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AIBU?

to think my dd eats a lot and worry about her weight?

161 replies

PinkHardHat · 05/02/2014 22:57

My exH is morbidly obese. I had weight issues in my teens but have been a size 8-10 for the past nine years or so. Dd is 6, around 105cm tall and almost 4 stone. She looks fine from behind but has always had a big tummy that protrudes out of clothes. She does loads of exercise but her tummy seems to be growing bigger. We eat healthily but have McDonalds once per month, which we had at the weekend. She was sharing various things with her cousins and declared afterwards that she'd eaten ten chicken nuggets as well as a box of fries. That's more than I could eat! She's told me before that her dad has given her Pringles and she ate the entire tube Confused

Today she had:

Two slices of brown toast with choc spread and banana and a yoghurt
Milk and Apple at snack time
Lunch consisting of three crackers, cheese, ham, peppers, cucumber, carrots, strawberries, melon, grapes, small cake
After school snacks of pineapple, cherries, popcorn and a bowl of cereal
Dinner of two Yorkshire puddings, broccoli, peas, cauliflower, five roast potatoes and four chipolata sausages
Pudding of jam sponge
An hour later was asking for yoghurt and fruit

If I reduce portion sizes she asks for more. She isn't eating due to boredom as she is always busy but she eats loads more than me and weighs almost half what I do. Aibu to worry about her eating and weight at this stage?

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BorcestshireBlue · 08/02/2014 15:05

DS is 6, 128cm and around 4st. There is no way he could eat the volume of food your DD manages to eat.

There is nothing wrong with giving her the food she likes (although I would maybe try and get rid of the chocolate spread and educate your Ex), her overall diet looks ok, you just need to look cut down on the portion sizes.

DS will often want to snack if he is bored - distract with a game or book or a jogging on the spot competiton rather than giving the snacks.

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brokenhearted55a · 08/02/2014 14:01

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brokenhearted55a · 08/02/2014 14:01

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MummyPig24 · 08/02/2014 13:37

I hugely underestimated my 6yr olds height, having measured him today he is actually 114cm and 3st 2lb. He eats a lot but much less than ops dd. He is a naturally active child but I can see that he has potential to get a bit round if his sweet stuff intake isn't carefully monitored.

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Bettercallsaul83 · 07/02/2014 14:28

As for the exH, he should know better if he's overweight too! But try talking to him, or adding in more exercise to compensate for his lack of parenting ability.!

Have you got a Wii ? Wii Dance, Wii Fit etc is great fun.

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Bettercallsaul83 · 07/02/2014 14:26

I get a bloated tummy and am ravenous if I eat too many carbs in a day.

Currently dieting and doing well with 50% or less of carbs per day, no idea if this is good for a child or not, but maybe use My Fitness Pal to track her food (unknown to her) and then you can see a breakdown of carbs/fat/protein.. You can then make better choices for her, or see what type of snack might be better?

High sugar foods make me bloat and make me hungry.

Also, is she bored in the evenings and wants food to cheer her up, have something to do? Are they any ways to distract her from that mindset?

All I will say is that you sound like a great mum, and she'll be happier in the long run if this gets sorted now as she's growing, rather than be stuck in a cycle of dieting when she's a teen/adult.

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capsium · 07/02/2014 14:18

I think the changes you are beginning to make are great pink. It will save a lot of heartache in the future. Smile As long as you can instigate the changes with the minimum of fuss, hopefully she will just forget about them.

I remember when my mother stopped allowing sugar on cereal and in tea when I was very young. I just accepted it my taste changed and it was thing I didn't have to give up when a habit was more established.

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georgeousgeorge · 07/02/2014 14:16

....while some people seek to ridicule BMI, it is an indicator only, and shes not just indicated at overweight but very overweight.

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JerseySpud · 07/02/2014 14:14

Flipping heck that list in the OP is more than my 7 and 2 year old eat together!

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brettgirl2 · 07/02/2014 14:14

I think her lunch sounds fine. Sausages are better than crisps. For dinner round mine she would be having something based around protein, mince pie for example if she likes that meat, or a casserole or lasagne (which is really more protein than carb).

I would also try giving her more porridge see how much it takes for her to say 'no more'.

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georgeousgeorge · 07/02/2014 14:13

www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyweightcalculator.aspx

Don't know i anyone has posted this before but.... form the details she comes out at "very overweight"

playing around with the calculator though an 3st6 would make her a healthy weight and 3st "average"

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Pooka · 07/02/2014 14:12

Ds1 is 7. He has in his packed lunch today:

2 mini subs (brown) with cheese.
Sme grapes.
Greek yoghurt with honey.
Carrot sticks.

