certain phrases which give me the irrational rage. Anyone else?

[NolansEpicDressSense]

'is your husband babysitting?' actually that's not an irrational one. It annoys the fuck out of me.

'I am eating my meal'. No you're not, you're eating your breakfast/dinner/tea/lunch/supper/whatever you want to call it, not your meal.

"Thank you for your email. I am currently out of the office between Monday 1st and Friday 5th"

No, no, no. Either you are out currently and will return on the 5th or you're out of the office between Monday and Friday. Not both.

D'ya know what I mean?
"Sweet" (kids at school saying it now when impressed; it used to be "ledge" as in legend)

'minidealer has failed to complete her homework, she was given a detention but failed to arrive and failed to inform us'
- is that teacher trying to tell me something?

if yous ia being used collectively then surely no need to specify the number of people to which it refers. it's common slang.

The reason why - the reason IS why ffs.
Baby Mamma.
Anyhoo.
A little bit of sick just came in my mouth.
I was like,she was like,I was like...
Reality show contestants talking about their "journeys".
Wine o' clock.
Facebook friends who are constantly feeling blessed.

I text him
Littleman / little lady
Gawjus
Lil
Prolly
Quite unique - unique is an absolute term
Discrete instead of discreet
My bad
Perfect (said by a colleague when she's not listening)
This is it
Not being funny but
So I turned round and
Diarise
He done it
I'm going Asda

Just to start with...

When push comes to shove

'LOL' at 'feeling blessed'.

I'll add that one to my list.

Oh, and questions ending in "no"

Phased instead of fazed.

moist

at the end of the day (jeremy kyle show anyone?)

reem (what does it mean?)

asdonians (as in someone who shops in asda. What is wrong with Asda!)

"...is more bigger than yours" / "is more better than yours" and so on

oh and "by the skin of my teeth"

diarise is the correct term.

Me thinks.....

"off my own back"

who says 'diarise' is correct?? it's a horrible term!

Pretty please - really loathe that

Back in the day

Hun, bubs etc

Having a little blub

At this moment in time

Bootylicious

Shouldn't of

Didn't ought to

"Rant over" usually written after a moan that wasn't really a rant.
And you can tell it's over, because it's over. You don't write "sentence over" when you've finished a non-rant!
Gah

"Oh my days". Seems to be a very 'Essex' one. I live in Essex. I hear it multiple times a day, and it makes me very stabby!

Trust me

I don't mean to be rude but....(invariably followed by some rude or tactless remark)

Horses for courses

Gets on my tits

"The wife" "the missus"

My better half

Ibrufen. It's fucking ibuPROfen.

I think we all agree that..... No we don't!

Pacific for specific makes me want yo put my fingers in my ears and run away. At the end of the day yes, Ex, at the end of the day I'm glad you are my ex so I don't have to hear this for the hundredth time today.

Blud. And other teenager speak in general. Have you ever tried to follow the conversation of teenage girls? Only every third word is recognisable as English.

"Can we help you with/ to...?" when they want you to do something or "How can we help you to improve...". Hate it.

everything has gone "tits up"
ffs