To wonder if the phrase 'steamy romp'.

[ComposHat]

has ever been used in a context other than a tabloid kiss and tell story?

I have never heard it used in real life, but it seems to be the sexual euphemism of choice in the tabloids.
Anyway it always amuses me.

And if you're really bad you will be caged for life.

Luckily, we've still got plenty of hard-working families around, though there may be a problem with the squeezed middle.

Don't forget those 'dangerous curves' which lead to the steamy romp.

What is a dangerous fucking curve anyway??

Steamy romps are indeed for footballers/stunnahs featured in tabloids.

Bonkfests are for middle aged housewives and their 18 year old sons best friend who write into take a break.

The rest of us make do with a quick, muted shag while the baby's in bed.

I've just been caught red-handed having a secret tryst with my toy-boy.

This has led to crisis talks with my spurned hubby in our luxury detached home.

He has been left devastated. I am begging for forgiveness. He's my world.

I met my much-younger lover while on a holiday with the girls in Marbella.

It was to celebrate my pal Sharon's forthcoming nuptials. She's about to wed her childhood sweetheart in a moving ceremony in a top-notch hotel in Hove.

It will be a no-expense-spared bash, awash with champagne.

I had a steamy romp with a bungling burglar.

dangerous curve

Please don't forget the most important aspect of any extra marital nookie... how much the shagged-in house is worth. Not to mention how many kids women have.

The blonde mother of two enjoyed steamy romps in his 525k love nest.

I abandoned my two golden-haired cherubs for a fortnight of steamy romps in the sun with my sexy Lothario Paolo (22).

"Though I can't help wondering if today's plucky pensioners were yesterday's mindless yobs."

That's so true. Via intermediate stage of caring postman.

I just keep reading it as steamy mop

I've been a wife and mother for far too long

Yy to caring postman. Or caring mum.

Or doting mum.

I am steamy romping right now as we type

I sizzle in my revealing one piece. I enjoy three in a bed romps with notorious lot hairdo Russell brand.

Translation.

I'm feeling warm in my dressing gown. I tried to get Russell brands autograph and failed.

Lot hairdo equals lothario of course!

Are you, Any Fucker?

I'm engaging in a kinky three in a bed sex session.

How about slebs' "night of shame" with "vice girl"? They sometimes end with a "secret love child", who may or may not turn out to be a "tragic tot", or when older and female, a "wildchild" who hobnobs or rubs shoulders with it girls...

This is like the joyous Take a Break thread all over again

...or a hell-raiser, if it's a boy, BOF.

Either way, that tragic tot is going to be a notorious party animal.

Until he or he meets the love of their life and turns their back on the red-carpet lifestyle. They'll opt for quiet nights in playing board games in their tasteful yet homely abode.

He or she

Their happiness will be sealed by the announcement of a much-longed for pregnancy.

The mother-to-be will be serene and effortlessly glamorous.

Or, in a tragic twist of fate, she will be dubbed a brave mum battling addiction?