AIBU this young mother should have thought a little harder about what toys to take to the library?

[Morgause]

Local studies department of the library all is quiet as people researching their families, local history or looking through old newspapers make quiet notes. The only sound is the hushed whispered request to the librarian. It's always like that there - a little oasis of peace and tranquillity in the middle of a big city.

Enter young mum with small child clad all in pink. Small child is very loud and questioning (but very cute). Eyebrows are raised all around. A shudder of disapproval meanders its way around the gathering. Mum explains loudly to small person that she needs to look at some things in the old newspapers. Small person not impressed (loudly). Neither are crusty researchers.

"I won't be very long", I've bought you some toys to play with. Sighs of relief all round.

Mum roots round in large bag and produces a xylophone. Small child accompanies herself to a rousing chorus of "Winkle, winkle ickle star" several times without once hitting the right note.

The sense of outrage was palpable. I left before the drum came out.

I found it quite amusing but I guess people who'd travelled a long way probably didn't. I can't help but think some books and dolls may have been a better choice than a xylophone.

MinesAPintOfTea if you looked under 30 ish then you would have been described as young by me. For all I know this mother could have had several degrees, she may well have done because she knew what she was looking for and where to find it. I'm old, and don't mind being described as such. Middle-aged is a compliment to me.

Afterwards I thought she'd probably popped in on impulse and gave her child whatever she'd taken in her bag as a distraction. I trained myself to "tune out" noise made by my DCs on instruments and she may have done the same.

The story wouldn't have been funny without the description. Perhaps next time a disclaimer about adjectives should go at the end of every post.

I notice nobody has complained about the phrase ctusty researchers . Heavens only knows what crusty could imply

Obviously that should read crusty.

Young is an insult now?

Was just going to say that about crusty researchers! Haha. Love it how people pick up what they want to be offended about.
Great descriptive story. Can just imagine it.

So I, a freelance consultant with two degrees, would be described as a young mum if you saw me with my toddler?

Yes. Unless you were wearing your very important 'I'm a freelance consultant badge' and then that might have made it into the description too.

Are you REALLY offended by that?

Some of these responses to a post where the OP is clearly setting a scene are making me

Musical instruments in a library were a bad choice of toy, agreed. Children making noise in a library - ok by me. I think libraries have to encourage young children so they have a new generation of readers, or we may end up losing our libraries and that would be really sad.

PS: I enjoyed your post OP.

isn't this woman as entitled as everyone else to look for something in a library?

What is wrong with being described a 'young mother'? You are what you are. It isn't an insult. It has no bearing on your professional qualifications.

And I know libraries are (rightly) very child-friendly these days, but unless it is an actual group activity held there, libraries are no place for musical/noisy toys. Even children like a bit of peace and quiet sometimes, and there's precious little of it out there.

Some of these responses to a post where the OP is clearly setting a scene are making me

Seriously people, FFS! Doesn't anyone read books, you know, where adjectives are used (pretty, tired, old, fat etc) to add colour to the scene. The OP was trying to build up a picture for us. 'A shudder of disapproval meanders' etc.

Young and pink aren't even insults!

Loved it!

Surely there's an app with xylophone noises on her phone and no need to cart big toy?

I'm not sure if it's been pointed out yet that your choice of options the mum could have brought instead, namely 'books or dolls', may be gender-stereotyped. I think we've exhausted and critiqued all the words used now.

I think this thread is highly insulting to xylophones and I am reporting it.

"So I, a freelance consultant with two degrees, would be described as a young mum if you saw me with my toddler?"

I'll raise you! I've got three degrees - and desperately hope that I am would be described as a "young mum" if the OP saw me!

One of my Brownies asked me how old I was, so I told her to guess. To be fair, I was rather fishing for compliments and was aiming for something close to 21. "Mid-thirties?" was the reply. Lovely! Not quite!

I think you set the scene really well. The description was necessary to the story to help set the scene so well. You've made me smile, so thank you.

Also, her choice of toys was terrible, a few books would have been so much better but then you wouldn't have been able to make so many of us smile with your story. :)

No 'young' isn't an insult but the connotation that 'young' = clueless or other implied stereotype is.

young people are often clueless though. When I was a young women I was much more clueless and unaware than I am now. It is less likely that an older mother/person would have brought a musical instrument into a library to amuse her child.

You might have been more clueless when you were younger. It doesn't mean everybody else is. There's plenty of clueless older women about as well.

'young' = clueless those are your words Jazz not mine. I didn't think that at all but you obviously do.

No 'young' isn't an insult but the connotation that 'young' = clueless or other implied stereotype is.

I read 'young' as a mere statement of fact.

How you choose to interpret it is entirely up to you.

The OP is clearly a good writer, made us think and talk about this piece. It was also funny.

Jesus, can't people add detail to a story anymore. I can picture some of you FB'ing authors 'Why did you describe the weather in this scene? The weather had nothing to do with the plot!!'

And it's not twitter, no text limit...

It's not something that I think but it's an attitude I've come across myself being a 'young' mum and working with others on stereotype training.

Yes, can you imagine in RL?

Hi, how are you?

Ok, had to take dd to doctor's, she's got a virus, she's been up half the night

Oh, was that amount of detail necessary? I actually asked how you were, and are you sure you mean half the night? How many hours exactly?

Yanbu, but i'm also driven mad by older people who research as a couple and talk each other through the whole process, constantly.