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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking a 4 day stag is excessive?

95 replies

Snufflebabe05 · 02/02/2014 07:49

Oh and I have a 3 year old toddler and a 5 month old baby. Baby still wakes several times a night.

OH is going on a stag in may for 4 days and 3 nights.

To be honest, the thought of doing 3 nights by myself fills me with dread. Baby is a grumpy wee soul, cries for the majority of the day. I countdown the minutes until 7/8pm when OH gets home from work as; even though both girls are in bed, I have some help.

The other issue is that whenever OH has a stag, he ends up working extra hours before and after, so he is around even less than he is usually.

I just want someone else to tell me that it is excessive when you have two little ones at home.

OP posts:
Picturesinthefirelight · 02/02/2014 13:31

Too right Glasgow

Dh went in one overnight stag do- it was a complete one off (he was best man) & the groom lives the other end ofcthe country to us

He's not been on anything else that's any more than an evening out.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/02/2014 13:32

I think the current trend for stag and hen do weekends/holidays that cost a fortune, is ridiculous. Who has the money for that sort of thing these days? I know dh and I couldn't afford something like that - and if we could, we'd prefer to spend it on a holiday or trip for our family! not in some 4-day booze-up, piss-fest.

80sMum · 02/02/2014 13:39

Agree with SDTG. It's absolutely ridiculous! Whatever happened to simply having a few drinks with friends the night before the wedding?? Surely that's enough?

mistermakersgloopyglue · 02/02/2014 13:42

Well my dh has never been on a stag do more extravagant than 2 pints (no more) at the pub at the end of our road and strictly back home by 10:30. He knows I would laugh like a drain at the mere suggestion of anything more and would be returning to all his clothes in bin bags outside the front door.

MotheringShites · 02/02/2014 13:51

Obviously if financial/annual leave issues will impact potential family holidays then it's not U for you to expect him to say no to a 3 night holiday.

If you were simply saying you don't want to be alone with your DCs for 3 nights then for me, personally that would be U. I totally expect DH to cope with the DCs for that length of time in return.

ilovesooty · 02/02/2014 13:53

Well my dh has never been on a stag do more extravagant than 2 pints (no more) at the pub at the end of our road and strictly back home by 10:30. He knows I would laugh like a drain at the mere suggestion of anything more and would be returning to all his clothes in bin bags outside the front door

That seems rather extreme in the other direction. Poor bloke.

GirlWithTheDirtyShirt · 02/02/2014 13:56

I would think this normal, so YABU.

What would everyone be saying if a poster said their husband was against them going away for the weekend because he couldn't cope?

glasgowsteven · 02/02/2014 14:06

A 4 day stag is not normal.....

oh stripper on a stag, thats normal too eh.

A prostitute, well its a stag night eh!!

What goes on a stag stays on a stag

Misters before sisters

We are grown ups with grown up responisbilites

paxtecum · 02/02/2014 14:07

OP: Do you have a spare 1,000+ for him to pee up the wall on the stag do or is money tight?

Whatever he has told you it will cost, it will actually be at least double that figure.

glasgowsteven · 02/02/2014 14:18

"Dont invite steven, he never can afford stag now he has kids"

its accepted....he does not need to go, we reach a stage in life when family overtakes friends....unless he wants to be a lonely old man

squoosh · 02/02/2014 14:19

'Suppose it depends on the context, for example my brother's stag do is the 3 peaks challenge so it will take 4 days. However, a trip to Magaluf (or similar) when you have young, exhausting, children at home is not acceptable IMO.'

I don't see what the difference between these two scenarios is to be honest. It's still a four day absence.

squoosh · 02/02/2014 14:21

'Well my dh has never been on a stag do more extravagant than 2 pints (no more) at the pub at the end of our road and strictly back home by 10:30. He knows I would laugh like a drain at the mere suggestion of anything more and would be returning to all his clothes in bin bags outside the front door.'

Christ, your poor husband must have a miserable life. If my partner told me I was allowed out for two drinks and no more and was to be home no later than 10.30pm I would tell them in no uncertain terms where to go.

Shonajoy · 02/02/2014 14:26

I just don't get HOW people can afford it?! The amount of hen holidays I've turned down cos they'd be £800 by the end of it, money that could go on a family holiday.

It just seems to be getting more and more excessive, or WAG wannabe like.

Tiredemma · 02/02/2014 14:29

Well my dh has never been on a stag do more extravagant than 2 pints (no more) at the pub at the end of our road and strictly back home by 10:30. He knows I would laugh like a drain at the mere suggestion of anything more and would be returning to all his clothes in bin bags outside the front door

Poor bloke.

ilovesooty · 02/02/2014 14:29

squoosh I'm glad I wasn't the only one shocked by that.

AnyFucker · 02/02/2014 14:30

I wouldn't agree to this, not in a million years. You are a mug if you do.

ilovesooty · 02/02/2014 14:31

X post with Tiredemma That's just so controlling it's unbelievable.

Tiredemma · 02/02/2014 14:34

I actually think that the controlling displayed there is far worse than not wanting your DH to go away because you will struggle with little ones. That is understandable.

To tell a grown man to stick to a two pint rule and give a curfew of 10.30 is really quite sad. I cant think how you could justify this? does he have a drink problem??

jojoanna · 02/02/2014 14:35

I would say no.

mistermakersgloopyglue · 02/02/2014 14:35

I need to work on getting sarcasm across in my writing a bit more successfully Grin

Don't worry, there isn't really a poor bloke out there who is allowed no more than 2 pints and a 10:30 curfew on a stag do (although not a million miles away from what i have read on here before!) my dh has been on a few 4 Dayers!

Tiredemma · 02/02/2014 14:37

I think you need to put a Wink there. Otherwise we will just think you are a controlling harridan. Grin

ilovesooty · 02/02/2014 14:38

Phew. Grin

dollius · 02/02/2014 14:38

God, I am so thankful that my DH would rather poke his own eyes out with a blunt stick than spend four days and nights on a stag trip. Are they 16? And as for the PP who said there were strip bars mentioned on the invite, I mean, Jesus wept.

AnyFucker · 02/02/2014 14:40

Being a "cool wife" gets you nothing but disrespect and the piss taken out of you.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 02/02/2014 14:41

OP is your partner telling you he is going and being a twat or has he got suggestions as to make it less stressful for you while caring for his children alone for 4 days?

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