Driving Alone At Night - Harassment - Anyone Else?

[LessMissAbs]

Tonight, while driving through roadworks on a motorway with a speed limit of 50mph, I was tailgated by a car with its full beam on. Really close tailgating. Smaller, less powerful car than mine so when I accelerated back up to national speed limit, it got left behind. It then caught up and tailgated again. Went on for miles. Eventually I slowed down to about 40mph, they were forced to overtake, and I continued to drive slowly so they didn't follow me home or find out where I lived. I'm pretty sure I was targeted because even in the dark, they noticed I was a lone woman driver (there were 3 young males in the car).

This has happened to me a few times. Has anyone else experienced it? I once had a much worse incident but want to see if other people have had similar experiences before going into that.

[chipshop]

When I was in my early 20s I was coming home from work at about midnight, turned onto an A road in my battered Peugeot 206 and a huge Mercedes came speeding round a far corner behind me.

The driver started going mental because he had to slow down while I picked up speed. The road was clear when I turned out so he was being ridiculous. He was tailgaiting, flashing and gesturing at me for miles. A middle aged man with a snooty looking woman sitting blankly next to him. When I had to turn off to join the motorway I didn't indicate and pulled off last minute, leaving him no chance to follow. I heard angry beeps as I went down the slip road. By this point I was shaking and on the verge of tears.

If it ever happened again I'd call the police, he had no right to intimidate me like that. Hate how they all seem to get away with it.

[JumpingJackSprat]

I was with my ex once driving on the motorway and we saw a black 4x4 aggressively tailgating someone in the "slow" Lane. As we were coming to overtake him he cutus up so we practically had to emergency stop to avoid a collision. The 4x4 ended up behind us and started tailgating us, lights flashing the whole works. Over the next few miles he basically tried to bully everyone on that stretch of motorway. We pulled off at the next exit and called the police and when we rejoinedmotorway some twenty minutes later we saw the guy stopped at the side of the road by the police.

[toomuchcaffeineagain]

I have had similar happen to me on several occasions late at night on the M6. It has definitely had nothing to do with me delaying another driver as I drive fairly fast and it has been very intimidating and frightening. On one occasion a car with three lads followed me out of Birmingham city centre and on to the motorway. They knew that I was a lone woman and kept flashing their lights and matching my speed ( ranging between 40 - 110mph) until in the end I decided to really put my foot down and they couldn't keep up. I drive at night regularly and do a high mileage so I am seriously considering getting a camera installed.

[rabbitlady]

when I was young this used to happen all the time, and not just at night. I remember being blocked in on a motorway by three enormous lorries and left with nowhere to go, no escape. i started braking a lot and they took the hint and backed off.

[ilovecolinfirth]

This happened to me once, and when I drove into a local retail park to lose him, he followed me in. Stopped whilst I parked up, and then parked a few spaces away from me. I phoned my husband at that point and gave him his car details, but was really cross with myself for not calling the police. After a few minutes he drove off, but it left me shaken-up.

[ilovecolinfirth]

When it happened to me it was daytime. Certainly wouldn't drive into retail park on my own at night!

[chebella]

I was followed in broad daylight once- tried doubling back etc to lose him: eventually I managed to, parked up and did what I went for, only to return to find a note on my windscreen from the creep saying he wanted to be my "friend" - who seriously thinks a woman would find that behavior friendly?!

[chebella]

This reminds me of the everyday sexism project, sadly.

[WelshMoth]

It's awfully tempting to buy a dashboard camera. I wrote a bit of an essay for my contribution to this thread, but it must be said that this is one if many encounters.

I was a Pharma rep for 10 years, and drove up to 1000 miles a week. The encounters of aggressive tailgaiting and racing I've had are many. DH and I have also been harassed on motorways. I pride myself on safe driving (have my advanced licence) but I've had to really exceed legal speed limits on the odd occasion for my own safety.

I now drive a big VW transporter, thinking I'd be one less target on the roads. Nope. Thinking about it, I am the object of someone's unwanted attention at least once a fortnight (and I'm a regular looking 40r old woman).

It's not on. Is a dashboard camera a solution? How can perpetrators be held accountable?

[Madamecastafiore]

I love the generalisations re sex and what car you drive in MN.

I drive either a Q7 or a Fiat Panda and it's amazing the amount of wankers who drive aggressively around me when I am in the Q7, I say to DH it's like a wanker magnet.

In the Panda I am almost invisible and have never had anyone behave in an untoward manner.

[Misspixietrix]

Scary stories on this thread. :( A friend who was giving me a lift to the Hospital to visit my DM had to do a whole turnaround along a lot of backstreets to lose a tailgater one evening. They did it to my BIL once when he had my Dsis with him in the car and when he did pull over told him to get out the car. When he got out and they were greeted with a 6ft stock of a bloke they quickly changed their minds and jumped back in the car and sped off!

[Chottie]

I've had this too, when driving DPs BMW. It tends to be middle aged men driving smaller, less powerful cars.

