Christmas present and s.I.l

[HuntingforBunting]

I just wondered what the majority felt the point of a Christmas present is and weather I am being unreasonable. Is it giving something you think the recipient will like even if you yourself are not that keen, or is it giving something you would like to give even if the person is not very interested? My sister in law comments on my lack of core muscles around my tummy which I try not to take too personally as it is true, I am more of an apple shape but I always have been. I have also had some back trouble since ds. For Christmas she said she would pay for one session with her physio, about 100 miles from where I live. This physio session would help me to exercise my core muscles properly, she says. My mother in law said that her Christmas present to me was the follow up session. I have no wish to travel to do this, and don't particularly want a physio session. Nothing has been mentioned since, so I asked.dh what to do. He said I needed to ask for the money and then do it. I'm a bit agog, especially as sil this year asked outright for what she wanted and I gave her the money immediately as she said she wanted to pick them out.

Am I being unreasonable to think this isn't really the spirit of giving?

Sounds awful
Yanbu

Just to be clear, I am uncomfortable asking for use money and a bit cross about it!

Thanks pussycat

If it was something you actually wanted to do, then it should be at a physio of your choice, not one so far away. 100 miles of driving after would undo the good work!

As it isn't what you want, they should give you money or vouchers for something you'd like.

Did you actually turn it down when it was offered?

Oh my goodness YANBU. Don't bother with the usual smile and not and go straight to uttering bigger off.

No I didn't turn it down as that's a bit like opening a present and being like no I don't want this... Bit awkward I thought.

Bugger off might have more on an impact.

I'd just leave it. And 100 miles?? That's madness. One session wouldn't help anyway as they would need to assess you first and then work out a course of action.

So - they have not actually bought you vouchers or anything like that but your DH is telling you to ask them for the money and then use it for something you do not actually want.

All your in-laws sound a bit...odd (including your DH)!

They had clearly not had time ahem to buy me a present so came up with this at the last minute, but give me the cash surely at least and not make me ask for it?

Haha Manchester it might have!

Well I would NEVER ask for cash in this situation. But they are pretty bad for just having not bothered to do/get you anything.

No, dh not suggesting I use the money for what I want, I would assume from experience that the money will only be for what she wants to give it for, if you see what I mean

I think its a pretty shit present. Ask them for the cash and then spend it on

1. a local physio if you genuinely have a problem that you want seen
2. a pilates course if you want
3. gin and chocolates

For some strange reason the third option is calling to me

But there are things I do want and need, would I be unreasonable to say look I don't want the physio but how about vouchers for a local massage, which Iwould like?

No I don't think you should. Your DH should.

I find this boggling. Have you or DH been in the habit of discussing your body?

Chaz gin and chocolate sounds good to me! Natasha, they are c section related. I will look into your suggestion.

Travelling for 100 miles twice would probably cost more than the physio session, which it sounds like you don't want anyway.

I would cut my losses, not ask for the money and not bother with the physio either. And remember this for future reference, no gifts in return. If asked, how about a root canal at a dentist 100 miles from them?

Sorry your in laws are so shite x

I think I would just "forget" about it. And if reminded would always be too busy to attend. What an awful present.

No not at all!!!

I was mortified to have my tummy brought up yet again which is perhaps why I didn't really know what to say. Sil also gives me advice on moving my facial muscles less so I will be less wrinkly. Seriously. And she demonstrates to me her caring face without the use of brow muscles.

Wow.

I think that would be fine. Ask for something you'd like given they haven't actually spent any money yet. Hope they agree to getting you a massage instead :)

I hope you have fun thinking of suitable birthday gifts for DSIL and DMIL this year .

It is a shit present isn't it!! I am not being unreasonable I think we can declare unless others think otherwise...