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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think I will never own my home

92 replies

Sadoldbag · 10/02/2014 14:51

AIBUto think we will never own a home and most like have both kids living with us well into there 30s

I a little depressing to be Honest

Oh works full time even though I am SHAM realised that even if I went back to work my wage would only cover child care so no point

We have saved which seems like a huge amount however we are told by the bank we need 50k at least deposit

We then thought about moving out of London as oh job travels however when we rand the council in Birmingham we were pretty much told because of year group ds in is the only school he would get onto are the sink schools :(

If we can't afford a home and it's 50k deposit now I can't see ds affording to move out until at least 30 If at all

So what's the point we can't buy we don't have enough to help ds we can't move out of London it's just a load of cats bum

We have tried the key worker scheme which is also cats bum

OP posts:
MrsOakenshield · 10/02/2014 16:11

so, aside from the fact that everyone else in your OH's family own - why do you need to? Do you feel insecure as a tenant? Do you feel your house is not your home? If you are in a good location, work and school wise, your rent and landlord are fine and you are happy in your home - I can't really see what the problem is? Owning your own home is not always the be-all-and-end-all it can be made out to be.

MaidOfStars · 10/02/2014 16:12

Where I live: 3 bed modern detached, wraparound garden, off-road parking for two cars, cul-de-sac location, small market town, 30 mins train to major city, local school has places open for year 9 with Spanish GCSE on the curriculum. £180k.

aintnothinbutagstring · 10/02/2014 16:13

Why do you want to buy? Do you think it would be a good investment? If you read enough about why owning is not a great investment it will open your eyes. How much is your rent compared to a 300k mortgage? Ie. We're in the SE, its cheaper to rent and invest the extra. Savings are ours and liquid for when we need them rather than tied up in equity. We have no obligation to maintain our property, some houses can be little more than money pits. No to mention the benefit of not being permanently tied to our location, if local jobs market goes tits up for example.

HellonHeels · 10/02/2014 16:25

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-42044374.html

Here you are OP - 250,000, seaside location, commutable to London. You could get cheaper round there, too. I have relatives with children at school in the area and they are doing well.

Your catastrophising about your DCs not buying homes and living with you in their 30s seems rather over the top - I'd focus on the immediate future, next few years. It's more than 25 years presumably until your younger DC hits 30?

JuliaScurr · 10/02/2014 16:29

www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/property/medway/

commutable to London
lovely countryside
near coast
cheap

JuliaScurr · 10/02/2014 16:29

www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/property/medway/

Joysmum · 10/02/2014 16:36

If I couldn't affirm to buy where I was, I'd look to get a buy to let investment in an area I could afford. At least that way, I could be on the property ladder somewhere.

RalphRecklessCardew · 10/02/2014 16:38

OP, have you considered Luton? Yes, I know, I know, but it's 24 minutes to King's Cross and 220k gets you this 3-bed less than a mile from the station: www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-19106436.html

I am also very fond of the aspirational Luton blog: www.yogaworldandpesto.wordpress.com

LaurieFairyCake · 10/02/2014 16:47

Sqeaky - where do you live in London where you have semis for 275, is it nice?

I'd love to move further in when dd is grown (currently in Herts) Smile

HellonHeels · 10/02/2014 16:49

Also, you could look at a 30 year mortgage term, that would lower immediate repayment costs. You could remortgage to a shorter term once you return to work.

expatinscotland · 10/02/2014 16:58

Why not save up and save up and then, after the kids leave home, you buy a retirement chalet for cash outside London?

DanceParty · 10/02/2014 17:04

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Mon 10-Feb-14 15:10:02

How about moving AFTER the GSCE's?

Have you ever TRIED getting teenagers to move far away from their friends etc.? Good luck with that!

Floggingmolly · 10/02/2014 17:10

I'd love to know too, Squeaky...

