to want SAHMs to divulge how much money they have to spend?

[YesAnastasia]

How much money do non earning SAHM get to actually spend? On clothes, hair/beauty or whatever they want.

I want to know if I'm being unreasonable to want more or if I am spoilt and should suck it up because things are tight.

I have £134.80 a month to myself (yes that's probably a familiar to a lot of you) except when you're a parent, not much is ever just for you anymore is it?

That's ok isn't it? Or is it? It doesn't feel like it, especially when there are birthdays etc. Anyway, what do you get?

Zero.

I have major guilt issues spending DH money.

Have read so many posts about SAHM being complete spongers, I limit it to essentials only, and then cheap. In the last 4 months I have spent only tesco points money on my own clothes.

My DH would let me spent what I like within reason, but the guilt is too strong.

YABVVVVVVVVVVU

It's kind of annoying the number of people saying that they trust each other, are intelligent adults etcetc therefore can both spend what they like within reason from the joint account, no need for individual money. Tbh you obv have plenty of money in that case!

Many probably don't even have the £150 that you and your DH have each, but they rely on knowing each other's average spending habits, know that they don't spend much at all, keep a bigger buffer that they try not to spend but will that will allow for them both spending the money, not knowing the other one had etc or they keep a tight eye on transactions as my DH does. It doesn't necessarily mean they obv have plenty of money.

swallow I see exactly what you mean but it also depends on what your partner spends

In my case DH is at work and doesn't buy coffees and bits during the day so I would be quite safe getting money out

We usually take money out at the beginning of the week and then I spend it if I needed more money I would take it out but let him know that I've taken it from the cash machine, otherwise he thinks a criminal is raiding our account (not me)

Otherwise I raid a child's money box, for some reason they are minted!!!!!!

Elderberri, you are not a sponger. If you and your DH are happy with your set up that's all that counts.
I've never thought of our family money as DH's money.

For us everything goes to one pot. DH then sorts out rent, bills, etc. I then take some out as I need. If I want something like a coat, a new watch etc I ask him to get me one. One because I love him buying stuff for me and 2 because he is amazing at shopping :)

Anything that I left is invested or put in a separate pot for investment.

I take £800 out per month from joint account and put into my own account. This roughly £140 a week on shopping, about £30 a week on petrol and then about £30 a week on coffees/ lunches/ nails/ save etc.

This works quite well for us as if I used the joint account is overspend and not stick to a budget.

Although if the children need something expensive, clothing shoes, school trips etc then I'd take that out of the joint account, likewise for myself re clothes & shoes .

Thanks but it's pretty obvious that society regards SAHM as pond scum.

I have even read, maybe on here that SAHM are like prostitutes.

Oh, can you do gift aid, no I don't have paid work, awkward silence.

SAHM don't generate tax revenue, we are the invisible. Lol.

Ooh yes I forgot the bank of children. I automatically put nearly everything on a credit card which gets paid off each month from the joint account. I'm always running out of cash. I think the window cleaner sees me raid the kids piggy bank everytime.

I wouldn't be happy only getting the child benefit, unless that was the same amount as Dh got.

I have said this multiple times on here but we have:
Joint account for monthly family bills (e.g. mortgage, school dinners, gas, electric, phone, food)
Joint account for yearly bills (e.g. car insurance, car tax, tv licence) into which we pay enough monthly to cover those bills when they are due
Our own current accounts & savings

Dh pays enough into the joint accounts to cover what gets paid out with a little contingency too (we have the child benefit paid into the joint account so we take this into account when working out what he pays in). The rest of his salary (and any overtime) is split equally between us.

If I was a prostitute I'd be incredibly well paid

It must work out to hundreds per shag

Big purchases for the kids are paid from our current accounts and we balance it to make it as even as possible.

Obviously that was to elder

We have £50 a month each 'pocket money' for clothes and toiletries. I used to include my £20 haircut in this until I thought logically that dh doesn't have that expense ( he has clippers) .
I'm now working but we are still church mice so the £50 stands. ( although I have blown the budget to get some work clothes recently and we would do the same for dh if he needs some.

I don't think it matter how much I get for me, only that how much WE get each, after all the necessities, is equal. That's the real issue here isn't it?

Lol

DH and his ex used to keep their own money and pay half of all bills etc. We both however, share everything. He now can't understand why you'd do it any other way.

I'm about to be a sahm (we both work full time currently, and earn the same money) but all our money goes into one account, we pay all the bills out of it and we just spend whatever is left as we see fit. I have no idea who spends more on each other, but we don't ask each other for permission, and when I'm not working, he wouldn't expect me to either. We are a family. He can only work because I'm raising OUR child. If I didn't, he'd have to. I'm not sponging, it's our money - doesn't matter whose name is on the payslip.

Well I work 2 days a week managing a cinema and get paid in cash. It's not much at all, probably about $175 a month. I usually spend that on myself. But if DH needs cash for something he'll ask if I have any sometimes.

Otherwise I spend whatever I need from the joint account. Usually if either of us are going to buy something over a few hundred dollars we'll mention it to the other.

I have about what you have - but then so does DH. I can't imagine not having equal treat money. The rest goes into joint for bills, savings etc.

But then we budget really well - bills includes hs travelcosts and DS's swimming, football,birthday gifts for his friends. It's really only clothes, coffees etc.

Elder - that is a really sad thing to say, I have never, ever felt like that as a SAHM.

Rufus

DP & I both have an 'allowance' purely because DP is a bit spendthrifty and happily makes big purchases I.e. Acoustic guitars/new bike without a care in the world so we introduced an allowance to make it fairer. We each have £260 to spend as we please and we also put £260 extra into the joint account to cover everything the dc need like clubs, uniform, shoes etc.

Needless to say, I don't spend all mine and DP is broke by the end of the month

Elderberi, that would have been Xenia. I've never known any other poster say that...

Elderberi he is paying you instead of paying a nanny or nursery. Good childcare is never free. (even good GP's often come with strings attached and drawbacks).

You're not a sponger.