certain phrases which give me the irrational rage. Anyone else?

[NolansEpicDressSense]

'is your husband babysitting?' actually that's not an irrational one. It annoys the fuck out of me.

'I am eating my meal'. No you're not, you're eating your breakfast/dinner/tea/lunch/supper/whatever you want to call it, not your meal.

'Singing from the same hymn sheet' (I'm getting cross just typing it )

'To be honest ..' (please just dont be)

the incorrect usage of the word 'Myself' '

'I'm not just saying this to be cruel' ( oh yes you are )

'Fair enough' .. (and yes I mean you DS)

'What's life without a laugh?' .. (said about 10 times every day until I could scream .. and yes, dear colleague I am pointing at you )

Yes yes! 'Pan-fried' arrgghh !

'You don't have to be mad to work here...but it helps!'

People who put an 'r' when there is no hint of one e.g. Chicargo, arear (instead of area)

Following on from Doctor and Baby, 'The Breast' Put Baby on The Breast for Doctor to see. So my tits have taken on their own identity as well as morphing into one huge mammary?

When people use the word uber I get really pissed off. 'I'm uber excited about going out on Saturday evening'

It make me want to scream and cringe at the same time.

wyld
I say 'fink', 'can I...', drop 'h' or 't' in words and say 'eh?''. Tbf, the first and third are my accent, but even so,

I really hate 'basically'. 'So, basically, I did....' It's a filler word. Annoying.

Oh, and 'PMSL'. Did you really?

haha this made me laugh.
I hate
"and I was like.."
"I turned around and said.."
"I genuinely.."
"Can you do us a favour..." when its the one person asking.. us? Do you have split personalities?
"Can you borrow me.." annoys me too!
"You''ll never guess what.." and then expecting me to respond with "what?" feck off.
"I literally died of embarrassment"

Overuse of 'generic' and 'random'.
Use of 'like' when the speaker actually seem to mean 'fancy' ( a facecloth influence I think)
Also second "I text him yesterday" ugh.
"Battled cancer" , dropping the 'with" or "against"
"Concerning" instead of "of concern"
" I was sat" - gives me the rage with red mist.
Less and fewer used incorrectly.
Tautologies- personal belongings, work colleagues etc.
Oh yes, I am a grumpy old cow!

FAO of - this kills me! For the attention of of? That makes no sense? Wth?

"please May you" is cute to me if dd (5) says it.

"babysitting" is my term for when Dh doesn't look after dd properly I.e he doesn't get on with bedtime routine when I'll be back late but watches a film with her so I have to do it all when I get there.

"I turned round and said" is v annoying though.

Yes yes to 'pan fried ' and ' I turned around and said'..... Arrrggghhh
Also use of 'piece' to refer to a fashion item or work of art.
'Pant' and 'trouser' has always mystified and enraged in equal measure.

'Picked out' rather than 'chosen'. Twee Americanism.

In fashion - "trending" and "luxe"
Everywhere - I'm loving it"

"So and so has recommended me a so and so"

"Can you recommend me a so and so?"

Surely that's not right?

The riding/horse riding/ riding on horseback thing dates back to Nancy Mitford 's essay "U and non-U " about was and what was not correct (upper) middle class usage. It began as a classic tease in their set that fed in to social anxieties at the time. Betjeman's poem "phone for the fish knives Norman" is full of allusions to it - and very funny too.

I/he/she/they turned round and said.... So they all spun round on the spot did they? For extra rage, truncate the word turned and make it "turnt".
I know this isn't a word, but anyone who clearly isn't black or Jamaican, speaking as if they just stepped off the SS Windrush. No matter what they have to say, I can't concentrate when people speak to me in fake accents.If you're going to affect an accent, why not be Poirot? At least it would make the (short) conversation funny.

"Best" instead of "best wishes" on emails.
Getting fewer and less the wrong way round.
When R4 newsreaders say, for example, "Nelson Mandela's died" - why can't they just say "has died". (I've no idea why that one irritates me and suspect IABU.)
"Under the circumstances" rather than "in the circumstances"

Just a few that spring to mind!

When every sentence ends with if that makes sense

When people used "pissed" when they actually mean "pissed off" rather than drunk.

'Fair enough' ARGH! What? It means nothing and is often used in a horrible passive aggressive way.

'At the end of the day' I don't think I need to say any more about this one.

"Pan fried" is to distinguish it from frying in a deep fat fryer isn't it?

Any comment followed by the words "no offence!" and a bright smile. Guaranteed to be offensive!

"Frape" gets right on my tits.

"Grinds my gears" - you're not a freaking car.

"I was reading in the Daily Mail..." - in which case, I don't want to hear the end of that sentence.