to think my dd eats a lot and worry about her weight?

[PinkHardHat]

My exH is morbidly obese. I had weight issues in my teens but have been a size 8-10 for the past nine years or so. Dd is 6, around 105cm tall and almost 4 stone. She looks fine from behind but has always had a big tummy that protrudes out of clothes. She does loads of exercise but her tummy seems to be growing bigger. We eat healthily but have McDonalds once per month, which we had at the weekend. She was sharing various things with her cousins and declared afterwards that she'd eaten ten chicken nuggets as well as a box of fries. That's more than I could eat! She's told me before that her dad has given her Pringles and she ate the entire tube

Today she had:

Two slices of brown toast with choc spread and banana and a yoghurt
Milk and Apple at snack time
Lunch consisting of three crackers, cheese, ham, peppers, cucumber, carrots, strawberries, melon, grapes, small cake
After school snacks of pineapple, cherries, popcorn and a bowl of cereal
Dinner of two Yorkshire puddings, broccoli, peas, cauliflower, five roast potatoes and four chipolata sausages
Pudding of jam sponge
An hour later was asking for yoghurt and fruit

If I reduce portion sizes she asks for more. She isn't eating due to boredom as she is always busy but she eats loads more than me and weighs almost half what I do. Aibu to worry about her eating and weight at this stage?

This does sound like an awful lot of food (but then we can't see how much fruit etc she gets). I would want to seriously reduce the sugar (choc spread and fruit). She says she is hungry. Is she thirsty or just fancying something to eat? Can you distract her from wanting food or only offer it at set times? What happens if you say no?

She needs fat in her diet, milk and cheese and butter and yogurt.

She needs less sugar and more fat.

Two slices of brown toast with choc spread and banana and a yoghurt
Milk and Apple at snack time
Lunch consisting of three crackers, cheese, ham, peppers, cucumber, carrots, strawberries, melon, grapes, small cake
After school snacks of pineapple, cherries, popcorn and a bowl of cereal
Dinner of two Yorkshire puddings, broccoli, peas, cauliflower, 2 roast potatoes and four chipolata sausages
Pudding of jam sponge
An hour later was asking for yoghurt and fruit - say no

have amended what I think a child that age should eat.

the problem is you are not saying no, she will ask for more food as sugar - even natural sugar is addictive, it burns quickly and your body craves more

spend one week saying no to sugary foods and she wont crave it

I agree that her food is too light in actual filling food. Three crackers for lunch with fruit wouldn't fill me for a second, particularly doing all the activity.

My DD is nearly six, shorter and much lighter (no idea in stone but definitely less than 20kg) and yet could easily eat that dinner and pudding. But she would have meat rather than sausages. She loves proteins but rarely eats potatoes etc by choice.

the small cake was meant to be crossed out above

Yanbu to worry. That's an absolute ton if food. If ore posters who claim their children eat three times that and are "normal size" there's always a competition it seems in MN as to whos kids eat the most.

More protein , make sure she has some fat too and less sugar and carbs.

Limit puddings to once it twice a week.

Make your own stuff as well to avoid processed stuff full of sugar salt and fillers.

Just say no OP.
This is how it goes in my house, ds has a 1 course dinner, approx half of the dinner you mentioned so 2 potatoes or some rice, 2 sausages and some veg. Never done puddings.
5 minutes after dinner, ds 'I'm still hungry, can I have xyz?'
Me, 'no you've had enough'.
End of conversation.'

Today's menu for dd 15
breakfast- 1 banana, 1 apple and small bowl of vanilla yoghurt.
Lunch- soup, small portion of French bread and water melon
Dinner - quorn chicken style pieces with pesto sauce, large portion of veg, 3 croquet potatoes followed by bowl of strawberries, raspberries and blueberries.

Her school day today consists of 2 hours tap dancing, 2 hours high energy jazz, singing and drama lessons she will then come back home, for her dinner before heading off for further dance, drama singing lessons for another 3 hours.

You are her mother you are in charge of what she eats. If you are making 4 extra roasts that are available for her to eat then the next meal make 4 roast potatoes less.

