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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think nearly 4 is still too young for school nursery?

112 replies

Slightlyneuroricnat · 07/02/2014 18:03

Always considered myself lucky in that my daughter wouldn't be starting school nursery until nearly 4 as her birthday is September but as its nearing the sick feeling still isn't shifting.
Aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
Slightlyneuroricnat · 07/02/2014 18:31

No taster sessions
It's a school nursery, I've never hear of one this way that offers taster sessions :(

OP posts:
bobblewobble · 07/02/2014 18:36

My son is a September baby and started school nursery the January after his birthday. He did nearly two years of nursery and was reading books by the last term of nursery. He loved it. He was also learning in a different language to home speaking. He is now 5 and started full time reception in September and can read books for 7 year olds and is doing very well in his English reading to.

I always worried how he would cope. All children are different but my son certainly thrived at school nursery.

pigletmania · 07/02/2014 18:37

Yabu your dd will be absolutely fine, stop worrying

YouStayClassySanDiego · 07/02/2014 18:40

I work in Early Years, 4 is fine and she'll thrive I work with young 3 year olds who really are too young, well some anyway.

This is about you letting go, isnt it?

bishbashboosh · 07/02/2014 18:49

Not at all too young!! My dd started at 3 and adored it, just a couple of hours a day helped in every way.

maddening · 07/02/2014 18:52

it'll be nice for her to start school knowing a few other dc too - it could ease her in nicely. Start a few mornings a week - and make plans to do stuff for you when she is there - you could go for a swim or get your hair done or meet someone for coffee - keep yourself busy and it'll fly by.

maddening · 07/02/2014 18:56

ps ds started preschool at 2yrs and 4 mths full time as I had to go back to work he loves it and they do loads of stuff and go on walks etc if I wash't going to work I would definitely use that time to do a few nice things and all the cleaning etc so my time with ds would be just me and him time.

hiccupgirl · 07/02/2014 18:58

It's a long way off yet and she will change a lot by then. And at least you're not in the situation of her having to start proper just after being 4 like August born children.

At very nearly 4 most children cope well with being away from their parents doing fun activities tailored for their age group for only 3 hours a day.

breatheslowly · 07/02/2014 19:02

YABU. My DD is the same age and happily goes to nursery for 8 hours a day and has done for years (actually it was 10 hours a day until recently). Admittedly it is a nursery school, rather than a school nursery, but my DD's nursery goes right up to school age and my DD is in the pre school room.

I am far more concerned about how she will react when her friends go onto reception and she can't join them because she was born a few days too late. I am confident that my DD would be fine starting primary school in September, rather than having another year of nursery. Though I know that it is better for her to be one of the oldest at school.

Is there something about your DD that makes you concerned? Would a chat with a HV help?

TheOnlySeven · 07/02/2014 19:05

Legally you don't have to send her at all, it's entirely down to your choices and circumstances. She has to receive a full time education from the term after her fifth birthday, it doesn't have to be at school though.

Original poster
Slightlyneuroricnat · 07/02/2014 19:34

It probably is about me letting go, that and trusting people with her I suppose.
They are strangers after all and this is my first child who has only ever been in the care of me and my husband.
She's a very bright little thing, no issues apart from her speech sometimes isn't very clear but seems the same for most kids aged 3 - 3 1/2

OP posts:
scantilymad · 07/02/2014 20:30

Oh that's a shame re tester sessions. Ours is pfb too but the nursery do let new joiners have two two hour sessions. It is part of an independent school though so not sure what the "norm" is.

maillotjaune · 07/02/2014 20:53

Our state school does 'settling in' sessions for 3 days in a row, 2 hours each at the end of the term before starting. Was at the Children's Centre next door as they can't shoe horn several extra children into nursery.

Although my first thought was to just say 'get on with it' actually you don't have to go to school nursery do you? I would just be wary of basing the decision on you feeling it's too soon for you rather than what might be fun for your child.

ReallyTired · 07/02/2014 21:00

YABU! Most children start school nursery at a lot younger than nearly four and honestly they are fine. Dd was 3 years and 3 months and I believe she was more than ready. In fact some children start full reception just after their fourth birthday.

School nursery mostly playing. It is good for a child to have a chance to develop their social skills before they start full time school.

deakymom · 07/02/2014 21:07

YANBU your baby is growing up its totally normal to feel this way xx

Whatsthatnoise · 07/02/2014 21:12

My dd started preschool at 3 years 7months and I was like you totally terrified she was fine, however she could have went to school at 4 years 7 months and I knew she wasn't ready for full time school. She'll start school this august at 5years 7months and I know she is ready and we are both really looking forward to it.

It's hard to let them go but we have to eventually and they benefit massively from their time at preschool.

wishful75 · 07/02/2014 21:12

A private nursery for your free 15 hours is possible. We did this as we felt dd was too young for a school nursery.

Private ones are a lot more flexible, better hours, less formal etc. in my area at least so I think its a good alternative

surromummy · 07/02/2014 21:20

my dd has been at nursery initially one day a week at 2.6 and then two days at about 3. she sometimes gets upset going, still has a 2hr midday nap and has only just been potty trained. she is a late july baby and supposed to start school this sept when she will be 4.1. I feel she'll be too young so I haven't applied for a school place, plan to keep her on at nursery(they are apparently entitled to early yrs funding till 5).

WillowB · 07/02/2014 21:45

In response to the post above I think it's a little unfair to label school nurseries as 'formal'. Yes school nurseries may teach phonics and numbers etc but so do many private nurseries. All nurseries must follow the EYFS.
The advantages are that a school nursery will more than likely be better funded & resourced than a private nursery and will have transition arrangements to help the children settle into school.

PogoBob · 07/02/2014 21:47

DD is a August baby so was 3 years and 2 weeks old when she started last Septmber. I was really unsure and almost didn't send her but she has blossomed and now loves going.

When DD started her speech wasn't brilliant and she was still having some issues with toilet training but it really has been great for her.

She also had been at home full time with only me, DH or PIL looking after her so totally get where you coming from.

2tiredtocare · 07/02/2014 21:51

4 year olds don't HAVE to start reception, it's not compulsory until 5

MauriceMinor · 07/02/2014 21:57

Yabu. It's 3 hours. You'll be with her from midday till bedtime every day - that's a LOT of mummy time.

grumpyoldbat · 07/02/2014 22:00

I went to nursery at 4, it was fine.

Dd 2 will still be 4 when she starts school (Scottish system).

I think it's natural to be nervous about your baby starting school/nursery but they're generally fine.

maddening · 07/02/2014 22:01

they won't be strangers after a week - she'll have friends, get invites to birthday parties and if you like the nursery school and the staff she'll be fine and you will too.

PatriciaHolm · 07/02/2014 22:02

Why?

Is your username meant to be slightlyneurotic, and are you a little bit that way inclined?

Of course, your DC doesn't have to go. But they should be plenty old enough to cope if you do send them.

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