I am hurt about this.

[PandaFeet]

Getting married this summer. Trying to arrange everything. We wanted a small wedding, church service and a small (as in less than 20 guests) meal after.

Anyway, it hasn't worked out like that due to both our families and their wants needs. Whatever. But trying to sort out the cars tonight and my DM tells me my DF will just meet me at the church!!

Not only has it completely thrown all the (fucking bollocks) car arrangements, but AIBU to be hurt that my dad doesn't want to travel to my wedding with me? So now we have an empty car or I will be going alone.

If I said I would just walk myself down the aisle with our children by my side, I would be told to stick to tradition (becasue everyone will see it).

I know that its only because my DM is so bloody insecure and selfish that she doesn't want to sit in the church on her own. Its always her way or nothing. Always.

So AIBU to have had enough of all this pleasing everyone else, and wanting to elope?

. I will wait and see how the land lies the next time I speak with her. I am trying to not bring the wedding up too much as I don't want her accusing me of being a bridezilla How sad she is making you feel like this about your own wedding.

You need to go and look at the stately homes thread. I think your DM has a well deserved place in there.

DM sounds like a classic narcassist . Tell them both that they have to go with your plans or not to bother coming. Stop getting bullied by her.

And frankly you Dp should be backing you up here. Regardless if he is traditional himself, why is he letting people treat you like shit?

I agree with ceebie, but tbh, I think that you need to be prepared for him to say no.

What is the idea behind him meeting you at the church?

I'm sorry but they both sound so awful it really is a shame that you are bothered.

He doesn't deserve to walk you up the aisle by the sound of things.

I would be tempted to GET ANOTHER CAR which fits your mother in too and let her have her way. let them pay the extra for a new car and I am sure that can be arranged.

she can't do much to above as she will have GOT HER OWN WAY.

But afterwards/before I'd have a strong talk and say if she pulls this stunt again you'll go NC on both her and your father.

Oh sweetie so sorry you have a mother like that.

Your mother is going to battle you all the way to your wedding and not give two hoots if you're hurt and upset.

Are your bridesmaids coming over on the morning to get dressed? Confirm that they are first. Then speak to your Dad with two options:

1. He supports you on your wedding day, comes with you in the car and walks you down the aisle, OR
2. Your bridesmaid will come with you in the car and your kids (or perhaps best man?) will walk you down the aisle.

You need to be clear about what YOU want then provide your Dad with a choice.

I hope your mother has not dictated location/flowers/colour schemes/menus? That's for you and your DP to choose. If she has, go back to it and think about whether it's what YOU and DP want. If it isn't change it. This is YOUR day.

Panda - your mum is bullying you. She is only your mother. You don't have to accept it. This is your WEDDING day. She doesn't get to dictate to you. PLEASE don't give in to her. Cut back everything to what YOU wanted, lose money if you have too but it will be worth it to get this abusive bully off your back.

OP she's a NARCISSIST.

Just elope. Don't worry about others feelings. It's not their day it's YOURS.

If you go ahead with this, ask yourself 'will I have good memories?' I'm sorry but I don't think you will

I can guarantee if you elope you will have wonderful memories and best of all NO STRESS

My mum travelled in the car with the bridesmaids so if your mum did that she wouldn't be alone. Otherwise I would tell her what is happening and don't offer the option of an alternative.

I think I would just go on holiday and return married

She sounds like a nasty piece of work who dies not care for you, why the hell are you worried about what this toxic woman feels. Do things your way and did the lot of em