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AIBU?

Well I do have a child and it is a Tuesday afternoon...

141 replies

BridgetJonesPants25 · 10/02/2014 08:49

A friend invited me to meet her tomorrow afternoon as she is off work.

I was quite happy to get the invite as I haven't seen her in some time. Explained I would (obviously) have DD with me and did she fancy a late lunch?

I got a response saying she would rather just meet for a couple of glasses of wine (it is at 2pm). I have no problem having a glass of wine or 2 with food but it really doesn't sit too comfortably with me to just go a meet to share a bottle of wine. It means taking my DD somewhere strapping her into a highchair and then expect her to sit there for a couple of hours with a colouring book or jigsaw. She 2.5 and to be honest it'll be bloody boring for her.

Have replied saying that it would be a bit boring for DD but I know a place we could get coffee close to where I was going to meeting her, it has a play corner for the kids which means we could catch up (like she wants) and DD can play. Win, win?

No apparently not. She has replied with "forget it".

I get that my friend doesn't have children and her idea of fun isn't going to soft play or going to the local farm so I wouldn't suggest it. AIBU to be pissed that she doesn't recognise that if she wants to meet during the week I will have DD with me and it isn't fair to expect my DD to sit quietly while I tuck into a bottle of wine chatting to my friend.

I am pretty pissed off that she neglects to accept that my life has changed. I can't do the things she wants me to do all the time. If she had sent a text saying "fancy a girly night out" I would have happily arranged for my Mum to babysit one night.

WIBU to just do as she said and "forget it" because I am annoyed or should I really go back and say something like "how about I sort a babysitter for 2-3 weeks time and we go out for a proper catch up?"

Also AIBU to not want to take my DD to the pub? (If I am I still wont change my mind to be honest but would be good to know)

OP posts:

Report

BridgetJonesPants25 · 10/02/2014 14:05

Oh and no it doesn't start with a D. Maybe we should set them up on a friendship date Lovecat they sound like they would get along like a house on fire.

OP posts:

fancyanotherfez · 10/02/2014 14:05

I wouldn't even respond to that, even though I'd be sorely tempted to have the last word! As said above, defriend and move on. She is being utterly selfish and completely unreasonable! Do you want someone like that in your or your DD's life? I had a friend who was a friend of mine for 25 years until I had y DS. She decided she couldn't tolerate my kids so we don't see each other anymore. I do think about her and wonder what she is up to, but my life is too busy to be wasted on people like that and so is yours. You'll make new friends!

RobotLover68 · 10/02/2014 14:07

yes, definitely don't respond - I was actually open mouthed at her 2nd response - who does she think she is?

She's not a friend, she's an emotional vampire - I got rid of one of those nearly a year ago and I haven't looked back (a 10 year friendship thrown away because she was a nasty, selfish bitch)

Move on and find new friends or reconnect with old friends

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 10/02/2014 14:10

Don't reply.

She's history.

Margene · 10/02/2014 14:17

Don't reply. Or do, but just with "Whatever".

Topaz25 · 10/02/2014 14:19

That last text from her was disgusting. She is not a friend, you and your daughter are better off without her.

Topaz25 · 10/02/2014 14:21

I mean seriously she suggested that you re-establish contact with your abusive alcoholic ex and leave your daughter with him so that you could meet at a convenient time for her?! What is wrong with her? She sounds self-obsessed. I am angry for you!

Piscivorus · 10/02/2014 14:32

I'm afraid I would respond to that.
I would say something along the lines of "Really? You would expect me to put my child at risk by leaving them with an alcoholic rather than you have to inconvenience yourself? I have made attempts to compromise for the sake of out friendship but it seems I will do better to forget it as you suggested."

She is not the kind of friend you need. I know it's a bit twee but the friends are for a reason, a season or a lifetime thing has a point. This one's season is over!

MrsKoala · 10/02/2014 14:41

I'd be so tempted to reply 'Go fuck yourself you self centred vapid cow. Everyone was right - you are a prick'

BakerStreet · 10/02/2014 14:42

it never ceases to amaze me how self centred some people can be. I think I have heard it all, then Bam, an example like this leaves me utterly Gobsmacked!
You are doing right by not responding to that, she's not worthy of a response.

