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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be sad that someone has stolen DD's bag at nursery?

109 replies

Mercapto · 27/01/2014 20:58

It was one of these

It went missing last week and there is still no sign of it. I've a feeling it's gone for good as there has been a poster up in the nursery for months about Nike trainers that have gone missing.

It's not the fact it was a fancy bag that bothers me. It's the fact it belonged to my DD, it was for our first family holiday and it had a change of her clothes in it.

Sad
OP posts:
Original poster
Mercapto · 27/01/2014 21:39

I know the nursery will be thinking the same (shouldn't have brought expensive bag blah blah) or won't care but what if she had had an accident, Thursday or Friday last week and there would have been no change of clothes.

I wouldn't leave my belongings in a cloak room personally. Why should kids have to?

OP posts:
remotecontrols · 27/01/2014 21:40

You may well get it back. My DDs back was taken and returned 2 months later. Another mum had taken it home by mistake. I hope you get it back Flowers

TeenAndTween · 27/01/2014 21:40

What WhoKnows said.

Give it at least 2 weeks before thinking it has gone forever.

remotecontrols · 27/01/2014 21:40

Bag not back!

K999 · 27/01/2014 21:41

No-one saying its her fault but she doesn't know for certain that it has been stolen.........things get picked up by mistake all the time at nurseries/schools.......

K999 · 27/01/2014 21:43

Mercapto - nurseries always have spare clothing for situations like this (i.e. kids not having their own spares with them on a particular day).

brettgirl2 · 27/01/2014 21:47

everything of hers is special to me

Heave heave Hmm

Get a grip yabu.

Original poster
Mercapto · 27/01/2014 21:49

It could still turn up I guess.

DD is going through a phase where she will fill her pockets with things that she want to keep. The same could have happened with the bag if you know what I mean.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 27/01/2014 21:54

I wouldn't leave my belongings in a cloak room personally.

and where else do you think they should put everything?

YANBU to be upset that it has gone missing but seriously you need to learn to be a lot less sentimental about a few clothes and a bag!

Nothing in a cloak room at a nursery should be valuable enough that it matters if it goes missing/has paint spilled on it or whatever else.

CalamitouslyWrong · 27/01/2014 21:54

You are going to have to toughen up a bit, OP. Stuff at nursery will get ruined and lost. That's just how it is.

I'd generally start from lost for stuff at nursery, rather than stolen. It's amazing how things disappear then reappear some time down the line.

Original poster
Mercapto · 27/01/2014 21:55

I know I have an unreasonable thing going on with DD's possessions.

I was the same with her dummies when she was a baby, hairclasps etc. Can't stand losing stuff!

Just wish I could have done more to prevent this! There will always be thieves though.

OP posts:
K999 · 27/01/2014 22:00

and there will always be mothers who assume that an item has automatically been stolen..... Why don't you put up a note in the nursery saying "to the thief who stole my DDS bag, please return it'? Hmm

Original poster
Mercapto · 27/01/2014 22:02

Yes that might help the return of those Nike trainers that just went "missing"

OP posts:
breatheslowly · 27/01/2014 22:04

Our nursery is very clear - nothing should go to nursery that you would be upset to have damaged or lost. My DD takes all sorts of stuff with her to nursery, so we take the risk of it not coming back and anything really precious isn't allowed to go to nursery.

The worst thing she has lost so far is a Hello Kitty water bottle which cost £7. Lesson learnt - she now has a £3 one. Has it been stolen? Probably not, she probably was playing with it and put it in the back of a cupboard.

K999 · 27/01/2014 22:06

You said your DD likes to put things in her pockets.....maybe the Nike trainers are in there??

trixymalixy · 27/01/2014 22:07

I'd give it a few weeks before assuming its gone for good.

notso · 27/01/2014 22:10

I wouldn't leave my belongings in a cloakroom.. but you did!

Put a note up and speak to the teacher, things come back, sometimes.

Viviennemary · 27/01/2014 22:10

I agree that you shouldn't jump to conclusions that it's been stolen. It might be taken by mistake and turn up. But if somebody has stolen it yes YANBU to think that is pretty low behaviour.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 27/01/2014 22:10

Dd2 lost two items of clothing in the space of two weeks at preschool last year. I was actually furious. Yes they might have been taken in error but wouldn't you eventually realise that it wasn't bloody well yours and take it back in?

They weren't new or expensive but they were pretty and they were hers. I've got a picture of her somewhere wearing one of them and every time I see it I feel annoyed. Unfortunately some people will take anything not nailed down.

WilsonFrickett · 27/01/2014 22:11

Every time things went missing in DS nursery it was because a grandparent or Nrp had done the pick up. It then too a while for the RP to realise they had two bags or coats or whatever and then to pass messages along. We also tended to find children with the same names got things mixed up on pegs, things fell behind pegs, etc. I think it's a bit of a stretch to assume something's gone missing after a couple of days tbh.

PleaseNoMoreMinecraft · 27/01/2014 22:14

I have to admit I've been that Mum who's walked off with someone else's bag - not on purpose, but in chaos at the end of nursery I grabbed what I thought was my son's bag and took it home. Didn't spot it for a couple of days, then returned it. Similar things happened to my childrens' things. You do just learn to take in cheap stuff (pref bulk bought, especially gloves, hats, scarves etc.).

They're 7 and 9 now and still come back without stuff or someone else's things occasionally, and are always losing stuff. It happens - just don't send things in with them that you're in any way emotionally attached to.

Hope your stuff turns up! Brew

Original poster
Mercapto · 27/01/2014 22:14

Didn't have much choice regarding where we leave DD's stuff. It used to be in their rooms but now belongings must be left in the cloakroom by the entrance.

I was perhaps wondering if I'd get ideas or suggestions on here about what to do. My thanks goes to some of you Wink

OP posts:
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 27/01/2014 22:14

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00AW6TL2K/ref%3Dasc_df_B00AW6TL2K12468543/%3Ftag%3Daskcom1-21%26creative%3D22110%26creativeASIN%3DB00AW6TL2K%26linkCode%3Dasn

You would know immediately if your child came out of school/nursery with this bag. If another child had this bag the contents will be different.

I do think this bag will not be returned.

K999 · 27/01/2014 22:18

No need to thank me about the suggestion of putting up a note in the nursery Wink Grin

notso · 27/01/2014 22:18

I don't know Forty sometimes things get put in the wrong peg! and if someone else is picking up the child then they just take whatever's on the peg.

Was everything well labelled OP?