to be sad that someone has stolen DD's bag at nursery?

[Mercapto]

It was one of these

It went missing last week and there is still no sign of it. I've a feeling it's gone for good as there has been a poster up in the nursery for months about Nike trainers that have gone missing.

It's not the fact it was a fancy bag that bothers me. It's the fact it belonged to my DD, it was for our first family holiday and it had a change of her clothes in it.

Everything of hers is precious to me!

Said in the nicest possible way "you need to get a grip". You have many, many years ahead of you of things going missing and whilst I think it is important that your DD respects and takes care of her belongings your attitude will cause problems for her in the future.

Your DD is "precious" material possessions are not.

It could be that a child has taken it & hidden it at home?

What do they need bags for at nursery?

Once someone put my child's name in another's coat!

I found a nice cowboy bibble in DS's nursery bag last week, presumably they thought it was his. I've washed it and will take it back this week. I've also lost some of his clothes (when they've changed him) but not got them back. Some parents will bring stuff back that's not theirs, some sadly won't. Just need to accept it.

I've only skimmed this thread so apologies if someone has already said this, but OP, if you genuinely think this bag has been stolen rather than mislaid, who do you think has stolen it?

A parent or carer, or a nursery-age child?

One of our children at school told his mum that someone had "nicked" his PE kit last week - he'd put it on the wrong peg.

Diddl, my son's nursery bag has change of clothes, spare shoes and things like teething gel etc. I also put his hat and scarf in it when we get there so less chance of them falling off his peg or getting lost.

Tbh it would be hard for a child to just take home without the parent spotting it.

We just used to have waterproof jacket & trousers, wellies & slippers at kindergarten.

Pegs got a bit crowded in winter!

Oh!

Just looked back at my post-some of it is missing!

Meant possible child took it home & parent not brought it back or hidden it somewhere in the nursery?

We've just returned a lovely boden top to nursery that turned up at the bottom of ds bag. It could have been there for weeks as we keep 2 change s of clothes in there so it only gets emptied if he goes through both sets in one fay which is rare. It could still reppear op

So basically DD's bag is gone. It may not be stolen and might still turn up. But there is the possibility we won't see it again, right?

And in the meantime I'm a mother who needs to get a grip and who's attitude is going to cause my daughter problems over my unhealthy attachment over possessions which most likely caused DD to walk out of the nursery with someone else's Nike trainers, in her pockets. Of course. This absolutely makes sense! What do you recommend I do now?

Like another poster said, it's really annoyed /bugged me, but I'll get over it. It is the blasé attitude of some people (taking DD's coat, which was a genuine accident, but not returning it in a timely manner before the wet weekend) that gets on my nerves.

To answer another poster, I label everything!

I will be buying a drawstring bag for DD instead but I'll be just as annoyed if this disappeared. There's no need for that. Why should I have to purchase more of the same no matter how cheap. Still don't appreciate that!

It is a shame we live in a world where we need to be concerned at theft wherever we go and whenever at everything we do.

Sad the bag is gone but do put photos everywhere asking for its return.
Ask parents yourself if their children took it by mistake.
We have to challenge bad behaviour somehow.

There are some funky coloured drawstring bags out there on eBay and amazon. You can still use cheap but stylish stuff.

I think some parents are light fingered.

after many years, in school/pre-school settings, I've experienced it a few times.

some parents honestly don't care if their child picks up the wrong bag/hat or whatever. They see it as a lucky gain!

NOT ALL PARENTS! obviously.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/School-Drawstring-Book-Bag-Sport-Gym-Swim-PE-Dance-Shoe-Backpack-/390543314585?pt=UK_Girls_Accessories&var=&hash=item5aee320e99

You said the coat went missing on a Friday so how could it have been brought back before the weekend?
You have yo realise not all children go home with the parent or carer who dropped them off. It is easier than you think to take someone's belongings and not realise. I have left without the nursery trousers DS borrowed three days on the run before, I have 4 DC to get ready and mornings are hectic.

I don't think anyone is saying it isn't annoying, frustrating and expensive. Just that to assume it has been stolen is a bit harsh. Pester the staff, put up posters and speak to other parents. You might get it back. I don't see what else you can do.

Someone once took my sons week old shoes after PE in reception. The ones he came home in were an 8 DS's were a 10. I used to scrutinise the playground for a child with ill fitting shoes that matched them. The teacher sent a letter home but they never came back.

I don't think yabu. It's not a bag you could accidentally take home and I think it's lively.
My dd goes to residential two nights a month ( she is disabled!) And she takes in some really nice suitcases which were a gift off family. They are gorgeous. If she came home with a cheap holdall I would be furious!