[theimposter]

For those talking about dash mounted cameras my other half is the national distributor and can arrange nationwide installation for these. He has done group buys on motoring forums so if anyone is seriously looking for one then please message me and it can be arranged. Actually I haven't had many issues being followed etc but my car is quite manly looking and also sign written for one of my businesses which is seen as male orientated so wonder if that helps? The story about being followed to the Welsh port earlier up the thread sounded terrifying.

[TossedSaladsAndScrambledEggs]

I had this once - was driving home late at night from a singing gig, a guy in a petrol station tried to chat me up, I (politely) told him I wasn't interested, he followed me out and started taking the piss out of my car and shouting other abuse (like I cared I drove a banger!) and him and his friends followed me in their car when I drive away. I only lived round the corner, but I lived alone and I didn't want them knowing where I lived so I had to drive around for ages trying to lose them. I lost them eventually and went home. This was in the days before mobiles so I couldn't call the police. I absolutely crapped myself, I really thought I was going to get gang raped, and it still chills me to the bone when I wonder what might have happened if I hadn't lost them - he was so hostile to me when I turned him down he obviously felt he had to intimidate me to appease his bruised pride.

[TossedSaladsAndScrambledEggs]

Oh and for ages afterwards I parked my car away from my house in case they recognised it! I forgot I did that!

[complexnumber]

Why are blokes such twats.

...and why do all women write such moronic crap?

[Tallalime]

This has only happened to me once. Driving home at night and another car followed me, very close flashing his lights occasionally. Slowed down and he didn't overtake, kept up the intermittant flashing.

Honestly my first thought was that there was something wrong with my car but still wasn't going to pull over alone on a country road. Luckily my route took me past a prison, so when I got to it I turned up towards the gate house. Other driver sped off.

Checked my car, nothing obvious wrong, tyres OK, brake lights working etc.

Other driver could have been a creap, it did worry me a bit - it's never happened again.

[nessus]

Women don't tailgate each or act menacingly on the road.

Umm, yes they do

Op, I doubt it was anything malicious. Some people like to drive faster than those toeing the line. I am one of those drivers and equally get fucked off at men and women when in a rush!

[ComposHat]

Women don't tailgate each or act menacingly on the road

Well it must have been a hell of a funny looking bloke tailgating me on the A74 on Wednesday.

I don't think it is a gender issue but a fuckwit issue.

[nessus]

Exactly ComposHat! It is not a gender bias.

I am baffled at the subordinate tones of some commenters in here. Where do some live (and drive) where women are these passive types that would never act/drive like those strong scary men do.

Having a cock does not give men a monopoly on being dicks.

[ComposHat]

I am baffled at the subordinate tones of some commenters in here. Where do some live (and drive) where women are these passive types that would never act/drive like those strong scary men do.

From my experience they can't live anywhere between the east coast of Scotland and the Northwest of England (a route I drive nearly every week) where driving like an utter arse truly knows no gender distinction.

[WitchWay]

In my experience, on average men tend to drive more aggressively than women & women do more of the stupid "just not concentrating" stuff, but it is certainly not exclusive. There seems to be an increasing number of young women who drive too fast & too close, compared to when I was first driving 30 years ago, & more who will rant & gesticulate if they feel they've been thwarted in some way, compared to previously. The scary following & intimidating mentioned above, however, seems to be almost exclusively the preserve of the male driver.

[VenusDeWillendorf]

This used to happen to me when I drove my mini. Once a man actually got into my car at a red light, so I drove very fast way out of town, and told him to get out miles away from anywhere. I was more furious than scared.
I left him on the side of the road crying his eyes out. He just "did it for a laugh".

So then i decided that i was going to be more proactive. I used to have cigarettes and a few lighters always on me too at any truck stops I went to have a cup of tea in- I figured I could stab anyone with them, if things got hairy. I didn't even smoke!
I drove a lot in those days, and I met a lot of weirdos.

I changed car to a big diesel golf and left my dad's hat in the back, hey presto no more fucking wankers.

I also have a crow bar in the footwell of the passenger seat.
In these days of mobile phones, it's easier to ring the police, or with sat nav to find a police station, but when I started driving I really was all alone driving miles after miles on motorways and on little rural roads, and no one knew where I was.

I get my mum to carry wd40 in her car to spray at anyone - can't stand the feeling of being a victim waiting to happen, and that predators have all the power.

I always have my phone at the ready too.

Hope you're ok OP. with cameras now everywhere you should report it to the police, as they might have video of it.

[BookFairy]

I have had similar experiences on the M25. I drive a Micra but always drive the speed limit - no annoying and dangerous pootling! It's very frustrating people can drive dangerously and in an aggressive fashion with seemingly no repurcussions.

[AnyFucker]

Are people really trying to throw doubt on women's experiences of being threatened by men on the roads ?

I think you need some education. I'll be a non-brash feministy type (today) and point you in the direction of some "light reading" shall I ? here