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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, or is he... over a drunk photo

82 replies

bloomingbloom · 08/02/2014 10:39

I have been ' seeing' this man, for about a month, keeping it casual. More of a fling than a long term thing.

We have had sex, and have rough plans to see each other sunday.

I went out last night, came home, and in my drunken state decided to text him a pic of my legs, in bed, crossed, from the thigh down, with the caption ' wish you were here'

i got a reply from him, but it was telling me i needed to stop being rude. Which was a bit odd seeing as he had sent me a rude pic on monday

anwyay, i said sorry, i had just been messing about and didnt mean to offend, and he said he was sober and tired and felt awkward and unsure generally.

I said that its fine and i was going to slink off to recover my rejected ego.

and then he said that he didnt mean it like that, he liked the pic but doesnt like anything.

i dont even know what that means.

i feel awfully embarassed, but then think, well. he sent a pic on monday. it was only legs, you can see more on a night out.

so, am i an awful slut or is he just a dickhead?

OP posts:
Topaz25 · 08/02/2014 11:00

You've only been seeing him a month and he's acting weird and literally sending you mixed messages! Don't waste any more time with him.

Original poster
bloomingbloom · 08/02/2014 11:02

hes not married and yes hes single.

and i wouldnt care if anyone saw the pic i sent as it wasnt explict in any way. It was my legs, crossed, in my bed. You would see more on a night out,or even just walking around in the summer.

i think hes being a dick and have no intention of seeing him, let alone chatting to him ever again.

but just wanted to check :)

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 08/02/2014 11:03

He's being a massive weirdo, tell him his double standards are odd and don't see him again

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 08/02/2014 11:03

Yes. Dump this one.

You said you don't like cock pics. So he sent you one. Because he took that as a bit of a challenge, hmm if I send her one I want her to be fine with it? It's a bit pushy-boundary, isn't it? You could just about excuse it if, when you decide to act in a similar raucous, ha I feel like a joke kind of way, he responds in kind -'hee hee you're crazy' etc.

But oh no. When you take the initiative in this way, when he hasn't sanctioned it first, it's very much not ok. You are 'rude'. He doesn't like it. He tries to explain away the grumpiness, but the fact remains that you acting spontaneously and being uninhibited pissed him off. There's an undertone of 'I don't like you acting sluttily'. And even more of an undertone of 'I'll decide what the tone of this relationship is, not you'. But it's fine for him to send you porn. And all you did was send a pic of your legs.

In three months, this one is going to be telling you what to wear and sulking when your mates have a night out whilst simultaneously planning long stag weekends with the boys.

Dump!!!

Ishouldbesolucky · 08/02/2014 11:04

It was a pic of her legs nothing to be ashamed of. Op he sounds like he is a complete tool or he is married

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 08/02/2014 11:04

Run a mile from him, seriously.

YouTheCat · 08/02/2014 11:05

I think there's a very good reason why he's single.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 08/02/2014 11:05

X-post!

Text: 'Sorry love, I don't do double standards. Best you toddle off.'

Original poster
bloomingbloom · 08/02/2014 11:07

i dont even think it warrants an end text.

im just not going to talk to him again.

OP posts:
Caitlin17 · 08/02/2014 11:08

OP good decision.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 08/02/2014 11:10

Beware..I think he will start apologising and pursuing you fiercely. Standard script.

Birdsgottafly · 08/02/2014 11:12

I agree with all the above.

I think that the fact that you've got to question yourself whether you are "an awful slut", means his picked you (his victim) well.

I hate the use of the word Slut, especially when it just means "a woman who enjoys sex, as much as the man that she is having it with".

If that made you a slut, what did his actions of sending a Cock picture make him?

Nanny0gg · 08/02/2014 11:17

He sounds deeply unpleasant.

Original poster
bloomingbloom · 08/02/2014 11:18

oh, i dont for a second think im an awful slut :)

uninhibited, yes.
Bit of a show off... yes
:)

slut, fuck no.

im not a victim in any way shape or form.

OP posts:
diddl · 08/02/2014 11:18

"We had been laughing about why men do it, and i had said i was pleased that he hadnt. so he did it as a joke and it was funny."

See, I don't get why that's funny tbh.

If you say that you're pleased that they haven't done something, & then they do it, how is that funny?

Anyway, I agree that he's not worth the bother.

ApocalypseThen · 08/02/2014 12:50

Glad you've decided to give him some space. Let him keep it.

KissesBreakingWave · 08/02/2014 12:56

Yeah, that's weird. I get 'wish you were here' messages from best beloved all the time, they're fine and lovely (and generally I wish i WAS there) and a picture of her legs would be a nice addition. The correct response to what you sent would have been either poetic or filthy. Or both, but that takes talent.

lifesgreatquestions · 08/02/2014 13:00

Weird guy, maybe he has separate ideas about what's acceptable for men and women to do. Love your strength and resilience OP!

TheZeeTeam · 08/02/2014 13:02

He feels awkward but not too awkward to send you a photo of his penis?! Weirdo.

VoyageDeVerity · 08/02/2014 13:04

He's playing around with you!

Original poster
bloomingbloom · 08/02/2014 13:12

yes, i know he is.

i dumped hima few weeks ago, things re started, then he went odd again after saying we should see how it goes.

Has spent all week liking my stuff on fb and other places where he has added me....

keeps chatting to me.

yet when i sent that, he went odd.

i thought maybe he was confused, but now i think hes just a dick.

and i really cant be arsed.

im toying with the idea of sending a pitty reply, but im not even sure its worth it and silence might be better.

OP posts:
mummytowillow · 08/02/2014 13:16

He sent a cock pic but was offended at a legs pic! Confused

He's using you get rid

BrokenToeOuch · 08/02/2014 13:23

I would have dumped anyone who sent me a cock pic. What an egotistical twat! Bleurgh.

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay · 08/02/2014 13:33

You've done the right thing OP - no question.

Original poster
bloomingbloom · 08/02/2014 14:15

i sent a dumping text. Not very good at not saying something.

he replied, and i quote' i dont know where to put myself in terms of anything becoming sexual between us, it messes with my head' and then further on in the same message ' i like hanging out with you but dont want to risk it becoming sexual'

i did respond. saying ' it already did. more than once'

just confirms ive done the right thing.

OP posts:
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