But again, it might not have been taken. It is perfectly possible that for example a CM has picked up a child and your DD's bag. That child has then gone home to the CM's. The parent has then picked the child up, and obviously left the bag because it is not their child. The CM now has a bag and no idea who left it, and isn't back at nursery for a couple of days anyway. She'll have to wait till every single parent she minds for has 'passed through' this week to check the bag isn't theirs. Then she'll bring it back to nursery, the next time she's at nursery. Which might not be for another week. Do you see what I mean?

Yes, that's a good point

I once had a swapped towel at swimming for my dd too, through school. She went in with a thick, striped towel and came home with a very worn, holey towel. I mentioned it but it never materialised, then I thought we'll if someone is that hard up they have holey towels, maybe they were grateful of a nice striped one :o so I let it go

The coat actually went home on Thursday with the child who doesn't attend on a Friday.

Nursery kindly phoned for us and found out it had indeed gone home on the Thursday with the wrong child.

I don't know the parents circumstances but personally I'd do my best to gel there jacket back to the right child who by the way didn't not have a second showerproof jacket that would withstand a wet weekend in a forest.

So it was all rather unfortunate timing for her jacket to disappear but frustrating nonetheless!

I'll admit I have thus weird ability to remember my child's exact possessions she went out with that day. DP can't. But in my defence daily items like shoes, coats, bags etc don't change very much from day to day.

She wears the same rotation of clothes and shows that don't show up stains or are scuffed anyway. I kind of know what to expect from nurseries. She's been going for over two years. I will however send her off with a plastic bag to deter potential thieves. Thanks.

But yes it might still turn up. I hope so.

Can you really remember? Do you only have the one?

I used to work with children. Where I worked, we rarely had things go missing. But we did used to get complaints about paint on nice cardigans, etc. I remember being closely questioned by one mum about why her child hadn't been wearing an apron. She had been, but some children can get paint anywhere.

I really wouldn't assume it is stolen. When DD2 was at nursery a nanny we used occasionally when we had work commitments picked her up and took someones scarf that was on her peg. We didn't see it hung up under her coat for a few days and when we did we returned it (which was the next time she went to nursery). However, by then there were very aggressive notices all over the nursery from the mother asking whoever took it to return it (strongly implying it had been stolen). It was unnecessary and embarrassing.It wasn't even a nice scarf Luckily we knew the nursery staff well and they were fully aware DH and I are not Bonnie and Clyde.

I used to drop the kids off at nursery. DP picked them up. He was home before me and would put coats away etc.

Several times I'd realise a few days/week later that we seemed to have TWO of the same item and none of another item that we should have had. Usually jackets/coats. As the boys often had matching stuff anyway it would mean noticing that we now had 3 of something where we should have two.

But because dp saw a coat on the nursery pegs same as one of ours, he assumed it was ours and would put the child in it.

And because we both worked and my mother (who does not drive) had them on a Friday, its very likely that had nursery rung to say that we'd got a wrong coat on a Thursday, then we would not have been able to return it on the Friday either.

We used to send the children in asda clothes, with more asda clothes in their cheap drawstring bags. If the odd thing went missing it didn't matter too much. The nursery dealt with 60 kids every day, some there on all combintions of 1 up to 5 days attendance, with very often different people dropping them off and picking them up. I was paying them to look after my children not spend half the time trying to remember which coat a child arrived in in the morning.

Maybe another little one saw the bag liked it and lifted it. That's happened a DS's nursery school before. Kids will be kids. You just have to hope you get an honest parent and the bag is returned. xx

If I spotted my son lifting a bag he liked, I'd just make him put it back pronto. All our bags are labelled so it's practically impossible to walk off with the wrong bag, making allowances for a CM/gp etc who wasn't familiar with the bag. Plus DS is still too little to reach the pegs and physically take his bag let alone someone else's.

It gets even more complicated when different people are dropping of and picking up. Sometimes mum might drop off, then dad collects and goes back to his house. Other times it could be a grandparent or a childminder. It's so easy to pick up the wrong thing by mistake.

I used to work at a nursery, and remember taking a phone call one November day, from a parent whose child had left that summer. The parents had split up and moved house. It was when they unpacked several months later, that they realised they had a coat that didn't belong to them and wanted to return it!

My DD (8) goes to a drama group with her friend. Friend's mum drops them off, I pick them up. Last year DD went to friends house in snowboots, so when she got to drama group she took them off and did it in her stockinged feet. When I arrived to pick them up the boots were nowhere to be seen. One of the Dads had to carry DD across the snowy muddy carpark and put her in my car for me. Turned out that another Dad had picked his DD up just before me and thought they were her boots (her mum had dropped her off) and taken them home, the group leader emailed round and they were dropped back to me the next day. It's very easily done.