AIBU to think I will never own my home

[Sadoldbag]

AIBUto think we will never own a home and most like have both kids living with us well into there 30s


I a little depressing to be Honest


Oh works full time even though I am SHAM realised that even if I went back to work my wage would only cover child care so no point


We have saved which seems like a huge amount however we are told by the bank we need 50k at least deposit



We then thought about moving out of London as oh job travels however when we rand the council in Birmingham we were pretty much told because of year group ds in is the only school he would get onto are the sink schools :(

If we can't afford a home and it's 50k deposit now I can't see ds affording to move out until at least 30 If at all


So what's the point we can't buy we don't have enough to help ds we can't move out of London it's just a load of cats bum


We have tried the key worker scheme which is also cats bum

[Retrofairy]

Its true about needing a local address before you can apply, but even in birmingham 200k wouldnt get you much house in the best areas. Would you consider a catholic school? They tend to perform better in the less good areas and if there is space its by no means essential to be catholic. I think unless youre able to make some compromise you probably wont end up buying, that doesnt mean its impossible just that something needs to give.

[Sadoldbag]

Mrs oak


I think oh feels a bit out of it were the only ones in our family who don't own our home


I never really thought I ever would be over the last few years oh has really made me worry

He goes on quite a bit and I am afraid he's Made me now feel we have to own a home



Mary there was a thing in the guardian the other day about 30 something's still living at home due to high rent and inability to get a mortgage and it really scared me a studio round here is around 150k that's not even a whole flat for gods sake and rents for a room are silly money that's if you get past the interview process

[Sadoldbag]

End


No I was giving a example there re a fair few courses that would need to be the same I was told even if the school had spaces they would also need to have room on each of his individual courses if they didn't it would mean he would pretty much have to start a year behind everyone else and start a whole new GCSES subject some of which ds has never even heard of :(

[Sadoldbag]

Retro fairy we have been looking and actually the houses were not bd in what we call a medium area


At the moment we currently live in the poorest area of our LA so any thing would be an upgrade

[MotherOfInsomniacToddlers]

I think the school thing changed rapidly when you move. A friend was told her dc was 23rd on the waiting list for a school she wanted, as soon as she had moved he was first on the list and as they moved over the summer hols he had a place by the September.
If you want to own your own house you'll have to move, not many (me included) can own a house in London, but I have just bought a 3 bed house within an hour on the train to London for less than half what you are saying a 3 bed costs in London, if owning is what you want then sacrifice needs to be made by not living in London

[Fiveleaves]

I have to say that most of my friends had to move out of London to buy a house when they had kids. That's with two full time salaries. I guess people need to work out what is important, SAHM, saving for a deposit, etc. I think it's rare theses days to have the luxury of SAH plus the money to buy in London. London is silly money though. What about Herts?

[Sadoldbag]

Mother I am just to scared if he was in year 7 then I would but not GCSE year if he failed I would never forgive self especially as he's currently doing really unwell.


I think it may be fine to just wing it when there small but I dare not when so much is at stake for him

[Retrofairy]

You should be fine in Birmingham then OP! I think whoever you spoke to at the LA was being unnecesarily pesimistic, like a pp said, I would speak directly to some of the schools in the medium area and more likely than not they will try to be accomodating.

[expatinscotland]

We won't. Meh. I no longer care.

[Sadoldbag]

Fig leaves not being funny but it's not a luxury we would actually be losing money by me working


No point working full time for my wage to cover childcare and a coke

[MichaelFinnigan]

If your DC are of school age surely you getting a job is feasible?

[Fiveleaves]

But you only lose money short term surely?

[Sadoldbag]

Will do retro I phone tomorrow :)

[Sadoldbag]

I have one teen and one baby

[Sadoldbag]

So we would loose money for the next 3 years or so

[HaveToWearHeels]

I think you are misguided to think your children will not be able to buy because you are not able to buy. As someone else said up thread their earning potential may be higher than yours, they may delay having children, different lifestyle choices.
DH's Mum had him as an uneducated single Mum, she worked very very hard at manual jobs and lived with DH's gran. She met DH's step Dad when DH was 2, they both worked, saved a deposit and bought their first home. They then moved to a cheaper area (further out from London).
DH went to University got an excellent degree and bought his first home at 23, by the age of 30 he had a house worth far more than his family home. When we met at 35 we both had our own homes and no children, we were therefore in a position to buy a bigger house together. I benefited from being a very mature 18 year old, also with few qualifications, who got a mortgage at 18, I struggled through 15% interest rates living on baked beans. I worked my way up in a good company and now have an excellent salary. My Dad was 40 when he bought his first house, after a stint traveling the world working for the MOD.

