to be hurt and angry that DH lied?

[mindthegap01]

I've recently gone from working full time to starting maternity leave. Although DH still works full time our income is going to be a lot less while I'm off and he made a big thing about us needing to be really careful with money.

I arranged to have someone come and clean the oven last week and DH was not happy, said it was an extravagance we couldn't afford anymore and he'd do it himself. Fair enough - I cancelled it and got a refund.

On Saturday he went out and bought himself a new tool that apparently he's wanted for ages. He's been playing with it ever since (literally like a little boy with his favourite Christmas present ). I asked how much it cost and he said £20 with 10% off as it was ex-display. I said something like "£2 off, lol, better than nothing!" and he agreed.

Washing his jeans this morning I emptied the pockets and found the receipt. £80, not £20. For the record the oven clean would have been £60, which I agree is a lot.

Am I being unreasonable to be really pissed off and upset that he lied? Or is it just that I'm frustrated to suddenly have no money and no adults to talk to most of the time, having until recently done a really demanding job where I felt really valued. Thanks.

[perfectstorm]

You can't clean an oven to the same standard as a good professional job. They unscrew the thing and take all the panels out, clean all the areas I'd never dare to - it looks brand new. I like the Lakeland gel too, but it's nothing like a pro clean. Once every couple of years IMO it's worth every penny, if you have a good oven you want to take care of, and you hire someone really good. I really don't see that paying to look after expensive things is a waste. And I am mean about most expenses - our TV is several years old, has none of the bells and whistles, and works perfectly well so we have no intention of replacing it until we have to, for example.

Really worrying that he thinks expenses you want should be denied, and gadgets he does are fine - especially as he's lying about it. I don't like it when women do the same thing, either. A marriage is meant to be about sharing. I hope you can talk this through properly, and he does in fact clean the oven to at least a good domestic standard!

[ENormaSnob]

Kill him with his 80quid penknife.

I would be livid.

[VegetariansTasteLikeChicken]

I don't think it's faux shock, I would never have realised that they take the ovens apart to clean etc, ONly ever heard of it on MN. SO I would assume hour or twos work at what every you pay a cleaners hourly rate. With them using a gel thing

[enriquetheringbearinglizard]

I think everyone's getting a bit sidetracked with the various issues.

DrMaybe, I started the Lakeland Gel conversation, I think it's good. Depends of course on how long since the oven was cleaned and how big a job it is to get it to a good standard. Have always been pleased with it here.

If I had rental properties though of course I'd get someone else to do the job and charge it up as a tax deductible expense.

If I was pregnant and my DH saw a professional oven clean as an unnecessary expense, whilst at the same time treating himself to an even more costly gift, then I'd be pretty miffed.

If I was in the above situation and me and DH agreed we needed to cut our spending then I'd shop for the gel and hand it across to DH with a winning smile and offer to make him a lovely cuppa when he'd finished

To me being frugal means doing jobs that you can do yourself rather than paying for the labour and not splashing out on unnecessary items no matter how covetable they are. If the state of the oven warranted it, then I'd tell DH that a professional oven clean was money well spent (and still buy him the gel to keep it spic and span)

[Elliptic5]

It's the lying that's worrying IMHO, never mind the new tool or the oven cleaning.

[enriquetheringbearinglizard]

Do you know I'd dipped back into the thread and forgotten about the lie got too sidetracked, but the OP and her DH both know about that and that it's just out and out wrong.

[Topseyt]

The Lakeland gel is good. Paint it on, leave it for a couple of hours and then wipe it off.

The wiping off phase does take a while, but isn't too bad.

I also found none of the acrid smell which comes with other oven cleaning products. If I were going to clean an oven myself again then this gel would be my choice.

[chrome100]

People clean their ovens?

[HansieMom]

The tool is a Leatherman. Unless it is a fake one. There is one version of it that is small and fits on a key ring. They are made in Portland, Oregon. I used to live near Portland.