MrsCakesPremonition · 10/02/2014 17:11

If you can afford £200K, then yes you can buy your own 3 bed home. You might need to compromise on location, put some effort in to doing it up etc. but it is possible, and within commuting distance of London.

mummywithsmiles · 10/02/2014 17:15

I'm 22 ,baby is 5 weeks old .... Just moved bk in with my mum and that's where I'm staying ... I could never afford to even rent here or buy so feel your frustration. I would love to even rent but right now and unless I have a sudden career change which I earn mega money me and daughter will be living in my mums 3 bed flat with my mum and 2 sisters who r both in there 30,s well one is nearly 30.

MrsOakenshield · 10/02/2014 17:18

weellll, I wouldn't fancy commuting from St Leonard's; and the north Kent coast? I dunno, I daresay I'm a dreadful snob but even the pull of grammars wouldn't tempt me. Kent is also very isolating unless everyone you know lives there - it's our nearest bit of countryside and many people move on out that way, but for us we'd have the whole of London (rather than part of it) to navigate in order to see any family!

Creamycoolerwithcream · 10/02/2014 17:26

I think Kent is a good commuter place to live. In places like Barnehurst and Bexleheath you can get nice family sized homes for way under 250k with excellent schools and shopping nearby plus good trains into London.

GTA5MASTER · 10/02/2014 17:36

We are in the same position op. We really want to buy but only have £10000 for a deposit so far and thanks to my husbands ex who hasn't been paying off her half of a debt we have no choice but to pay it even though it's already effected our credit so the bank will say NO anyway.
Can't keep moving about as my youngest has autism and it takes her an age to settle and disrupts schooling. So we are stuck between a rock and a hard place :-(

JohnnyBarthes · 10/02/2014 17:48

I'm understand your despair OP, but your attitude to returning to work really isn't going to help. Yes, a lot of families find that childcare eats up a horrible % of their household income, but if you want to improve yours and your family's income longer term, then it's a choice been putting your career on hold and shelling out the fees.

mizu · 10/02/2014 18:11

We are in same position too OP. We have 6000 saved and that has taken us nearly two years.

We live in a fairly expensive part of the UK and both work locally and have family here so do not want to move.

It IS possible to buy a small small house for about 170,000 but even saving a deposit for that will takes aeons. Neither of us earn much.

However as MrsOaken has said on here, I flucutate between being happy to rent (been here over 6 years, great school, great location and able to move easily when DDs go up to secondary in a few years) as it is convenient to being frustrated as no one else i know is 40 and renting.

The problem too with having to save is that there is no money left for anything else...........

I watched that programme last night about Denmark and swooned at the living style they have.

The Help to Buy scheme is crap because with such a small deposit you are going to have a huge mortgage and therefore impossible payments each month.

Bearbehind · 10/02/2014 18:21

It does sound like a lot of your 'facts' are based on hearsay, generalisations and urban myths rather than hard data.

In your OP you said you'd been told by the bank you needed a £50k deposit but then later said your sister needed a £40k deposit so you'd thought you'd 'need about the same'???

£40k is not £50k. Have you actually been to the bank and discussed your options?

Financeprincess · 10/02/2014 18:28

I don't think it's a case of being reasonable or unreasonable. If you can't afford to buy the sort of house you want in London, move or carry on renting. I'd quite like a house in Eaton Square and an Aston Martin. It's unlikely that I'll ever have either, but I wouldn't post on here asking people whether I was unreasonable to think so!

expatinscotland · 10/02/2014 18:33

So carry on renting and saving, then when you retire, you can live anywhere not worrying about cachement area and buy a retirement flat or chalet somewhere.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 10/02/2014 18:39

I think your DC will be able to move out to go to Uni or to rent a flat with friends once they're working. I know more young people are staying at home longer, but there should still be options?
I'm hoping so, my DC are 14 and 12 BTW

Regarding owning your own home you might have to move out of London as we did? We wouldn't be able to buy where DH or I grew up either, or probably most of the places we lived in during our twenties.

It's not so bad up north Grin

mrsballack · 10/02/2014 18:53

For the record, we live in a London borough,have an underground station, paid 230k for a decent sized 3 bed semi and a smaller three bed in our (quiet) road just sold for 200k.
A bit further away from us you can get a small three bed terrace for 180k.
The schools are pretty good here, I was brought up here and most of my friends still live in the area and have started their families here.
Perhaps don't dismiss the outer suburbs

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