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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My husband threw the cat...

100 replies

fourcorneredcircle · 08/02/2014 20:18

My husband, who has until this day (eight years in) been generally calm and loving in a fit of rage threw the cat who he was holding on to the floor. The cat had done nothing wrong and my husband, was in fact, angry at me. The cat is fine and my husband is mortified and absolutely sorry - head in hands, "what have I done" etc.
I just can't help thinking about all of the times I've heard (or even said) if they can do it to an animal, they can do it to a person.

AIBU to be completely confused about how to feel towards him? Part of me feels anger, part of me feels apathy (towards him, not what he did) and part of me feels that I should, as there appears to be no lasting damage, move on.

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 09/02/2014 08:08

Cats have a reputation for "always landing on their feet" so it could well be that he thought the cat would not be harmed, as indeed it was not.

ComposHat · 09/02/2014 14:40

I think the op's husband was remarkably restrained for not giving her a gobfull back after the 'fucking do it now' comment.

That would have gone down like a rat sandwich with me.

The only pussy at issue here is the one the husband is being whipped with.

Logg1e · 09/02/2014 14:57

"pussy-whipped" is a god-awful concept Compos.

Imho.

ComposHat · 09/02/2014 14:59

Sorry logg1e, my love of a crap pun got the better of me and came before good taste and judgement.

Logg1e · 09/02/2014 15:08

Apology accepted! For what it's worth, I "liked" your rat sandwich analogy, if you know what I mean?

Juliaparker25 · 09/02/2014 15:09

Cats are spawn of the devil................

ComposHat · 09/02/2014 15:13

Cheers. logg1e

So julia you don't like cats, is it a source of upset that one was unharmed by this incident?

complexnumber · 09/02/2014 15:47

The poor man was tired and hungover, getting hassled

it's completely acceptable to throw an animal/ignore your ds if you've got a hangover

he was a bit of a dick - tired , hungry, hungover

Who said he had a hangover?

softlysoftly · 09/02/2014 16:49

I said he might Have at a guess. Regardless op was still ott.

hickorychicken · 09/02/2014 19:36

AIBU to find this thread funny Grin

Not the throwing of the cat (not a hulk hurl, just an irriatated cat dump) just the responses.
Id be more pissed off withe ignoring of the dc tbf.

hickorychicken · 09/02/2014 21:27

Clearly i am Grin

SinisterBuggyMonth · 09/02/2014 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wontletmesignin · 09/02/2014 22:18

If you often speak to him like that. Then maybe his time away from you made him realise how people speak to one another.

An eye opener for him maybe. I cant believe he is apologising and you arent

softlysoftly · 09/02/2014 23:58

The cat apology pushed me over the edge!

SinisterBuggyMonth · 11/02/2014 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FarmerSueTickle · 11/02/2014 14:43

You told him to 'fucking do it now!'??

Bloody hell. If my DH had said that to me he's have got one hell of a mouthful back - I'd probably have stormed out.

Topaz25 · 11/02/2014 16:46

I love cats. I am a crazy cat lady. Even I think apologising to the cat is ridiculous. A cat cannot actually understand a verbal apology. All he needs to do is be nice to the cat next time and feed them their favorite food and all will be forgiven.

It doesn't sound like he was trying to hurt the cat, just move her more roughly than usual. My DH, who is normally an animal loving softy, did this once and felt awful afterwards, the cat was fine.

Rather than focusing on the cat incident, it's more important to address the underlying issues. Your DH was rude but telling him to "fucking do it now" was very rude.

softlysoftly · 11/02/2014 17:54

Sinister Lets face it, the cat wouldn't accept the apology.

The cat hates the people.

All cats hate their people.

If cats looked like toads with a cat attitude we would be living in a cat free land.

Maybe if he took the cat to the anger management classes?

No still think the cat would hate them

SinisterBuggyMonth · 12/02/2014 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Megrim · 12/02/2014 13:29

So this probably isn't the right time to mention my DS's series of experiments to establish if it's true that a cat always lands on its feet then?

Fortunately he has decided not to progress to testing Schrodinger's theory.

Pigsmummy · 12/02/2014 14:22

I think that he is having an affair, has deep roooted issues with his family and envies the cat for it's ability to lead a simple life.

ormirian · 12/02/2014 14:32

I thought you were going to say he threw it out of the window! I lvoe my cats but I really don't think it sounds all that bad. HOWEVER refusing to talk to his son is not OK - 'I'm sorry I am a bit knackered atm, I'll tell you all about it later' is all that was needed.

He might be tired or hungover perhaps but it sounds odd to me. I'd be curious to know what went on on the holiday.

ormirian · 12/02/2014 14:34

BTW what is an irritated cat dump? Is it the poo that comes from a feline anus with a rash?

GatoradeMeBitch · 12/02/2014 15:05

I really wouldn't worry OP. When you've both had time to cool off, ask if anything is bothering him.

But don't worry about the cat, or that 'if they can do it to an animal' saying. If he had punched the cat or thrown it against a wall, there would be a problem. The fact that he bothered to turn the cat the right way up before throwing her to the carpet shows he didn't want to hurt her.

Megrim · 12/02/2014 16:55

"Irritated cat dump" is when your cat is mildly pissed off with you and has a dirty protest to teach you a lesson.

At least it is in my house.

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