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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, or is he... over a drunk photo

82 replies

bloomingbloom · 08/02/2014 10:39

I have been ' seeing' this man, for about a month, keeping it casual. More of a fling than a long term thing.

We have had sex, and have rough plans to see each other sunday.

I went out last night, came home, and in my drunken state decided to text him a pic of my legs, in bed, crossed, from the thigh down, with the caption ' wish you were here'

i got a reply from him, but it was telling me i needed to stop being rude. Which was a bit odd seeing as he had sent me a rude pic on monday

anwyay, i said sorry, i had just been messing about and didnt mean to offend, and he said he was sober and tired and felt awkward and unsure generally.

I said that its fine and i was going to slink off to recover my rejected ego.

and then he said that he didnt mean it like that, he liked the pic but doesnt like anything.

i dont even know what that means.

i feel awfully embarassed, but then think, well. he sent a pic on monday. it was only legs, you can see more on a night out.

so, am i an awful slut or is he just a dickhead?

OP posts:
ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 08/02/2014 14:17

eh?

has he got you confused with someone else he's dating?

Otherwise, it's either a) not a great compliment that he's forgotten shagging you! or b) disturbing that he shags so many people he can't keep track! Grin

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA · 08/02/2014 14:22

He sounds strange. You are right yo just forget about him. Its already sexual do no idea what he is on about.

Probably married and the wife is over his shoulder Grin

SnapChat is great for these sort of pics

Original poster
bloomingbloom · 08/02/2014 14:26

really not married.
ive been to his flatshare. no woman would put up with his bedroom.

We are friends on fb and stuff.....

i dont think he was shagging anyone else, he said a few weeks back he was only seeing me, but then, you never know.

doesnt matter in any case.

OP posts:
Hissy · 08/02/2014 14:26

What the heck?

He's dating a shit load of women if he can't work out who he's shagging and who he isn't.

Delete that prick's number, delete and block him from FB too.

Topaz25 · 08/02/2014 14:27

He sounds very confused and possibly has problems. I think you did the right thing to break it off. Cancel your subscription you don't need his issues.

sebsmummy1 · 08/02/2014 14:34

Oh god not another one of these 'confused' men.

I suspect there is more going on behind the scenes here. It seems like he wants to make it clear to you that these sort of unsolicited photos are unwelcome, I would guess because he might also be seeing someone else and wants to make sure nothing damning could be found on his phone.

The other explanation can be that he only wants you to act slutty or sexy when he dictates. Otherwise he wants you wholesome and chaste. Red flag potentially controlling behaviour.

penguinplease · 08/02/2014 14:41

You should tell him you put it out to vote and let everyone on this website compare his photo to your photo for an opinion on his reaction.
He sounds odd. Remove from your life!

MollyHooper · 08/02/2014 14:45

Rude? Hmm He's being weird, get rid.

Flings are supposed to be fun.

whomadeyougod · 08/02/2014 14:56

send another txt saying sorry that pic wasnt meant for you , then never speak to him again , leave him wondering .

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 08/02/2014 18:01

he does not usually date women? seems confused to me. hats off to you as you sound an independent strong woman, go girl

ForgettableTampon · 08/02/2014 18:06

yes what everyone else is saying

StepAway, I your post especially

Pigeonhouse · 08/02/2014 18:08

Good call, OP. Does he have amnesia or something? It seems very strange that the idea of things 'getting sexual messes with his head' when you've already slept together several times, and he sent you a photograph of his appendage???

zeezeek · 08/02/2014 18:24

Well done you! DH sent me a cock pic once - when he was away at a conference and totally trashed out of his mind and, even though I'd known that particular cock for many years - it was still a bit Hmm to see it there, on my phone!!!

softlysoftly · 08/02/2014 18:33

None of anything he has texted makes any sense Confused

Doesn't sound like its worth working out, hope you find someone a bit less odd next time.

Original poster
bloomingbloom · 08/02/2014 18:54

i couldnt help but respond to his message, as it made no sense.

I said i was very confused, since as far as i was aware, we had already had sex a fair few times, i asked if he had forgotten, or if he was shagging that many people he had got me confused with someone else.

he finally replied
'im not shagging anyone, im confused and cant do this, sorry'

i just replied: ' yes, i can tell'

removed off all social media, no point beating round the bush.

OP posts:
StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 08/02/2014 19:03

Blush thank you forgettable tampon

Quinteszilla · 08/02/2014 19:07

He is an idiot with double standards.
You say you are pleased he has not sent you a cock pick. He sends you a cock pic. YOU send him one of your legs, and he says you must stop being rude. Hmm Idiot.

Glad he is dumped.

rabbitlady · 08/02/2014 19:08

he had a woman with him and told her you were a colleague.

IshouldhavemarriedEwanMcGregor · 08/02/2014 19:13

Sorry but this thread is making me laugh with all the 'he's a knob', 'he's a dick', 'what a cock' given the subject matter...

Deffo double standards - fuck him (no pun etc etc)

But can I ask does any woman genuinely find it anything other bizarre/laughable/alarming/off putting if I man sends them a picture of his penis???

I'm not a prude well I am a bit but honestly a picture of a penis is a turn on?

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA · 08/02/2014 19:53

Nothing sexy about a penis. One eyed bald molerats..

Littleen · 08/02/2014 22:48

Not heard of a man complaining to get a lovely legs picture before!

Pigeonhouse · 08/02/2014 23:32

Is he twins? Or has a split personality, and you had sex with the 'other' personality, so this one's genuinely confused, because he thinks you just went for a drink once...?

Original poster
bloomingbloom · 09/02/2014 09:34

:) @ is he twins.

I didnt reply to his text and got another one later on about not wanting to hurt me, but not wanting things to get sexual.

i did reply with ; it was just legs, i was drunk and horny, it happens, lighten up'

we are clearly no match :)

OP posts:
BeverleyMoss · 09/02/2014 09:46

He was with someone else and is covering up, insisting to her it hasn't been sexual with you.

pictish · 09/02/2014 09:51

Either way...he's made it perfectly clear you are not wanted, so that's that. Do not degrade yourself by entering into any dialogue with him ever again. Do not argue that is already sexual, because it makes it seem as though you are offended by his denial.
It is obvious to me that he thinks you want it to continue, and he's letting you down gently or whatever...
Just ignore him. No more protesting the truth. It's only making you look like you're grasping at straws.

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