To not want to bf in front of visitors

[Slh122]

I have a 10 day old baby and we're expecting family visitors this afternoon. DS is breastfed and I'm really not confident doing it in front of people yet.
I just told DP that when they come round if I'm still feeding him then I'll go into the bedroom until he's finished as I haven't quite worked out the logistics of feeding 'subtly' yet.
DP says he won't be left to 'play host' to my visitors and that if I go into the bedroom then he will too and no one will answer the door to them. He's given me a towel to cover myself up with
He says I'll just have to feed DS in here or delatch him, which I don't really want to do when I'm still establishing supply and DS has jaundice which needs flushing out his system.
I really don't want to sit here with my boobs out in front of people! AIBU?

Have you tried one of these?

Jeez are you having a relationship with a 12yr old? He's being unbelievably unsupportive. Won't 'play host' wtf? Sounds like you've got 2 children not one.

Does he even like you? Does he not put the Mother of his 10 day old baby at the top of his priority list? Am very on your behalf.

YANBU. I did the same thing when my daughter was newborn. As she fed a lot at that stage my husband spent a lot of time 'playing host' to visitors but he didn't even mention it. It does get easier; I can now feed discreetly in front of anyone.

you poor thing, how cruel and horrid of him.

its the babies visitors anyway, they arnt coming to see you, tell him to tell his child he wont host his vistors. I am sorry as a new mum you are having to put up with such a childish and horrid attitude.

do whatever makes you and the baby comfy jings he is being a bit of a twit about this and until he actually lactates and is able to feed the baby himself he needs to just suck it up and entertain the visitors for however long it takes,

I find it very upsetting to read about these unsupportive partners, goodness knows how you must feel OP. Breast feeding is a lovely thing but it takes time and privacy to establish a rhythm and confidence to feed in public. Some good suggestions up post about asking guests to pop into the kitchen for a few minutes while you 'arrange' yourself. I used to find wearing a shirt I could button up and down and a large muslin draped over my shoulder/boob area helpful.

Well DS delatched just in time for them to arrive and then he started crying for another feed about 5 minutes ago so I just said to DP 'well I'll just go feed him, won't be long everyone' and walked out the living room.
I have no idea why he's behaving like a twat. Lack of sleep?

It took me a few weeks to be fully confident with bf. At first, it can feel like you need a few pairs of hands to be able to just latch on! Let alone baby coming off and you worrying about spraying milk everywhere.

As others have said, it does get easier. A great piece of advice I was given when DD was newborn was that bf is something that BOTH you and baby learn to do together.

Try different positions, having a muslin to hand can be useful for quick nipple coverage or catching any spillage. A cover may be useful but don't feel you have to cover up to feed, and some babies don't like them.

The more stressed you feel about needing to get it done quickly because that's what your DH wants, the longer it may take for you and baby to figure it all out.

He has a baby now. He needs to be a grown up.

Sounds like you dealt with it perfectly OP

YANBU .I hated everything about breastfeeding and was never willing to do it in public or in front of people.

Yanbu, what an idiot you chose to have a baby with.

Not sure if that was meant in a nasty way or not CoffeeTea.

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Is he tired or is he always a twat?

If you discuss this thread with him later, tell him from me that he's a selfish pig. I've never heard such nonsense. If he was my son I'd be having words and I never interfere. I feel so cross for you and your baby.

I think he's tired Excuse but that doesn't give him the right to be a twat.
He's normally great and has been fab on a night, etc.

Sorry op I should rephrase that. What an idiot the man you chose to have a baby turned out to be. Off course you need to bf in the way you feel most comfortable and he should support you!

Op you dealt with it perfectly. Maybe your dh is adjusting to parenthood and feels nervous about hosting on his own, especially if they are your friends or your family. Nevertheless that is not an excuse for poor behaviour or poor manners. Would he like to stand outside the bathroom door if you pop to the loo while visitors are there?

You must talk to him and explain your needs and what will make like easier for you as clearly he doesn't get it yet. Good luck with the bf and enjoy your newborn.

Well done OP, sounds like you dealt with it in the best way. I wasnt comfortable feeding in front of visitors either. My DH would stay with guests, while I nipped upstairs

YANBU - not sure what it is about men and breastfeeding sometimes!!

Stick to your guns, do what you need to get feeding established. A few weeks in it is much easier to do discreetly or under something!

In the meantime - a few gentle reminders about the benefits of breastfeeding he may appreciate - cost of formula, better nights for him in the long run, easier to be spontaneous with plans in a few months time as you don't have to worry about having enough with you!

op a new baby takes parents a while to adjust to everything glad it worked out without any drama he is just going to have to get used to the baby's needs

your partner is being insensitive! ignore that.

if you wear a skirt or trousers with a top you can pull up rather than down, and have a scarf or big blanket around your shoulders, you can cover everything when you feed.

i'm a strident supporter of breastfeeding but i do understand how you feel. my then-eighteen-month-old toddler was bf on demand, but one day i found myself in my mum's living room with my 20 year old brother and half a dozen boy cousins aged 16 and above. i was 24, so not that much older. baby wanted a feed. i so did not want to get my tit out, even discreetly, in front of all those young men, i tried to subtly dissuade little one. failed. baby sat up, back straight, face indignant and said in an outraged tone

"i want to suck your nipple! why won't you let me suck your nipple!"

so much for discretion. she got her feed.

Well done op. If he's tired than, quite frankly, he needs to man up. He's going to be tired for sometime - it doesn't give him an excuse to be a pig.
Love the nipple demanding 18 month old!

at rabbitlady - whole new meaning to the term 'feed on demand'.
I'm going to have a chat with DP about this.

I didn't find breastfeeding remotely helpful in "being spontaneous" Far from it.

Sorry but the 18 month old demanding a nipple is yuk.

That's one precocious 18 month old with quite an extensive vocabulary.