To want to actually punch DH in the face?

[MrsPeeWee]

For slurping his tea and giving it the almighty "ahhh" once hes taken the loudest swallow.
I could literally reach over and slap it out if his hands.

Please share equally annoying moments your DH's regularly do, so I feel less the angry housewife. sniggers

well if it's any help to make it less one sided.... I think DH looks like he might spark me out when I eat cereal in the eve while watching TV (light hearted!). I can't seem to help it though, even if I crunch slowly it is amplified! I usually give up and move to another room until I have finished
DH in general doesn't have a great tolerance for noise associated with food/drink, he felt very edgy whilst on the train the other day, when another commuter was crunching an apple in his ear! Which I must admit would make me a bit twitchy!

I could have started this thread.

My DH has also started a really weird breathing thing where he blows his lips up!

Drives me fucking insane. I am considering poisoning him.

Oh FFS.

If we have to start putting in thread titles now I am going.

It's ridiculous. The title apparently offended so e people but was it not obvious from the rest of the OP that it was not actually happening?

Tants! Where've you been. Not stumbled across you for ages.

I have been married for 24 years and Love him to bits...but he sooooo annoys me sometimes as I'm sure/know I do him! Once after no sleep because of his snoring, I said to a mother I know 'I want to put a breadknife in his ribs' (I have NEVER hurt anyone and am a calm nice person!) It was a joke but it backfired and she was shocked and had a go at me. I apologised and now only say things like this to close friends. I know it was just a figure of speech OP...And yes I do feel like this sometimes.

oh for goodness sake! I am not going to justify it. I think its clear for anyone to see its light hearted. If you didn't like the thread, leave it and move on. Why get yourselves in a pickle over nothing?

It makes cringe when people make a joke out hitting their partner. It minimizes DV and can deeply upset victims. I'm in a good place now, but two decades ago things like this felt like a huge slap in the face, like everything I'd been through was just someone else's source of amusement. My then partner beat me for the type of things mentioned in this thread, and it wasn't fucking lighthearted.

Obviously you aren't going to punch your husband, but I bet you wouldn't be amused if he joked he was going to rape you because you put an empty milk carton back in the fridge. I think by now everyone but the bottom feeders have caught onto the fact that rape 'jokes' aren't funny, so can we please add DV 'jokes' to the list of things that are inappropriate, idiotic, offensive and potentially very damaging to say.

Honestly, if you dont like something just leave the thread!

I have suffered all kinds of abuse but have maintained my sense of humour thank goodness.

at exit

I've been hiding

I refuse to justify any comment with so I've been avoiding posting too much in case I get in trouble

Well at least I am not too thick to understand irony monetbyhimself

Good. I'm glad you realised it was a 'light hearted' comment.

Use your hide button

Yea I agree with suelford as well . .

And if people like that are driving others from Mumsnet it makes a change . . usually its those self obsessed, oh so perfect, don't let others have an opinion who drive people away . .
DV is NOT funny when you have lived it believe me !! I really feel for some of your Husbands . .

Oh bully for YOU myroomisatip .

My husband chews soup. I'm talking liquid soup, no chunks. I hear him slurp it off the spoon then his teeth grind together as he swills it around his mouth. I don't give him soup often

FFS. I've suffered DV, but he didn't beat my sense of humour out of me!

And for what it's worth, if EXACTLY the same OP was written by a man, it would still be funny- because it's clearly not serious.

Soon there will be nothing left we are 'allowed' to joke about.

YANBU - I want to jump on my DH when he eats with his mouth open and chews loudl with a smacking and smelting sound. He sounds like a bloody camel grrrr...

ffs there are some reet busy body types - i think the need to question the clarity of their lens with which they have come to view the world. so sad.

Yes, this is exactly what MN has come to when you have to put lighthearted in the title.
Just read the op's post, it's clearly a joke.
Just like me saying I'm going to kill that dog when he used to chew me out of house and home when he was a pup.
Readers, I didn't.

I find thread titles with irritating, surely we can work it out for ourselves.

There's a lot of PO types on MN these days.

Yes, this is exactly what MN has come to when you have to put lighthearted in the title.

I really don't think anybody is under the illusion that it was a serious threat, its more the massive double standards that is an issue.

I'm with the poster who said to rolls eyes and move onto the next thread if you don't like it.

Re having the urge to slap people, I could quite happily slap most of my work colleagues who irritate the hell out of me. Unfortunately I have to settle for sarcasm as my weapon of choice.

I really don't think anybody is under the illusion that it was a serious threat, its more the massive double standards that is an issue

I agree with the double standard point but also from the thread title it was not obvious at all that it was not a serious threat. It was certainly not obvious that it was going to be a joke thread.

Can we joke about "retards" and "nutters" on Mumsnet now too? Or is just DV fair game?