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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OK iabu as it's fb but sheesh

99 replies

BuntCadger · 01/02/2014 11:11

I have a scrummy 11 day old baby and finally chose his name yesterday. Zachary Benjamin Smile do I text family and friends and later upload a few pics for friends and family on fb with his name.

lots of lovely messages and all good. .. then a message from cousin "really? I think my Zachary was happy being the only one! " I replied that I didn't know she had a Don with that name but that it is such a lovely. name and sure lots of boys have thus name.

today there is another message about the fact 3 of my 4 children share names with her family. Thomas did Jessica. . They are hardly unusual names and they are names I like. nothing to do with her family.

she's now in her early 50s and a grandma herself so her kids are a fair bit older. j just don't get why she feels the need to be so snipey. I was all Grin as loved up.with newborn and she's just made it a bit Sad . dh.wants me to. "unfriend" her but it seems a bit petty, although. I wouldn't have to see her comments

OP posts:
DebugMe · 01/02/2014 13:19

I had similar - BIL's girlfriend commented 'the names in your family are so unoriginal' after we announced DC2's name, as both our DCs share names with the v.large extended family. They are no longer together though Grin

There are 63 million people in the UK. Your DC will share their name with someone. Quite possibly all of their names. It really doesn't matter. The name you chose is still lovely.

CunningAtBothEnds · 01/02/2014 15:19

yanbu. defriend the strange caaaah and enjoy your ds (waft him at me)

KayHarker1 · 01/02/2014 15:24

Weird. No one has first dibs on a name. We went out of our way to choose unusual names, but have met a number of others with the same names - our BIL chose popular names to avoid stigma. Horses for courses.

Original poster
BuntCadger · 01/02/2014 18:21

Thanks. feel better it's not my hormones making me sensitive. since I posted about deleting the comments other friends have posted how my cousin was out of line x

OP posts:
LucilleBluth · 01/02/2014 18:25

I have a ten year old Zachary. I also have a 2 yo DD and I'm finding that I'm hearing it more and more in DDs age group. I blame Elton John ;)

Original poster
BuntCadger · 01/02/2014 18:27

She sent me 2 messages now. best to ignore them? I don't get what her issue is.

1st message - Am I to believe that you have the hump with me?

2nd message - SAD! SAD! SAD! SAD! SAD! SAD! There's no way back now. SAD! SAD!

OP posts:
YellowDinosaur · 01/02/2014 18:28

Sorry to derail but birdsgotofly an adopted cousin is not a cousin-ish, they are a cousin. You know, as much a part of the family with a much right to choose a family name, as the rest of the family.

Original poster
BuntCadger · 01/02/2014 18:28

fucks sake it has actually made me teary. Wtf is her problem

OP posts:
Auriga · 01/02/2014 18:33

Congratulations and you've chosen beautiful names.

My Mum and three of her cousins were all called after her grandmother. It was traditional then. They were given different diminutives and nicknames to distinguish them, as they were all close and saw each other often.

My cousin called his daughter after my Mum just before I had my daughter. I went ahead and called her after Mum anyway. Never been a problem: if he or his wife minded they didn't say a word.

exexpat · 01/02/2014 18:37

You could send her a link to this website www.babynames.co.uk so she can see for herself that Jessica is the third most popular girl's name, and Thomas is the 6th most popular boy's name - so I would guess there is a very strong chance that any large, extended family will have a child with that name somewhere.

Zachary is a bit more unusual but still around the 40th most popular so it's not as if you could only have copied it from them.

Otherwise, just ignore her.

gamerchick · 01/02/2014 18:38

she sounds unhinged...tell her to knob off!

SweepTheHalls · 01/02/2014 18:40

My cousin has just a called his brand new DS with the names of both my boys. I think it's awesome! Clearly he thinks I have agreat taste in names!

indigenoustothesofa · 01/02/2014 18:42

I really doubt that 'her' Zachary cares even remotely about being the only one. Ignore her and enjoy your baby Smile I don't actually understand her more recent text? She sounds a bit odd.

birdsgottafly - apologies if I've misinterpreted your post, but are you suggesting that adopted relatives have less claim over family names? I am planning on naming my ds2 after my late dad - should I not do so because I am adopted and not his biological daughter? Hmm

NewtRipley · 01/02/2014 18:42

What a sad little person she is. Anyone reading what she wrote will be wondering what on earth her problem is, that she thinks to post stuff like that after the birth of a new baby.

Congratulations on the birth of your son.

shushpenfold · 01/02/2014 18:43

She is being ridiculous - don't join in, don't reply, don't say anything....annoys far more than keeping it going.

NewtRipley · 01/02/2014 18:44

And yes, don't reply. Keep the moral high ground.

TheCatThatSmiled · 01/02/2014 18:48

Ignore, I have the same name as a younger cousin - I was I a different country when she was born. It was never an issue between our parents. As youngsters we were big & little X. Much older at family get togethers we love getting people confuddled after a few glasses of wine :)

HandragsNGladbags · 01/02/2014 18:53

My dfriend has a wonderful reply for people like this

"Not your moment Darling, not your moment"

growltigersontheloose · 01/02/2014 19:02

I like what HandragsNGladbags has posted. Your cousin is being a dick. Don't let this distract from your special time. Ignore her, focus on you and your baby.
Also, massive congratulations, and it's a lovely name.

procrastinatingagain · 01/02/2014 19:02

How rude and strange of her. I know you didn't "copy" the names, but I would take it as a compliment if anyone called their child the same name as mine. Ignore her!

Topaz25 · 01/02/2014 19:03

Block her! She has no right to pick on you like this after the birth of your child! This is already an emotional time, it should be a happy one.

Greentriangle82 · 01/02/2014 19:04

Congratulations! Beautiful name please don't be too upset about cousins comments.

Topaz25 · 01/02/2014 19:08

Seriously, what is the worst that will happen if you block her? You weren't close anyway, you won't miss her. Whereas the worst that will happen if you don't block her is she will carry on hassling you and then this will be what you remember about the weeks after your baby's birth.

Original poster
BuntCadger · 01/02/2014 19:09

handrag Grin love it

OP posts:
carlywurly · 01/02/2014 19:09

Oi, you've nicked one of my names. Grin
Seriously. Good taste. Ignore her.