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AIBU?

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Original poster

Party dress hubby and lie ins!

81 replies

CookieDoughKid · 08/02/2014 13:32

Hubby took kids out this morning. Which was fab as I could have lie in without having to get up to get kids up for breakfast etc. Discovered that hubby let my 6yo wear her brand new designer party dress made of silk to go BIKE riding. It's a beautiful dress gifted by a friend, the kind you wear for special occasions. Grrr!! Would I be unreasonable to make a deal out of this?

OP posts:
VikingVagine · 08/02/2014 14:14

Unless the dress came down to her ankles it wouldn't be dangerous. It's only a dress ffs.

Catsmamma · 08/02/2014 14:17

yabu...

and coming over as more than a bit controlling.
She'll have put the dress on because she loved it, he won't have imagined for one minute it was silk. Might have crossed his mind it might have been unsuitable for cycling but he probably wanted to get out of the house and leave you to your lie in.

Don't come over all dictator for the sale of a handmedown dress.

Catsmamma · 08/02/2014 14:17

sake....not sale. damned shitty keyboard.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 08/02/2014 14:21

LOL :o

When a man is controlling a woman is not allowed to leave the house and has no money of her own.

When a woman is controlling a man gets told he's a fucking eejit for putting a silk dress of a child for going to the park.

What's feminism again?

Caitlin17 · 08/02/2014 14:32

Since when was wearing a skirt on a cycle a problem?

VikingVagine · 08/02/2014 14:44

Apparently it doesn't stick to some people's ideas of what is right.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 08/02/2014 14:44

I'm with join. My dh is a very intelligent man and so I assume that he will make sensible choices with our children. Sometimes he does something idiotic - as do I - as we are human. But dressing a child sensibly for the activity they are doing is not rocket science.

We have always let dd choose her own clothes but only as far as that is sensible.

CheckpointCharlie · 08/02/2014 14:47

seriously stupidity issues Grin

JoinYourPlayfellows · 08/02/2014 14:50

Since when was wearing a skirt on a cycle a problem?

Never.

Since when was putting a girl child in a silk party dress to go out cycling in the park on a cold, muddy February morning not a totally fucking stupid idea?

Was anyone else who went to the park similarly attired?

Did everyone wear their best party clothes?

Did the husband put on his best silk shirt?

VikingVagine · 08/02/2014 14:51

There was a little girl dressed as a dragon in our park this morning, no one batted an eyelid. I really don't see the difference. It's dressing up, it's fun, they're only clothes.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 08/02/2014 14:52

Caitlin Depends on the dress. Dd has some "functional" dresses that are fine for bike riding. She also has other dresses that are not as the amount of material means that the chances of it getting caught in the wheel is Too high for comfort.

Generally tights are thinner than trousers so I prefer her.to wear trousers in case she falls off.

ScarlettMantleplume · 08/02/2014 15:00

I think the only thing you need to do is to point out to him that it is an expensive party dress and not really suited to a bike ride. To be fair, he probably thought it was a dressing-up dress as opposed to a 'real' one.

And it is quite possible to cycle in a dress! I've never caught one in the spokes yet. Hmm

TheRealAmandaClarke · 08/02/2014 15:04

Did it get trashed? Hopefully not.
That was a poor choice of clothing.
I too am surprised that anyone thinks you should have to put it."away" so he doesn't use it for inappropriate occasions (keep it in the laundry room where he would never look??? Confused)
Besides, at 6 yo she might easily get 2 years wear out of that lovely dress. But not if it's torn and covered in mud or grass stains.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 08/02/2014 15:06

Make a big deal? No
Remind him that it's special and not for bike riding.

harriet247 · 08/02/2014 15:08

I think yanbu but it is soooo sweet to think of your dd mincing around looking gorgeous at the park :) my dad used to let me wear whatever I liked when I went out with him (flint stones fancy dress, tiger costume, batman costume. ..) im sure my mum was baffled but I cherish the memories of it.

GarlicReverses · 08/02/2014 15:16

Afraid I'm another YANBU but aww! There were three kids in Aldi last night, wearing inappropriate gear that was clearly special to them. Come to think of it, I used to pince about in my rich great-aunt's silk ballgown cast-offs (the fact I wish I had them now is neither here nor there.)

DH was wrong. Point this out. Then let it go :)

YABU to say "hubby", though! Please don't!

GarlicReverses · 08/02/2014 15:17
  • pince about = typo, but I quite like it Grin
HorrorCow · 08/02/2014 15:27

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, life is too short to keep clothes for best. But I would be telling dh that if the dress is muddy, he can take it to the dry cleaners, and if it is ripped, he can either fix it or replace it. I'd also be pointing out to your 6 year old that if she wears a posh frock to ride her bike and spoils it, she has to wear jeans and a t-shirt to the next party because she'll have no party dress.

AmIthatWintry · 08/02/2014 15:31

Jeez, so she wore a dress to the park.
DD used to dress up in a ballerina dress, tiara and trainers to go shopping

Clothes are made to be worn

And I would suggest punctuation in the thread title. I can't be alone in wondering why your "hubby" was wearing a party dress

perplexedpirate · 08/02/2014 15:33

Life is just too short to get worked up over shit like this.
As long as he was warm enough, DS could wear a tuxedo, a fairy outfit or a wetsuit to cycle round the park if he wanted to.
It actually sounds enormous fun. I'm off to get my wedding dress on and do a few circuits.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 08/02/2014 15:39

I run around muddy parks and through forests in 3-4 inch heels.I don't bloody care.

Jeez,she wit her dress,she probably felt great and had fun,that's all that matters

ducks from Muppets who have an issue with a female feeling great wearing a pretty dress

JoinYourPlayfellows · 08/02/2014 15:42

Life is just too short to get worked up over shit like this.

Yup.

It sure is.

Which is why it's worth making sure that the person you are married to has the sense that they were born with and doesn't make you regret your lie ins by deliberately doing things they know will piss you off.

Pigeonhouse · 08/02/2014 15:48

Am with Join and others. One parent (usually the mother ) does not need to feel gratitude that the other parent (usually the father) does some parenting of their shared children. Both parents should be able to expect the other one to enforce appropriate clothes for weather and activity.

The 'you should be grateful he looks after them for ten minutes every second Tuesday while you scrub the floors' posters are strange.

As are those who appear to think that possessing testicles means you can't see the inappropriateness of a silk frock on a six year old for a muddy, February bike ride.

frenchfancy · 08/02/2014 15:49

When I suggested the dress should be put away I didn't mean so the DH couldn't find it, I meant so the DD couldn't find it. My DD (7) has been chosing her own clothes and getting herself dressed for years.

I agree with joinyourplayfellows feminism is not about controlling our DHs.

parakeet · 08/02/2014 15:55

I think people are crosser about the pathetic 1950s attitudes to parenting shown by the posters on here than the OP's original complaint. The implication is we should be so grateful that hubbie is doing his share of the childcare on a Saturday morning, well, a spoiled party dress is simply "the price we pay".