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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To want to offer up to all the fat shamers...

598 replies

WichitaLineman · 27/01/2014 13:57

... On mumsnet who peddle the old "fat people are lazy and lack will -power" or proffer their simplistic formula of "eat less, move more" an incredibly succinct description of food addiction by Marcus Brigstocke. I will admit that that sentence isn't quite so succinct Wink

"Eating is different [from drug addiction]; it's dirty, it's horrible - you do it on your own and you wear it. [With] alcohol and drugs, you have moments of sobriety, [but] you don't stop being fat. You wear it; everyone can see it - it is a brand… an overcoat of shame for everyone to see.

"You despise yourself, you make promises to yourself, you say 'I had a bad day, that was bad but that means this is baseline and I can start', then you go and break those promises and do it again, and worse.

"Eating disorders are more pervasive and subtle [than alcohol and drugs] and availability and acceptability are much higher... the ”high“ comes from the totally full-up feeling ”It is an anaesthetic. You lie like a python digesting what you have, it slows your brain down and you are physically inert. Numb and dull, that is the feeling you get."

Whilst I am not saying that every obese person is a compulsive overeater, I wold wager that most are, including myself. This has resonated with me and is the best description I have read of the self-loathing involved in compulsive overeating. It is a faulty mechanism to deal with emotional pain and the fat shamers can't cause any more shame than we already feel for ourselves.

Whilst there are many people on mn who are understanding, I am always appalled by those who aren't. Please think on this when those threads come up. Thank you.

OP posts:
IceBeing · 28/01/2014 20:52

ever It is not at all a mystery that somebody could train as a nurse then suffer some trauma in their life that caused their pre-existing food addiction issues to spiral.

There is nothing surprising that someone in health care could have mental health issues or physical health issues. Your job is separate to your health whatever your job is.

What is a fucking mystery is why anyone intelligent enough to operate a computer would come on a thread like this and say what you did.

WichitaLineman · 28/01/2014 20:54

The ones that are blanketly denying the experiences of dozens of women who have written eloquently about how they feel on this thread. How fucking dare you. I am angry for them and for me. Oh, but you haven't even bothered your arse to read them...

OP posts:
IceBeing · 28/01/2014 20:54

sobbing "I actually didn't read the thread."

Grin no shit sherlock.

Maybe you could try that next time?

threestepsforward · 28/01/2014 20:54

Wichita, I meant to also say thanks for starting this thread :)

WichitaLineman · 28/01/2014 20:55
Thanks
OP posts:
sobbingmummy · 28/01/2014 20:56

Calm down. Ive not made outrageous comments. I already said I posted before reading.

IceBeing · 28/01/2014 20:57

sorry wichi it is so bad it is funny...you know like laugh or cry time?

300 thoughtful posts on peoples real experiences and then 'ohh I know, I know - have you tried.....eating less?????'

everlong · 28/01/2014 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WichitaLineman · 28/01/2014 20:57

Thanks for that apology sobbing. Very big of you. Excuse the pun...

OP posts:
sobbingmummy · 28/01/2014 20:58

Sorry x

WichitaLineman · 28/01/2014 21:01

I was until recently that overweight everlong.

Am I not worthy of a job? Or should I just make sure it isn't in healthcare?

OP posts:
Mimishimi · 28/01/2014 21:01

Hmmm... I don't think the OP is really offering another perspective. I absolutely agree that people should keep their nasty comments or unsolicited advice to themselves but saying that it's an addiction doesn't make it ok - just as being addicted to cigarettes is just something that people have to overcome if they want better health.

SugarMouse1 · 28/01/2014 21:02

I've never noticed people 'fat shaming' tbh.

People do say things to me all the time though about me being quiet, which is cruel and pig ignorant. I am only as quiet as I am because I became self-conscious about it when teachers said it all the time.

You might as well ask someone why they are black, gay or disabled.

Fucking stupid.

IceBeing · 28/01/2014 21:02

ever it is as okay to be that over weight as to suffer from OCD, or to suffer from cancer...or depression...or ...well you know any other deep seated difficult to cure health problem that isn't actively contagious.

Obviously it would be better if we could cure all of these mental and physical health problems. But we can't. So we probably shouldn't round up people suffering from them and tell them they are inappropriate for paid work.

threestepsforward · 28/01/2014 21:03

Sobbing I think you do sound well informed about everything diet/health related except for the psychological aspects of overeating/binging, and how it really doesn't come down to a love of food at all, but rather the self-hatred of the person, in my case anyway.

You said you haven't read the thread, but you really should do as it's possibly a real eye-opener for anyone who hasn't experience of an eating disorder x

suskia · 28/01/2014 21:05

I wouldn't employ a dentist with rotten teeth.
Nurses as front line health professionals should be practising what they preach.
Last week my blood pressure was taken by a nurse so fat that when she leant forward she couldn't breathe. She then gave me a talk about the importance of having healthy BP. WTF?!
And this was nothing to do with shifts and all that - this was the practise nurse at the GPs. The receptionists are fat too.

The British people are getting fatter by the day - 1 in 10 children is obese by the time they start school. This generation will predecease their parents from entirely avoidable illnesses simply because they ate too much crap and didn't get enough exercise. How anyone can think that is acceptable is beyond me.

sobbingmummy · 28/01/2014 21:05

I copied it from an article I was reading the other day.

www.kernelmag.com/features/report/6051/you-eat-too-much/#

IceBeing · 28/01/2014 21:05

sugar please read everlongs posts where she says she isn't sure if it is okay for people over a certain weight to work in the NHS. This is an example of fat shaming. It is telling people they have less value to society simply because of their weight.

WichitaLineman · 28/01/2014 21:06

In what way is it not ok?

Am I saying it is ok?

Step 1. Of the 12 step programme for addiction:

We admitted we were powerless over food—that our lives had become unmanageable.

OP posts:
IceBeing · 28/01/2014 21:07

OMG what happened? Is there a 300 post limit on sensible discourse and then its all 'fat shaming isn't real - fat people actually shouldn't be allowed to work or be seen in public'

WichitaLineman · 28/01/2014 21:08

Fucks sake, not you too Suskia? Read the bloody threadAngry

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IceBeing · 28/01/2014 21:08

suskia seriously? What if the dentist was a shit hot dentist with a genetic abnormality that affected their teeth? Are you normally this disablist in your thinking?

everlong · 28/01/2014 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

suskia · 28/01/2014 21:19

Sorry but that really is hysterical - in both senses of the word!
And yes I have read the thread thank you.
And no I am not disablist either. Hmm

I'd like to know something - would you get counselling about giving up alcohol from someone who was actively abusing substances?
Do you think someone who is grossly overweight is in any position to tell people what to do with their health in relation to weight and BP?

WichitaLineman · 28/01/2014 21:19

How can you condone or not condone it? If you understand some of the reasons how would you propose to deal with it? The term condone is absurd. As if you have the moral authority to condone someone else's weight. Extraordinary. Confused

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