 21:43

Take some carrier/paper bags in your handbag in case you can't make ir to the toilet. And a bottle of water to sip. Poor you :(

On the plus side, I found that cold air made me feel less sick. Maybe it'll be a less nauseating morning than being in the office or it'll be awful and you should reward yourself with some ginger biscuits and internet shopping later

MiniSoksMakeHardWork · 11/02/2014 22:20

If you've told your manager they should have done a risk assessment. And I'd be very surprised if they allowed you to work alone. Even before I told the colleagues I shared an office with, my risk assessment stated no lone working. So unless someone was in the same area as me, I'd have to finish work when the others left.

Purplepoodle · 11/02/2014 22:27

I took two weeks off in early pregnancy with all my kids as count cope with rushing to the toilet every 10minutes to throw or those delightful moments where you throw up unexpectedly. There would be no way I could stand at a stall inside or out, unfortunately you've left it too late to back out so go armed with some bags and a bucket.