To want to actually punch DH in the face?

[MrsPeeWee]

For slurping his tea and giving it the almighty "ahhh" once hes taken the loudest swallow.
I could literally reach over and slap it out if his hands.

Please share equally annoying moments your DH's regularly do, so I feel less the angry housewife. sniggers

Loud, dragged out yawning. Loud nose blowing. Talking gibberish with the kids to wind me up.

I lovely the arse off him though.

Actually I think posters are right that if a man had posted that about his wife he'd have been jumped on, but there's a good reason for that.

On average 2 women a week are killed by their partners and yes I know dv affects men too but not to the same degree.

My ex fractured my skull, perforated my ear drum and kicked the shit out of me when I was pg causing ds to be born at 28 wks and have serious health concerns.

He did this with his bare hands.

I'd be lucky to bruise dh with my hands.

I think that's why rightly or wrongly the reactions are different.

Since a shame that people automatically set out to think the worst of people. It's all about intent. Clearly the OP never intended to resort to DV. I too never had my sense of humour or spirit knocked out of me.

My goodness there are so many serious things i could chose to get offended at, because it is a choice! I don't. People are generally good people with the odd few bad un's thrown in. I won't allow myself to become offended at everything that had negatively touched on my life because it's self destructive and affects others too. Make the choice not to be offended.

My DH snores badly and farts too. clearly I'm perfect do he has no complaints, or at least he shouldn't have if I've trained him properly

Yes joysmum it's humour that has always kept me going to be honest.

Tbh most humour could offend somebody couldn't it?

Dh slept in the spare room last night to avoid waking me early today. I have been teasing him by text all day about withholding marital rights,
I bet if I'd posted that I'd have got a good pasting

Mr Batkins holds his cup of coffee/tea with two hands, like a woman. Then he lovingly blows into his hot drink in a futile attempt at cooling down his drink. This fails, because his breath is not an Arctic Blast, so he slurps his drink out of the cup because it is too hot to drink normally.

But I would NEVER punch him in the face, no matter now annoying he is. I'd be much more devious than that

Ohh Marmalade... Does he also blow so hard that he causes a 'wave' of it to fly out of the cup? Then chortle annoyingly about him not knowing his own strength... then not clean up the spill properly...?

Very occasionally, my husband says that I've kicked him in my sleep. I have no knowledge of this, obviously, but I can only surmise that I must have been dreaming of his air-blowing antics at the time.

He doesn't do that, actually.

I am glad. I don't think that my rage could handle him being any more irritating when he's manning a hot drink...

My dh wiggles his foot when he is watching Telly...very, very annoying especially if I'm trying to read. He then puts a hurt look on his face when I tell him to FUCKING STOP DOING THAT!!!
He is also the most untidy sleeper ever. In the morning his side looks like its been churned and his pillows launched across the room whereas the only sign I have shared the bed is a little hollow in my pillow....I'm perfect me!

Oh do fuck off.

My DH drinks herbal tea out of a flipping bone china cup.
I have no idea where the cup came from. It irritates me.

It irritates me that he drinks herbal tea anyway and says "ooh how lovely". It irritates me that it has to be a china cup. I always always want to make it in a massive Sports Direct mug..I don't though.
I also quite often want to throw it on the floor and claim it was an accident.

So don't tell me about holding a cup like a woman because I win. I think my DH is a woman in disguise

I started a thread about DH's womanly cup-holding ages ago and got bollocked for it.

Probably by the same mardy arses on here.

I got bollocked on that thread as well.

It was joyful.

I punched DP once, playfully messing around, he clutched his chest and groaned, I'd popped a rib out.

I so want to punch DH went he munches too loudly. I begin to sweat and have to leave the room it makes me sooooo . I never do punch him though. Like I never scream at my boss "You're a total bitch, I hate you and I resign" although it has gone through my head.

I've never hit any one and I don't have anger issues. DH has never hit me or anyone else but I bet he would have happily punched me on occasion. People do have aggressive thoughts and feelings. Just best not express them ever, especially online, it seems.

The 'actually' in the title is what leads to the thread being seen as potentially a serious one. Had it been 'to want to punch DH in the face', I'd have seen it as not a literal threat, but looking at it, I read it as a 'no, I really do actually want to do this' statement. I think sarahbumbarer made a similar point earlier so I don't think this is just me.

It is possible to express aggressive feelings without phrasing them in terms of violence. The OP could have posted 'to want to scream at my DH' 'to be driven to distraction by my DH's...' or something like that, but she didn't.

There is a double standard at work here. Had it been a man posting about a DW the reaction would have been very different. I don't like it. I have no problem with people posting about how things their partners do annoy them, but I don't like it phrased like this, and any of us can say that if we want to. I'm waiting for someone to say it's political correctness gone mad.

Hilarious Tara, you must be proud

Yanbu. That Sound is fucking annoying

I think the use of the word 'actually' was ment in the same way that people now use 'literally'. To be taken to show an emphasis.

And when DH takes off one sock and takes ages before removing the second sock,it makes me actually literally want to kick him in the goolies

Oh for God's sake!

Mumsnet is getting choked to death by an invasion of self-righteous, politically correct, idiots!

'Oh no, you can't say that because it offends me'. As if your offense trumps other people's right to say what they want.

Being offended doesn't afford you any rights, it certainly doesn't oblige the person who offended you to retract their statement.

'I'm offended.' Well, so fucking what?!

And now for my actual contribution.

My DP has a thing about itching as soon as he gets in bed. He usually scratches one leg with his foot and then swaps. Jiggles the bed all over the place.

Makes me want to kick him in the goolies.

We bought new mugs today. He put them on the mug tree. They all pointed in different directions. Surely even the most insensitive cretin understands that mugs should chase each other round the tree??!!!

Great then let's go back to the days of calling people of a different race derogatory terms because well it's up to them if they are offended the PO they are. Those being offensive have no need to apologise, it's the PO being offended as usual.

Elder, I would actually want to shout at my DH if he mid- hung mugs. I wouldn't, but I'd actually want to.

To be fair on the people getting arsey, the last time an obviously lighthearted thread like this was posted (a dh was chewing too loudly), MNHQ deleted it for not being in the spirit of the site. Threads about strangling mil, slapping friends etc since have managed to stay though. Consistent

Fut... but if we're not very careful this wonderful chatboard is likely to become a stilted mass of ineffectual, disjointed and disclaimered-to-the-hilt pseudo-conversations that nobody will want to read or contribute to.

Sometimes I feel like one of the mugs on Elder's new mug tree... chasing around pointlessly and more often than not, facing the wrong direction...