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capsium · 07/02/2014 14:10

I can see the reasoning behind cold sausages in addition. More fat and protein. Fuller for longer.

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capsium · 07/02/2014 14:09

Under line fail. I meant not !

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capsium · 07/02/2014 14:08

Sounds like an OK start. I take it she didn't kick up too much of a fuss with no yoghurt or banana. Well done. Smile

When I posted earlier I meant to say, re. the yoghurt, cottage cheese, berry smoothie, that the cottage cheese does not affect the flavour badly. The extra protein from the cottage cheese really does make it more filling and it tastes just like regular flavoured yoghurt.

Adding ground almonds (if she can eat nuts) could make the porridge more filling if need be. I would make it with full fat milk as well (less sugars and the the fat will help satisfy her appetite).

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bicuriousgeorge · 07/02/2014 14:06

Pink, is there any reason why you gave her a chicken pitta AND 2 sausages?
Would a chicken pitta have been enough?

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Pooka · 07/02/2014 14:03

My dd has never quite been in the overweight category, but relatively close at stages.

She's 10 now and her shape has started to change, but until about a year ago she had a noticeably round stomach - looked like she was sticking it out. But there's actually very little fat on it, it was kind of her 'shape' rather than fat. In the last 3 months she has grown about 8cm and looks more proportionate but definitely has a thicker middle than others in her year group still. It distresses me when I'm buying her clothes intended for significantly older children because of it, and guiding her away from certain clothes because they do make her look fat despite the fact that she is withing the healthy range weight/height.

Wht I keep going back to though are the photos of me at the same age. I had the same abdomen. All three of my dcs had broader abdomens right from the first scans in utero! If anything she is skinnier than me on her arms and legs. It's just the middle! But I am and have always since age of about 15/16 been an average 10/12 with broad shoulds and large wrists. Once was an 8 but chest went all sunken with bones visible from the front.

Dd eats healthily and exercises a decent amount. I think over the next couple of years as her body changes more, her stomach will shrink.

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PinkHardHat · 07/02/2014 14:00

She had porridge and grapefruit this morning. Asked for. A yoghurt and banana too and I said no. She had a wholemeal chicken pitta and salad in her lunchbox plusgrapes and two cold sausages.

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bicuriousgeorge · 07/02/2014 13:58

Gosh that is a lot to weigh for a 6 year old who is on the shorter side too.

It's all very well saying she doesn't like cheese meat etc but you really need to reduce something because if she's overweight, clearly her current diet contains too many calories.

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brettgirl2 · 07/02/2014 13:52

ok shes 111. That is a lot better but it's still a lot dd is 109 and is 2 stone 8/9 ish I think.

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brettgirl2 · 07/02/2014 13:49

she is 105cm and 4 stone at 6. There is no way that isn't overweight, unless the measurements are wrong in fact surely its obese? It is not cruel to give her different food options, and limit the other stuff. It is this anxiety about kids being hungry which leads to most eating and weight problems.

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capsium · 07/02/2014 13:46

Have you started with any of the smaller changes Pink?

How is it going?

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PinkHardHat · 07/02/2014 13:44

Frog I didn't say she isn't overweight. I said she doesn't look overweight, besides her solid poking out tummy. The charts say she is overweight.

It's all very well saying give her cheese/hummus etc but she just doesn't like it. It's cruel to give her food she hates so she'll eat less imo. Eggs and hummus make her physically gag. She likes mince, but it isn't her favourite - at least giving that I know it isn't impossible for her to eat it but she'll stop when full.

She doesn't want to have school dinners as her friends have packed lunch. Plus they have substantial puddings everyday so it's not an improvement. Her activities are from 4-6 usually so not enough time for a meal beforehand.

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frogwatcher42 · 07/02/2014 11:48

Rather than relying on a notoriously difficult way of truly assessing overweightedness (is that a word?)(meaning charts, paper based methods), just take her to the nurse/doc and ask them to assess her weight. If they say she is fine then relax.

If they say she is overweight then you know you have to do something.

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2rebecca · 07/02/2014 09:37

For the height and weight given your daughter is on the 99th centile for her BMI and is very overweight. www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyweightcalculator.aspx is the link to the BMI centile calculator. You can do it more accurately as you know her date of birth. It sounds like more than having a bit of a tummy though.

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