AIBU to tell Exdp he sees all dc or none of the dc's?

[Shellywelly1973]

Very briefly Exdp left in December. We'd been together 14 years. Dd12, ds 8, Ds5 & baby due last week.

He's been in Scotland since Christmas. He's not spoken to dc or seen them. He wouldn't give me any money. Paid January's mortgage payment & made it very clear he would be unable to make any further financial contribution. He's self employed & not worked since he went to Scotland so CSA unable to help.

He contacted me via email tonight to see why I haven't informed him of the birth...I'm 6 days over due. Very unusual for me. He thinks I'm lying. He told me he wants to see Dd12 & Ds5. Ds 8 has ASD& ADHD. Ds5 is being assessed for ASD but Exdp doesn't acknowledge his difficulties. He doesn't want to have contact with ds8 or the baby. This baby was planned.

He expects me to put Dd12 & Ds5 on a train in the February half term by themselves & travel from London to Scotland- oh & I will have to pay!

So aibu to tell him you see all the dc or none of the dc?

Do I deny the 2 dc he wants to see the opportunity of a relationship with their father?

Aibu for shaking with anger as I'm 40+6 weeks pregnant. Single parent of 4 dc. 2 ds with SNS. Going back to work at 6 weeks so I can pay the mortgage. Absolutely skint. Giving birth by myself...

Its not about me, I know that but I'm fucking angry. I've no perspective of my situation. Aibu or do i shut up & take what he's offered the 2 dc?

a, legally 12 is too young to babysit and while it is reasonable to take yourself to school at that age travelling to scotland is not what they class as "reasonable" and you will end up with a social worker involved b,im assuming he has run off to scotland to avoid CSA? i know a man who moved to wales for that very reason they dont like to cross the line apparently and dont usually pursue money across the border

this could however work in your favour because custody arrangements are tricky to set up too if he pursues in a scottish court he might get a surprise as they don't appreciate runaway dads

you sound like your well rid of him i hope things get better soon

The children are too young to travel to Scotland and have you much idea of the conditions ex is living in? It could be totally unsuitable for the DCs, even dangerous. They definitely shouldn't go.