Driving Alone At Night - Harassment - Anyone Else?

[LessMissAbs]

Tonight, while driving through roadworks on a motorway with a speed limit of 50mph, I was tailgated by a car with its full beam on. Really close tailgating. Smaller, less powerful car than mine so when I accelerated back up to national speed limit, it got left behind. It then caught up and tailgated again. Went on for miles. Eventually I slowed down to about 40mph, they were forced to overtake, and I continued to drive slowly so they didn't follow me home or find out where I lived. I'm pretty sure I was targeted because even in the dark, they noticed I was a lone woman driver (there were 3 young males in the car).

This has happened to me a few times. Has anyone else experienced it? I once had a much worse incident but want to see if other people have had similar experiences before going into that.

[splasheeny]

Notyummy I totally agree.

4x4 drivers tend to be arses too.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Its the person who is at fault when tailgating, not the make of car.

I have rarely been intimidated by tailgaters and most of them are just bloody annoying arseholes who like to intimidate women drivers. I have been really anxious for my own safety only one time in such an incident.

Like the idea of the blue plastic bowl and torch!.

[parkin2010]

Indicate over and let them get past. Not worth them being up ur backside for 40 miles letting them drive like a dick in your space x

[WitchWay]

I had a nasty experience when I was driving with my 6/52 old son in the car. A car wouldn't pull out to let me onto the motorway from the slip lane - not much other traffic - he could easily have moved over but kept trying to stay level with me till I had to slow down or run out of slip lane. I tucked in behind him at a sensible distance & he slammed on the brakes forcing me to brake hard & the baby seat shunted forward - I had strapped the baby to the seat but not the seat to the car I'd had a C/S & had only been driving for a few days, baby brain & sleep deprivation. Awful but could have been much worse.

[letitburn]

To be fair, witch way, it's not the responsibility of the other drivers to get out of your way when you want to join the motorway...


Sounds very scary though.

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

I've had that Witchway Plenty of room for the car on the motorway to make room either slower of faster. Instead they shadowed my own movements until I ran out of slip road and had to jam the breaks on.
I agree it's not a motorway drivers job to get out of your way, but trapping you on a slip road until you emergency stop or crash is pretty Cuntish! It also leaves you with no slip road in front of you in which to accelerate so you have to pull out from a standstill. So frankly, doubly Cuntish!

[LongTailedTit]

I had similar just last night as it happens, several times in varying degrees, tho thankfully not stalking for miles - that hasn't happened to me since I was v young.
First lot last night was a car full of teenage boys in a little Clio type thing, tailgated me so close that I could only just see their lights under the rear window, then overtook me as a long stream of traffic was closing in the other way. Idiots.
Several other blokes in smart saloons tailgated me through short sections out of impatience and clearly trying to intimate me to move out of the way when I needed to be in that lane for junctions/roundabouts/slip lanes etc.

I drive a 10yo granny car Honda that is slow off the mark, so I accept that sometimes it could be irritating as they wait while my pathetic engine works it's way up to 60, but this is part and parcel of driving (and there's always someone slower than me) - I really don't understand why they feel the need to get right up my arse. It doesn't achieve anything.

DH had my Honda until recently and got v v sick of twatty blokes tailgating and trying to intimidate him. He now drives a much newer VW estate and feels like he's driving on a completely different planet - no one tries it on anymore. Utterly bizarre.

NB: one of my NCT mum mates is a terrible tailgater too - it's not purely a male affliction!

[MaureenMLove]

This has never happened to me, but I did hear something you might find useful.

If you suspect a drive to be harassing you, to the point that you are scared, this is the only time you can use your mobile phone to call the police. They will direct you to a place, where they will meet you and deal with the other driver.

This is from the Police trainer at a recent driver awareness course I attended - Don't ask!

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

4x4 drivers tend to be arses too.

Thanks for that.

[splasheeny]

I love, its just my personal experience.. I am talking about London here where their is no need to have a 4x4.

[WelshMoth]

I was a student in Univeristy college Cork in the late 90's and was returning back at the end of an easter break. Driving the long haul back to Pembroke dock from Cardiff on the M4 and I was tailgated from Bridgend to just outside a place called Llanelli - about 35 miles. i was catching a 3am ferry so was driving at a really late hour.

The journey was utterly terrifying. A ford escort drove so close I could see 2 make sillouhettes gesturing at me. There were no service stations in thos days and, I wasn't familiar with the towns and villages I passed. I was totally alone, dead of night, no mobiles, and was being chased by a car that tailgated, overtook, slammed on, so making me slam on, and drove alongside me.

I finally came to a services exit, took the exit but the services was in darkness, so I drove around this huge roundabout 3 times in the hope that I'd see a police car. The escort followed me each time and, by this point I was a sobbing wreck . In my panic, instead of rejoining the M4, I took the exit to the closed service station and drove into what can only be described as the most relief I have ever felt - about 4 huge goods lorries, lights on in their cabs, with the drivers out talking together and drinking from flasks. I rememeber my legs as jelly because I stalled the car about 20 metres from them, but I was out of the car and running, in floods of tears and stricken with fear.

I was so, so lucky because these lorry drivers saw my fear and cared. The escort had stopped at a distance but was revving its engine until 3 of the drivers started walking towards them. Fucking cowards sped off and I didn't see them again.

Thy gave me sweet tea and reassured me that the car was truly gone. Three of the four lorries were in convoy to Pembroke dock and I spent the next 40 miles driving between 2 of the lorries and feeling utterly, utterly safe. I remember driving into the most hideous of rain storms in St Clare's and still the lorries stuck with me until I reached the dock. I didn't find them onthe ferry, and I so wanted to thank them.