I think that it is a bit worrying what you said about the popcorn in the cinema. Are you sure you are not putting your worries about her weight on to her. The reason I ask is because I have a friend who was morbidly obese before she had a gastric band fitted. Her dd is also overweight. The friend whenever she serves up food to her dd says the same thing every time I have been around.

"this is the last food you are getting, don't ask for any more." dd quickly polishes off everything on her plate and asks for more to which her mum feeds her more and says the same thing again. Her mum is really worried about her having the same issues with weight as she does and doesn't seem to see that it is her that is causing them.
Her dd came over for a sleepover one night. She ordered a Mcdonalds and whispered to me not to tell her mum. With no one saying it was the last food she was getting the girl had 1 nugget and a few fries then left the rest as she wasn't that hungry.

I think you are NBU to think what your dd is eating is a lot but it is you as the parent who is feeding her.
I would ask how much time dd spends with her df. If he is influencing her to eat more and more then surely this is a form of child abuse.

FredFredGeorge comments like that aren't actually wrong. Yes children need a different diet one denser in fats and protein but due to smaller body mass don't actually need as many calories as an adult. The reason for needing fat denser foods is that portion size should be much smaller, I'm not the slimest of people but I would struggle with that quantity of food.

I think you just have to judge wether you think she is overweight yourself. I recently had some very harsh comments from my hv about my ds being " too heavy"

He is 2.9 is v v tall, taller than his 4 year old auntie. He also weights nigh on 3 stone. There is not an ounce of fat on him. Yesterday he ate:

A crumpet, handful blueberries, cut up apple and biwl natural yoghurt.

Carrot sticks and homous

Cheese sandwich on granary with 2 slices of ham, few cherey toms, olives and a handful of rocket.

Banana

Spag bol. From scratch with courgette, mushrooms, leek, onion, garlic, lean steak mince and pasta. Half handful raw spinach and 3 tablespoons of sweetcorn.

Also drank 4 cups of water throught the day. Plus a small helping of diluted grapefruit juice.

He is v v active. Currwntly being tested for adhd amongst other things and literslly does not stop moving.
Other than that he is healthy. No issues. He has been checked out. He is growing and active so I dont see the problem.. He does not eat when he is not hungry. We have bought him up with a healthy attitude to food. Im about 5./10 and 9.st6. I eat a similar amount to ds. Dp will eat morw but is in a very physical job and is slim and healthy too.

Use your judgement. If you think she looks overweight and is not healthy then reduce portions. Of course the odd treat is fine. Ds will have the odd bit of xhocolate or cake etc.

I come feom a massive medditteranian family....food is plentiful and healthy. Not one child in my family ( and theres approx 40) is overweight. They all eat a similar thing to ds.

By all means rule out health problems though.

Try makung fake nuggets. Chicket breast fillets cut into pieces and rolled in egg and crushed cornflakes. Or even breadcrumbs, still pretty healthy.

My kids are big eaters and my 8 year old would eat more than you've noted above.

I would most definitely swap the toast with chocolate spread to toast w smoked salmon or a scrambled egg, and I would just drop the yorkshire puddings entirely.

I don't think 5 roast potatoes is too much - the way I make roast potatoes that would equal probably 5/6th of one potato, I think.

no, you are not unreasonable, but you are in control of her diet & she is eating rather a lot!

Two slices of brown toast with choc spread and banana and a yoghurt I would lose one slice of toast & either the fruit or yoghurt

After school snacks of pineapple, cherries, popcorn and a bowl of cereal she doesn't need popcorn & cereal, seems a lot for after school

Dinner of two Yorkshire puddings, broccoli, peas, cauliflower, five roast potatoes and four chipolata sausages my 10yr old doesn't eat 5 roasties, neither do I for that matter! Way too much! As is, I feel, 2 yorkies & 4 chipolatas!!

Pudding of jam sponge
An hour later was asking for yoghurt and fruit would be either jam sponge OR fruit OR yoghurt in my house

She is used to eating so much, which is why she can. I once read that kids stomach were the size of their fists...

You do know that it is OK to be hungry, right? You say she is constantly asking for food? Do you allow her to eat when she wants to or do you say no?

she'd be asking for yoghurt, fruit, toast, porridge etc within half hour of finishing it Say no. Give her a suitable portion, a pudding & that's it.