But, If I wanted to be really childish and piss her off good and proper would respond with "Ha Ha!!"
Then give no further contact. Would really get her back up!

(But that's just the 12 year old in me wanting to get the last word, so probably not the best idea)

BakerStreet · 10/02/2014 14:48

Or if I was going to be truly horrid would respond,

"So now that we have established that I am a selfish cow and you are an utter cunt, no need to continue this friendship!"

Piscivorus · 10/02/2014 14:51

Or maybe just text "Forget it"

ladyquinoa · 10/02/2014 14:57

I would probably text back although I know you are not keen 'you want me to leave DD with an abusive alcoholic who doesn't love her?'

BridgetJonesPants25 · 10/02/2014 15:04

Stop it. I'm trying to take the highroad here

You lot are giving me ideas. Truth is I want to reply but anything I say will not possibly convey what I'm feeling toward her right now.

If only you could text an anthrax envelope...

OP posts:

pressingbuttons · 10/02/2014 15:13

The first and last thing to do with this errhem 'friend' is locate the 'Delete contact' button in your phone and press it! Life really is too short for that kind of crap. :-)

sublimecorpse · 10/02/2014 15:17

YANBU she's a cow. I love spending time with friends little ones!

She will realise how U she is being when she has kids.

Whatnamenext · 10/02/2014 15:20

Eugh. I hate people like that. What a bitch. What a horrible selfish bitch.

I would be so hurt with that "poor me' attitude. I'd think of a million responses but none of them would be quite right.

Belchica · 10/02/2014 15:21

at your "friend's" reply!!!

Ditch her now and dont lose sleep over it. She is very immature.

I don't want to be the one to tempt you to reply, because as others have said, best to just ignore...

...but if i caved in, it would be with a simple "Grow up X"

YouTheCat · 10/02/2014 15:23

Apparently the post office won't let you send Anthrax in the post.

She's a horrible, self-obsessed cow whose friend list will keep dwindling because of this.

I don't think you should dignify her second text with a response. There are enough expletives for a start.

Topaz25 · 10/02/2014 15:27

Is she friends with your ex? It sounded like it from her comment about how you should allow him contact. If she is don't put anything about him in writing to her because she will twist it and tell him.

I had terrible trouble once with a friend siding with my abusive ex and telling him I'd said things about him, he then threatened me with legal action! I hadn't done anything wrong and he didn't go through with it but I didn't need that stress!

Topaz25 · 10/02/2014 15:28

If do say anything just say you are disappointed that she would suggest leaving your DD with your ex when she knows the situation. But it's probably not worth saying anything because she won't listen. Just drop her.

IdaClair · 10/02/2014 15:29

If i wanted to go to the pub for lunch or wine or whatever, for however long, the dc would come with me and basically like it or lump it. Sure, I'd take things for them to do or might choose a place with a kids bit, all else being equal but I don't plan everything around my kids. I spend afternoons at the park with them, we do day trips etc, but it can't all be about them all of the time to the exclusion of anything else.

That is just me, though, and based on the premise of actually wanting to go. There's nothing wrong with being in a pub, what you drink is up to you.

I might be a Lone voice and I know your friend is wanting it a bit too much all her way, but if a friend I wanted to see invited me to something I wanted to go to, I would go and my toddler would go too.

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Topaz25 · 10/02/2014 15:30

IdaClair it's moved on a bit since then, read the last text her "friend" sent!

IdaClair · 10/02/2014 15:33

Sorry computer playing up and only just able to load pages 3 and 4 after reply.

treadheavily · 10/02/2014 15:33

Don't respond. You are 1000 x more mature than her and she has no place in your life.

You have enough challenges (sole parent, abusive ex)to contend with, you really mustn't apportion time or energy to this ghastly person who cares ot one jot for you. Meet me in the afternoon to drink wine. Really? What a fool. And frankly she is an absolute bitch.

Responding to her text will not help you feel better, there is a lot to be said for the digniied silence.

Say strong and put your energy into your dd and your real friends.

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