Sorry for the essay, but I've not told anyone this story before - I was home visiting my Dad because he'd suffered a brain haemorrhage so telling my folks the whole story would have caused them to worry about me, so I said nothing to no one. Bullying and harrassment on the roads is fucking terrifying so I hope this thread helps someone remember their road safety.

I only remember one detail - the driver of one of the lorries was in his late 50's, from Newcastle, and his name was Raymond. He had dark brown hair, side parting and hands like shovels. He'd be in his late 70's now, so if someone out there knows of him, give him a hug for me.

[Bellini81]

This sounds so scary, I would consider as mad as it sounds getting one of those passenger 'dummies' if this ever happened to me. But I am a loon and a nervous person anyway

[Twighlightsparkle]

Yes has happened to me, I used to drive 250 miles each Friday and then in reverse each Sunday.

Some scarey incidents of cat and mouse type things, b
Oohing scarey.

[deakymom]

this even happens to us when my husband is driving he has me and the three kids in a car and some foolish person tailgates lights on high beam one chap thought he would be cocky and stopped his car in front of us asked my husband for a fight hubby got out of car the bloke saw how much bigger he was dived in his car and screeched off down the road at that point the unmarked police car behind us flashed his lights and pulled him over for not wearing his seatbelt and speeding

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

Aww WelshMoth scary story but those lorry drivers were ace.

[salsmum]

Police advise that lone female travellers have a trilby style hat in the car when night driving to pull your collar up (tuck hair in) and put hat on ...this can give the 'illusion' of a male driver in the night lights and keep you safer.

[AnyFucker]

Gosh, WM, I just had a little sob at your story

[Iwillorderthefood]

I had an issue on the M4 a bright red car tailgating so close I was actually scared to make any manoeuvre in case we clipped each other. Finally got away from this car, and left the motorway for a break. A little while later I drove past a car remarkably similar to the one that had been hassling me. It was wrapped around the pointed area on an exit slip. I am pretty sure it was the same car.

[WelshMoth]

I've had a bit of a sob too, AF. This whole thread has brought it all back.

We all consider ourselves safe in our cars, but this thread just serves to remind us all that there are still those out there that have to threaten and intimidate us

[scallopsrgreat]

I've had a couple of these.

Once I was driving down a dual carriageway, very quiet and a car was reversing up it clearly wanting to get come off the slip road they had just missed. I also wanted to go up the same slip road and I flashed my lights to both indicate they were being dicks and that they were about to reverse into me. I then went up the slip road and they followed. They then tailgated me, pulled along side me and followed me all the way to the motorway on a suburban two lane road. At one point I was probably doing about 80 in a 40 zone to try and get away from them. Thankfully I was in a powerful car and they gave up the chase when I got on the motorway. I was shaking when I got to my destination.

The second time I overtook a guy on the motorway, pulled back in in front of him and then came off the motorway. He followed, pulled along side me and started shouting abuse at me. I ignored. He then pulled in behind me and followed me down the next motorway we were on. As I tried to get off at the junction I wanted, he tried to squeeze me between the lane and the barrier (there was no hard shoulder at this point). I braked and let him go in front. At the traffic lights at the roundabout I wound down my window and asked what the hell he was doing. He told me a I had cut him up (if I had it was only very slightly). I told him that it really didn't matter what I had done, he was acting like a crazy person and no way had I behaved like that. He had no answer to that and drove off in another direction, thankfully. I was shaking after that too.

[Hedgehead]

I've had the same thing. I drive a car that DH had before we got together. It's high performance and what the media would lead you to believe is a real 'man's car.' I get men trying to goad me into races on the motorway, coming up beside me, following me to petrol stations.

My impression of it is that it's not a sexual thing, it's more that the combination of a woman driving that car doesn't sit very well with them and they want to unnerve me

[scallopsrgreat]

Wow WelshMoth, lucky escape. Hugs to you. Very frightening

[eatmydust]

Happened this week to my karate black belt fitness freak DS, who was using DDs car, fairly busy rural A road, toddler asleep in the back, 10pm at night. He was tailgated and flashed at for several miles, slowed and pulled over to let the other car past - it didn't go, just stuck behind him. He turned into the first town, drove around in a circle with the other car continuing to follow him. Eventually he turned into a hotel carpark, parked by the well lit entrance and the car followed him all the way and hovered a short distance away. DS locked the doors, put the interior light on so it was obvious it was a male driver and the car quickly drove off.

Unfortunately DS didn't get the registration and admits he was very panicked, mainly because he was driving alone with a small child. It's DDs first car which she uses for uni and getting to her evening job. We've had hands free mobile access installed this week and also taken off a few stickers and a nodding dog thing she had in the back window which made the car maybe appear that it had a young female driver.

DS says he was driving slowly,as not used to the car or driving toddlers about, but is adamant he didn't drive in any way to cause road rage (not that that is any excuse for someone following him), so can only think some pathetic idiot was trying to get kicks from scaring what he thought was a young female driver. DS says he would have got out and confronted the other driver if he hadn't had the toddler with him, very pleased he didn't.

[mindthegap01]

I've had incidents like this several times regardless of whether I was in my 25 year old Golf or the newish BMW I now drive (considerately).

My favourite technique to make tail gaiters back off is to hold down the windscreen cleaner and give them a prolonged squirt with the washer fluid.

I would say though that if you're driving well and legally, it shouldn't be possible to undertake you. It really annoys me when people sit in the right hand lane holding up traffic because they're going to turn right in a mile or so.

[Newyearchanger]

Just drove home .. A little on edge because of this thread, when I had to stop at two roadworks, I was expecting to see people jumping out of the car behind me! And I didn't have the central locking on!