To not allow my dds to have packed lunches?

[Dancergirl]

My 2 younger dds are 11 and nearly 7. They are fussy-ish eaters especially the 11 year old.

However I have always insisted on school dinners because:

-I can't face making packed lunches day in day out for years on end

-I think it's good for fussy eaters in the long run to be exposed to different types of food rather than a limited choice in their lunch box

The school has recently changed their supplier to one where the food is better quality and cooked fresh. They didn't mind (too much) the old food, however they really don't like the new food.

There is a fairly low take up on school meals at the school, not for financial reasons but there seem to be a lot of fussy eaters who don't like the school food.

So am I being mean on insisting on school lunches? My thinking is - there is a perfectly fine, freshly cooked meal available, I don't see the need to make a packed lunch. I also cook in the evening.

AIBU?

The incentive is hunger didl

I pander I'm afraid as I know DS (6)won't eat a lot of the hot school dinners and would rather go hungry! Equally, I don't think they are as healthy as the lunches I make him and I'm worried about the quality of the meat and fish. For instance, I would only give DC very lean steak mincemeat at home, that is not going to happen at school!

YANBU OP
We do Hot dinners from October Half Term to February Half Term, Packed Lunches the rest of the time.
Admittedly our school has its own kitchen and the food is really quite nice (they do come dine with me days each week so I have sampled a range of it). DS was super fussy at 5 but seems to eat a good range of stuff at school now. DD is a pita with food at home but loves school dinners.

and fwiw
making packed lunches IS a pita . FACT

Do you all actually know what you child is eating??

The menu is one thing. What gets served or the combination of food your child ends up with depending on stock is another.

Just because they are doesn't mean they are a balanced meal it could be they are full on pudding and the bread given.

Are you all 100% certain your child is getting what you would deem a rounded meal or does it not bother you as long as they ate something?

I think even if we went down the packed lunch route, dd2 would prefer some pasta in a flask like some of her friends. So not just making a couple of sandwiches.

giles I don't want to be rude and thank you for suggesting, but do you really think I haven't thought of having her help me cook?! Ditto 'get them involved with planning and shopping for food'. I've probably heard that a million times. It doesn't work with my dd, she'll hopefully outgrow her fussiness in her own time like me and dh did (both terrible eaters as children).

So is it really so wrong to hand over the reins to someone else for one meal a day, 5 days a week, 38 weeks a year?

giles how do you know that out of interest?

Know what? :)

How do you know what is actually served is so different from the menu? And that children fill up on bread and pudding?

At dd's school they have to eat enough main course before they start the pudding. They try and encourage the fussy ones, they're not just left to eat nothing.

You don't have to 'pander' to her by doing pasta in a flask etc.

Clearly state that the option is a sandwich and a piece of fruit - that really is not hard to make.

I agree with giles - when you look at the menu for school meals they always look nice - the reality in many state schools the food is cooked centally and shipped in; I just don't believe it is nutritious (I have studied nutrition, it is not just my personal taste ). My DS said he had 'cheese and biscuits' for dessert one day, he loves cheese and biscuits at home. At school it was one dairylea triangle, three grapes and a cracker .

And does the cost of school meals really not bother you?

Because there's a thread on here at least twice a week. From parents of kids who are on te last sitting and get strange combos out of the left overs. That there's not always enough. So parents think they are paying for a choice of chicken curry, rice and eg or sausage and mash with veg. What they get is Cauliflour and mash potato as the sausages had gone and they didn't want the curry.

Or only te vege option was left so it was noodles and sweet corn because the sweet and sour chicken had run out.

Kids also get bread on the side. I know my dd was filling up on bread and pudding because the meal wasn't nice.

I was paying £40 a month for bread sponge and custard.

ragwort as I've said above, dd2 would only eat cheese or chicken sandwiches and I know she would get pretty bored of those quite quickly!

She doesn't eat fruit, what else would I put in??

I don't really want to go down the pasta in a flask route, sometimes I make pasta with different things on it as a quick supper if they've got activities etc.

I've come to realise posting this that this isn't really about the time issue, you CAN make time for most things if you're organised. It's more about the other issues for not making them - having a cooked meal available and lack of things to put in a packed lunch.

Can't you offer warm food from night before? Then rarely any extra effort just heat in am and put in flask. So if you have spaghetti bolignaise in eve just make enough to reheat in am for lunch. Same for all pastas/ rice/ soup/ casserole/ etc etc.. Leaving maybe one morning to make something. Can have cold sausages/ meat etc from night before also. Add some cubes of cheese/ banana/ yogurt and done

Have you seen the bread they get? It's a tiny piece. Children wouldn't fill up on a piece that size.

Incidentally I was working at a primary school in a London borough today and was there at lunchtime. The food looked very good - roast beef, roast potatoes, veg and they have to have some salad too. Pudding was a small flapjack or fruit salad.

art yes that would work for many children. Spag bol I make loads, dd2 eats the spag and a TINY piece of bol with a struggle. Soup/casseroles etc forget it.

What do your children eat?

It's just that you say ''food looked very good - roast beef, roast potatoes, veg and they have to have some salad too. Pudding was a small flapjack or fruit salad.'' However if your child doesn't like veg, salad, fruit, flapjack or most meats surely its only the potatoes they will eat? With maybe the meat?

OP I think you have the right idea - don't let the packed lunch posse talk you out of letting your children have school lunches.

I am certain they are almost always better and healthier, with more variety than packed lunches, especially post Jamie Oliver's excellent (which a lot of idiots didn't have the wits to appreciate!) campaign!

Almost everyone here who says packed lunched are better then proceeds to list typical contents of their child's lunchbox which are invariably appalling: a ham sandwich, low quality, processed cheese, some sort of crisps or the closest equivalent, then fruit, yogurt AND a "treat" - excess sugar much? And often fruit juice as well.

And all this ridiculousness about fussy eaters - I have no doubt that a lot of children are fussy, but as you say OP we really shouldn't pander to it. Mine have also been at times, but my eldest is without doubt much less fussy, hardly at all really now, after eating school lunches, which by the way are healthy and varied, with the staff checking that the children are actually eating a good variety of foods. Cultivating a no-nonsense approach with food also helps, which I am in the process of doing with my youngest who just ate pasta sauce with broccoli, olives, onion etc after a little persuasion.

It is also a very useful lesson for children (and a lot of grown-ups too it seems!) to eat what you are given, and for everyone to sit together and eat the same thing. I think this fussiness is often passed on from parents to children!

However if your child doesn't like veg, salad, fruit, flapjack or most meats

Rubbish - you do have some control over this you know?

Urgh,I give up. Just keep doing what you're doing op. Better?

Marianne they don't eat it though!! They don't like it!

I think we are trying to establish exactly what op is paying for if the sampled food she has seen contains nothing she claims her child will eat.

I get op trying to make life easier for herself but I can't get her paying for food her dd won't eat. Would you go to a cafe and order a fry up when all you eat is toast? You just wouldn't.

That's what we don't understand.

giles the example of the menu I gave above is NOT my dds' school, it's a school I was working in today.

My own dds' school - varied menu. Roast once a week, shepherds pie, stir fries, jacket potatoes, chicken pie etc.