To not understand how you can be with someone who "can't kiss"

[DixieGoesToHollywood]

Because I hear a lot of people saying "my DH can't kiss", and I find it really odd that there are people out there who are in a relationship with someone they don't enjoy kissing.

I adore kissing. For me a good deep passionate kiss that you feel right down to your toes is one of the best things in the world. Yes, when it's right - butterflies in the tummy, weak knees, everything else ceases to exist - the whole cliched lot.

However ... I was married to a man for 15 years and we never kissed passionately. A, because he was awful at it, and B, for me, there was never that spark between us that made me want to snog him :( We had 3 kids together (married young) but there was never that ... real chemistry.

I have remarried, and am happy to say that when ('new') DH and i kiss the world stands still for me. We've been together 8 years and from our very first kiss to when we kiss now, it's intensely wonderful!

TheListingAttic I totally agree

Its just not something we do for very long until we are doing other things, so we do kiss as a prelude to sex but it is a prelude. I have to say dh is amazing in bed and given the choice of the two I would rather he was a better lover than a good kisser and a disappointing lover.

Dixie-I think you and I are on the same page

I still get butterflies when Dh kisses me 25 years on! If I'm lucky enough to get an eyelid kiss my knees tremble! I can't imagine not having that tbh....

I do realise I'm over thinking this

My first kiss was awful. It made me a bit phobic TBH

I agree with theListingAttic

God, this thread is a relief

Some people don't care about kissing/it doesn't do much for them anyway though?

I love kissing and wouldn't be with someone who I didn't enjoy kissing.

LindaCartersBigPants, you can come from just teeth clinking? Kudos! Even when you are say, washing up and he kisses you, or just when you are doing the dirty?

dolly :o
Bet the dentist is fun

Ooh, lots of people who don't like kissing! Odd. I always sort of went off kissing a bit in ltr's , even though I was into it at the start, but, in general a bad kisser probably wouldn't get as far as the sex stage with me these days, as it would turn me off massively. I can still remember the great kissers in my life, even the ones from years ago. I was once mildly flirting with a much younger man, and be told me he was the best kisser in town, so I said " prove it" which he did! He wasn't wrong. Reader, I took him home for a dang good seeing to.

I hate kissing.
it is intrusive and revolting.
I dont want someones tongue in my mouth or saliva on my lips.
I have never liked it.
oddly, I was always able to have sex with no problems at all. Relationsip or ons , no big deal, but a kiss is horrible.

We are all different. I am sure someone like me is very appealing to other non kissers.

All sex is revolting if you think about it too hard

Do you not find kissing a key form of closeness though?

I love kissing during sex, but I have to be really turned on. At other times I find it a bit revolting. I do think this all stems from my first one, which was a full on French sluggy kiss - too much too fast

I think some screen kisses are really romantic, really erotic.

Me? No. I find it suffocating. I have a visceral reaction to it and am overwhelmed by the need to physically push myself free.
I watched something on tv and you could see a couple basically licking each others tongues and I was retching.
It is similar to the feeling you get if someone is standing really close to you, nose to nose, staring into your eyes. It feels physically painful.

I love kissing, it's a promise of things to come ;) in my eyes. My husband has a gorgeous mouth and can do incredible things with it too. His kisses are knee trembling. Luckily mine aren't too shabby either ;)

I despise kissing. I try, because DP likes it, but honestly if I never had to do that whole saliva riddled business again that would be cause for celebration. It's the breathing and the saliva and the smells and the tastes and...ugh. No.

I have some sensory issues though, so that's probably why.

I love a good snog I find it a right turn on, but I am totally phobic about seeing it on telly I'm literally cringing and making gagging noises. My son and dh think it's hilarious I have too look away.

I can't snog and have sex. That's way too many things to think about at once.

Yes, it is a form of closeness, Dixie, but I certainly don't think it is key for me.

Bunbaker was spot on when she talked about not being able to breathe - I have a permanently partially blocked nose, and so a long kiss makes me panic because I can't breathe - that certainly contributes to my negative feelings about kissing.

Surely it is one of those things that is totally down to personal choice and preference. It clearly is a vital and central part of intimacy for some people, but isn't for others - and we are all right!

SDTG

Yes, you are right. I've just never seen anyone admit it before

I love kissing. My ex-husband wasn't a great kisser and I really missed not having that connection. My current partner is incredible at kissing and I could spend hours kissing her. It's not the full-on snogging per se - but combination of gentle kisses, plus some more intense stuff. It's incredible. I am very lucky .

LyndaCartersBigPants - you're able to orgasm JUST from clinking teeth ?

Dixie, maybe they can't kiss but they can offer a quality shag??

If they can't kiss I'd be dubious about their ahem oral skills

IMO though, women are generally much better kissers than men.