Also, thirst can be mistaken for hunger too. You said she doesn't drink much..

I notice you say up thread she does gymnastics, I know a couple of girls round about the same age as your Dd who do gymnastics quite seriously and have far far more calories per day than my DD1 who plays cricket. Could you ask her gym instructor or dance teacher for advice on this?
A trip to the GP couldn't hurt, if only to possibly get some advice and possibly a chance to talk to a dietician.

I too think upping her protein intake and lowering the carbs especially simple ones and sugars, will help keep her fuller for longer. Her meals do not actually have to look much different.

Example:

Breakfast
1 slice of wholemeal seeded toast
A boiled or poached egg
Plain yoghurt with full fat cottage cheese and fresh strawberries blended together (the cottage cheese raises the protein level and does effect the flavour detrimentally)

Snack
Cheese cubes
Apple

Lunch
Same except bake the cake and reduce sugar or instead of cake have a small biscuit (check carb content) and use crackers that contain whole grains. Berry fruits contain less sugars than melons.

Dinner
Same except 1 small Yorkshire 3 small potatoes and more meat

Pudding
1-2 squares dark chocolate / berries and cream

She probably won't need an extra snack but you could give her more of the blended strawberry, cottage cheese, yoghurt mixture.

she wasn't overweight, i wouldn't worry. My bro, sis and I used to eat like horses. Shocking quantity, but we were skinny as rakes and constantly doing sport. The fact that she is overweight means that the quantity of food IS an issue, and needs to be moderated.

An awful lot of fruit, which is great on the one hand, but a lot of sugar on the other. I think replace with some slices of chicken. Build up her protein and that should fill her up a little more, and make sure she is drinking lots of water.

annie, for all the exercise, (which is incredible, 7 hours!!), i honestly think your dd should be encouraged to be eating a lot more. That breakfast and lunch seems tiny. She will be losing weight, and fast,

and if she isn't, then I would be worried she is binge eating in secret.

Thanks for all your replies. She sees her dad for one or two weekends p/m and is allowed to eat as much of whatever she wants. They went to pizza hut last time and he bought a large and medium pizza and they ate itall bbetween them, as well as icecream. He hates his weight and constantly talks about it and is on diets, dietpills etc but when iI've mentioned that I feel dd is mirroring his habits he is defensive and has even accused me of having munchausens syndrome as I'm 'desperate to find something wrong with her.'

I do say no to her regarding food, often. She is greedy with savoury food, but not sweet - she'd stop after a few sweets or couple of bits of chocolate. With me anyway, her dad would encourage her to finish it. He is part of the problem, undoubtedly, but obviously I'm limited in what I can do.

Dd doesn't like eggs and won't eat them in any form. Going to have porridge for breakfast from next week. She likes roast chicken but the problem is she would happily eat the entire chicken skin too which is obviously not healthy. Going to reduce additions to meals like garlic bread and pudding in the week and reduce snacks too. It's difficult though as she's conscious of weight because of her dad's attitude and I don't want to realise its being reduced for that reason.

Something - she's great at gymnastics, very strong and much fitter than everyone else in the class. She just looks like she has a tummy stuck on to an otherwise in proportion frame

That's rather unfair. The eating/not eating once you are full thing has shown to be genetic. So she may have inherited the 'keep eating' gene from her dad but that's hardly his fault.

Having said that, though, everyone with the gene needs to learn good eating/exercise habits or risk obesity. Please don't diet her OP, change her diet - more protein and complex carbs and up the exercise. A 6 year old needs lots and lots of exercise.

The BMI calculator says she's on the 96th centile. Ironic that she was really fussy as a toddler and barely ate! Going to email her dad my concerns and ask him to try and change things when she's there.

What about more health carbs like brown bread or pasta or rice rather than the cakes and food containing sugar?

This would fill her up more but wouldn't cause as much weight gain.

Barbarian - she can't possibly fit anymore exercise in. She walks miles to/from school, does a total of 8 hours physical exercise clubs per week, at least three hours of swimming over a weekend, walks the dog for miles and never sits stil here. At her dad's she eats and watches tv only.