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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to see Dappy's dongle?

85 replies

newmorning · 28/01/2014 17:55

If you're watching Celeb Big Brother, you must know that the 5' 3" tall rapper 'Dappy' is supposed to have a most enormous penis.

Don't you wish he'd just get it out so we could all have a look?

OP posts:

MollyHooper · 28/01/2014 23:56

It only looks big because he's titchy.

A cocktail sausage would look massive on a ken doll.

Original poster

newmorning · 29/01/2014 00:02

"A cocktail sausage would look massive on a ken doll."

True, but no matter what his height, Dappy's sausage is gherkin-sized.

And I don't mean the pickle.

I mean that building in London.

OP posts:

ohfourfoxache · 29/01/2014 00:04

It's not the quantity but the quality that counts

PatrickStarisabadbellend · 29/01/2014 00:15

I think it looks like Edward Miliband. I have no idea why though?

IthoughtATMwasacashpoint · 29/01/2014 00:17

I bet he has very small feet - nothing grows in the shade

Original poster

newmorning · 29/01/2014 00:18

"I think it looks like Edward Miliband. I have no idea why though?"

Cos he's a giant knob?

OP posts:

LilithSternin · 29/01/2014 01:33

Jesus, that's freaky. Just had a flashback to accidentally seeing Peter Steele from Type O Negative's photographs in Playgirl magazine about fifteen years ago. The bloke was about 6'8" and in proportion-I was fourteen at the time and was freaking terrifying by the photos! I was pretty traumatised and definitely didn't just google to make sure I wasn't misremembering

Shropshiremummy2B · 29/01/2014 02:04

Dappys shlong is my party piece. I keep a screen shot in my camera roll and ask (suitable) people if they've seen it. They generally haven't. So I whack it out. It's such a crowd pleaser. You can't stare directly at it for too long. Otherwise you will turn in to Tulisa. Then I spend the following days/weeks sending said photo to said people at various intervals. Just for shits and giggles.

My husband funnily enough has a photo of a man/woman sat in a pool who is a woman but is the most grotesque, hairy thing I have ever seen. She is baffling. I WISH I could show you a link but it would give you nightmares. We clearly have very a similar sense of humour.

cupcake78 · 29/01/2014 02:08

Is that not just average considering his stature? It also looks a bit happy so would look big.

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 29/01/2014 02:18

I think it's fairly impressive, especially as he is so very miniature. In my experience dongle size is directly linked to height, so that pic has rubbished my lovely theory.

FlockOfTwats · 29/01/2014 03:04

Ellebelly Really? I've always seemed to find the opposite. Apart from one bloke with an absolutely terrifyingly huge one who i had to decline out of fear.

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 29/01/2014 03:07

Perhaps I'm generalising, but I've known one guy who was 6"7 had an absolute whopper, and several short guys who had tiddlers. Can't continue my research as now off the market!

FlockOfTwats · 29/01/2014 03:31

All the tall guys (apart from Mr Monster dick) i know are average at best! The shorter blokes i know seem to be gifted in that area!

I wonder if there has been a survey at any point haha. And what OH would think when he gets on the PC and sees 'recently searched'....

Coumarin · 29/01/2014 05:02

I still don't think it's that big. Starting to think DH is more blessed than I realised.

He's so scrawny it's definitely an optical illusion.

Coumarin · 29/01/2014 05:03

By 'He's scrawny' I mean Dippy Dappy. Obviously.

Saucia · 29/01/2014 06:04

For research purposes I want to see the dong of Richard from pointless, imagine if he is in proportion, ouch.

YouTheCat · 29/01/2014 07:37

It'll be a show-er though, so not that impressive at all... well, not compared to my lovely, quiet, unassuming partner. You really wouldn't think it to look at him.

FootieOnTheTelly · 29/01/2014 08:43

I am still worried by his weeny ankles.

WetDogLovesHubert · 29/01/2014 08:46

Scratches eyes out

It's not that big! He's also horribly scrawny.

Dawndonnaagain · 29/01/2014 08:47

How about somebody posts a link to a nude picture if a woman and we all comment

It's true, if this were Emma Watson you'd all be tearing the OP to shreds. Quite rightly.

ChalkHillBlue · 29/01/2014 08:47

It's photoshopped.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 29/01/2014 08:54

The problem with it is, is that it's attached the Dappy

Original poster

newmorning · 29/01/2014 09:15

Under all normal circumstances, I'd be suspicious of that pic's authenticity for, after all, Photoshop is a wonderful thing. What convinces me it's horribly genuine is the fact that the production crew on Celeb Big Brother must have seen it 'live' while he's showering or otherwise naked and there's no suggestion that it's anything other than enormous.

Jasmine has felt erect it in bed and Luisa has felt it soft and they were both very much impressed by its size. It's also likely that the housemates (both male and female) have seen it with their own eyes as Dappy is obviously not shy when it comes to flashing it.

Love it or hate it, I think we have to admit it's genuine.

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 29/01/2014 09:23

Pete Steele! Good times.

Beeyump · 29/01/2014 09:37

Gads, I do wish I hadn't looked - Dappy is low, low down the list of people I would have sex with only if my life absolutely, utterly depended on it.

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