As for yourself, if your DH can work from anywhere I would look at cheaper area's, as lovely as London is there is no need to live there unless you have too. School place will change once you have moved.
What you need to work out is what you can borrow and how much you need to save on top of this for your deposit. The help to Buy scheme is worth looking at if in a few years you could be back at work, increasing your household income.

[MaryWestmacott]

OP - you assume your DS will want to stay in London. Sorry OP, you are assuming alot! DH grew up in a commuter town outside London, his dad commuted in every day. However, DH went to uni in the North East, got a graduate job up there and didn't go back home, but after that had jobs in a succession of other cities. He eventually moved to London, because we were dating I had a job in London (we were both looking in the other one's city, he got a great job offer in London before I found one near him). He move back in with his parents for a grand total of 3 weeks between him moving back for his new job, me getting out of my house share and a flat we could rent together becoming available. We couldn't afford to buy in London, so moved out to another commuter town (not the one he grew up in!).

A £150k studio flat would be perfectly possible for a couple both working and both earning £25k. (below the average wage).

Do you not think it's perfectly possible that a) the recession won't last forever (your DS is lucky in that way, if he's thinking of going ot uni, it's another 5 years or so before he's going to be looking at joining the work force, plently of time for things to start improving, it's those graduating now that have the problem), and b) he might not want to live in the same area and in the same way as you and your DH? and c) is it not possible that he might not be buying ahouse (should he want to) solely on his wage, but with a DP of his own? That he wouldn't be the only one saving for a deposit? (He might even come back from uni with a rich girlfriend with generous parents! Stranger things have happened!!!)

don't just assume it's hopeless because some 30 somethings are still at home, for the bulk of them, it's perfectly possible for them to move out, it's just they wouldn't want the hit in their standard of living. (there are some people who don't have any money, but there's a hell of a lot claiming to be 'stuck at home' on perfectly survivable salaries).

Also, have you looked at commuter towns to London?

[Floggingmolly]

Do you have younger children as well, op? Childcare provision for a Year 9 student is hardly necessary

[Chippednailvarnish]

You're putting issues in place that don't strictly exist.

You don't have to buy around London or Birmingham, after all you are talking about two of England's most populated cities, hence relatively expensive.

You don't have to buy now, why not keep saving and move after GCSE's?

As for not working, as you could only cover your childcare "and a coke", any amounts you earn would count toward what you could borrow and therefore potentially reduce the deposit you need. I don't know anyone with a family who has bought in London on only one salary.


How do you think most people who work in and around London do it?

[Floggingmolly]

Oh, sorry, missed that you have a baby.

[SarahBeenysBumblingApprentice]

Have you thought about Staffordshire? Cheap housing, good schools and good motorway links. No idea about Spanish in schools though, sorry.

[BabyDubsEverywhere]

I live about 35 minutes drive from Birmingham centre, My large three bed with decent (not wonderful but certainly not sink!) schools on my doorstep cost 120K... There are lots of options but sound stuck in a rut and a bit woe is me about it all tbh.

If your DS is in year 9 now then he hasn't started his GCSE's yet has he? I thought they started in year 10... you have a good 6 months until then that's plenty of time to relocate.

Why is your Childcare bill so high if your dc are in secondary?

You wont be put on a school place list until you have an address in the catchment area, but you could look at other areas outside of Birmingham. There are plenty of areas surrounding that you could look at.

Ps - applying for 6 form/college - you can apply from any area to any area, you don't have to be within a catchment for it.

[BabyDubsEverywhere]

Sorry, just noticed the baby.. but still Childcare for one isn't extortionate. Round here a day nursery is about £30/£35 a day. I expect that's cheaper than London too so may help?

[Creamycoolerwithcream]

OP I think your comment about your DC living with you until they are in their 30's a bit odd. My DS moved out last year, he was just 24, works full time and is renting with two friends and really enjoying his 20's.