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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to not be angry at my 15yo skiving Pe due to her hating her legs and not wanting to wear the pe kit?

31 replies

carpieharp · 09/02/2014 21:00

Found out she hadn't turned up to PE for the last 4 lessons when she had always loved pe and sports. She told me now it's because she hates her legs and showing them with the short PE skorts,she's a size 8 to 10 and all muscle.
I took a soft approach as I'm worried about her self esteem issues but told her not to skive it anymore. Should I have taken a harder line with this?

OP posts:
Abbierhodes · 09/02/2014 21:02

No. Take the harder line if it happens again. Would the school consider allowing jogging bottoms? Is she year 11?

purplebaubles · 09/02/2014 21:02

I was this 15yr old. Looking at photos now, i realise how stupidly attractively slim I was. But compared to my peers, who had legs like sparrow legs, I was enormous!

Just to say, I understand how your daughter feels!

EduCated · 09/02/2014 21:02

You seem to have started a lot of threads about your DD and self esteem/body image issues tonight. Do you think they're all related?

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2014 21:03

Is the DD who said she's not going to eat for 10 days because she thinks she's fat?

Original poster
carpieharp · 09/02/2014 21:05

This is only the second thread about her. The first was my sister but yes I only just remembered this event after the whole thing with dd tonight deciding not to eat, didn't occur to me to go over the whole thing with the eating too

OP posts:
capsium · 09/02/2014 21:06

Is there not an option to wear track suit bottoms / footless tights with the shorts?

I would be surprised if not.

Original poster
carpieharp · 09/02/2014 21:07

There are tracksuit bottoms but they puff out and look anyone's legs look like sumo wrestler ones, she hates wearing these even more.

OP posts:
capsium · 09/02/2014 21:11

Show her these pictures

www.boredpanda.com/athlete-body-types-comparison-howard-schatz/

Lots of body shapes out there. I bet her thighs are not the biggest.

Topaz25 · 09/02/2014 21:12

The school should allow her to wear jogging bottoms. They would have to allow this for Muslim pupils who are not supposed to show skin so they should have the option for other pupils too. Talk to her teacher privately about her body image issues so they are aware. Is she being bullied at school? The issue goes beyond PE. See if the GP can refer her to CAMHS- Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services. www.camhscares.nhs.uk/
www.b-eat.co.uk/ has information and support for eating disorders.

Topaz25 · 09/02/2014 21:12

Sorry crossposted about the tracksuit bottoms.

specialsubject · 09/02/2014 21:14

hating legs that work is something that needs to be sorted.

if the 'thigh gap' crap comes up, then she also needs serious help.

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2014 21:15

So what was she doing while the others did PE?

AgentZigzag · 09/02/2014 21:15

She shouldn't be skiving, but I don't blame her doing everything she can to get out of something she loaths.

I know you have to learn to get through things you don't like doing, but school is chock-a-block with them. It can be humiliating (whether other people think you should be worrying or not) getting used to the new body you've got, bits and bobs jiggling about in front of a group of your peers just waiting for a chance to pounce

She has got to do it, but don't be too hard on her, she's 15, plenty old enough to know what she wants.

Cranky01 · 09/02/2014 21:15

Years ago I used to have to wear a P.E Skirt, and gym knickers. I can't explain how much I hated it. I hated it more if I was on my period.

The classes were also mixed gender which made it worse. I used to take whole days off if there was a p.e lesson, particularly if it was a competitive lesson like rounders when everyone had to have a turn.

So no yanbu.

Original poster
carpieharp · 09/02/2014 21:18

Well she told me that when they were all doing PE she went and sat in this secluded place on the
floor behind the lockers which can't be seen by passers by,and did homework

OP posts:
JessePinkmanIsMine · 09/02/2014 21:20

Yeah. Your sister. Yeah.

AgentZigzag · 09/02/2014 21:20

They don't still have communal showers for after pe do they?

They were torture, telling the teacher I was on my period got me out of them for at least 8 weeks running Grin

Twats.

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2014 21:20

Then I'd be more annoyed that she managed to do this times without being found out.

I wouldn't be annoyed with her but only because she has body issues...according to the many threads about her.

Otherwise I'd tell her to wear the tracksuit bottoms and get on with it.

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2014 21:20

*4 times

Slipshodsibyl · 09/02/2014 21:21

www.bodygossip.org. This organization/ site is interesting. It deals with exactly these feelings and aims to help,children feel their bodies are good enough. It is intelligent and thoughtful and educates young people in ways in which marketing and the media distorts reality and profits from creating insecurity in young people. This helps a lot I think.

AgentZigzag · 09/02/2014 21:21

Did homework??

Grin

Did she think you were born yesterday Grin

Original poster
carpieharp · 09/02/2014 21:22

Yeah I may try a harder approach, mind when I was at school I'd try anything to get out,of.dreaded PE

OP posts:
Original poster
carpieharp · 09/02/2014 21:24

Yeah I may try a harder approach, mind when I was at school I'd try anything to get out,of.dreaded PE

OP posts:
Original poster
carpieharp · 09/02/2014 21:25

Thanks slips, i'll show it to her, I can't think of what else she would do sitting there for am hour and a half! On her phone most likely :p

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 09/02/2014 21:29

15 YOs are very inventive though, although you're probably right, she was probably playing on that very irritating flappy bird thing Hmm

I can feel myself tensing just thinking about it.