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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get rid of the cleaner

43 replies

Somersetlady · 22/01/2014 21:55

She is relatively new to me after having had a great girl who got to know exactly how i liked things done. I spent 2 days with the new cleaner showing her how i liked things done and have also explained things i have been not completely happy with since in a conversational way.

The new girl is a 40 yo mum of three who has been to me four times. She is ok as a cleaner (hard to match the last one who was brilliant but moved abroad).

On her last 3 visits she has:

Scratched the aga by cleaning it with a brillo pad
Broken 2 windows by forcing them open (they are turn and tilt) costing me €100 to get fixed.
Today forced open my curtains without using the pully system so they now wont open or close. I will now have to get this fixed also.

She is a really nice girl but just seems to have no respect for my house or stuff.

I saw her going at the aga with the metal and showed her where it was scratching but the other two 'incidents' i discovered after she had left.

AIBU to just get rid of her before she does anymore damage or should i try and have a conversation about treating things with respect and not forcing things just asking if she is unsure?

OP posts:
VampyreofTimeandMemory · 22/01/2014 21:56

i'm not sure it's about lack of respect, maybe she's just a bit clumsy? that said, if you're not happy, get rid...

beeny · 22/01/2014 21:57

Get rid of her

LondonBus · 22/01/2014 22:03

The new girl is a 40 yo mum of three

She's hardly a girl, then! Grin

"Get rid" sounds a bit harsh...maybe you could "let her go".

DollyHouse · 22/01/2014 22:04

She's not a girl.

tshirtsuntan · 22/01/2014 22:06

Do it yourself?

Weelady77 · 22/01/2014 22:07

I agree do it yourself

LightsPlease · 22/01/2014 22:10

Oh no not the aga!

Original poster
Somersetlady · 22/01/2014 22:15

Lady sounded wrong too! Girl is no better!!

Vampy - a clumsy cleaner i think thats just out it into perspective - i would say heavy handed!

She only does 6 hours a week and half of my wonders how many more things can go wrong, i think maybe she just doesn't think about things before she does them. Today i also had to ask her to stop using a floor sweeping brush on the walls and ceiling!

Tshirtsuntan thats really helpful why didn't i think of that! I don't need to justify myself to you but If i hadn't had major back surgery, i could run my own company, work a sixty hour week, have time to do horse and dogs properly and still manage to clean the place myself then i probably would

OP posts:
Blondieminx · 22/01/2014 22:16

YANBU to terminate her employment but be factual about it, explain that due to incidents x y and z it's costing you more to put right the damage she's causing than you're paying her, so best all round to stop the business relationship.

YABU to call your cleaner a girl though - considering her age and that she is grown up enough to manage her own 3 kids and a job. I suspect that you might be coming across as a bit superior/patronising.

If you can afford a cleaner and would prefer to provide employment for someone else to do the dull chores while you do something more interesting. then good for you! Really cannot see the point in the snarky "just do your own cleaning" responses on this thread...

Blondieminx · 22/01/2014 22:18

Sorry x post, slow typing on phone Blush see you've already addressed the terminology point!

Sorry to hear about your back, that sounds hard Sad

SecretWitch · 22/01/2014 22:23

You certainly do not need to justify your need for a cleaner. How you choose to spend your money is entirely up to you. It does sound like she is unsatisfactory. I would let her go, as she is costing you moneyeach time she cleans.

Another one to add a 40 year old is not a girl. The use of that word does sound condescendin.

Original poster
Somersetlady · 22/01/2014 22:26

Thanks Blondieminx for the constructive advice. I also don't see the point in the sarky responses but you know what they say you judge at your own level. Those assuming that i am just lazy would probably love a cleaner for those 'dull' tasks as they have been described!

I think anyone thats has undertaken major back surgery would probably far prefer to do everything that they could pre operation but you don't come on mumsnet and expect everyone to be able to think of the bigger picture or consider the reasons behind something a small minority just prefer to batter and judge!

Apologies for calling her a girl though it wasn't meant to be offensive!

OP posts:
tshirtsuntan · 22/01/2014 22:28

Sorry you hurt your back and you're absolutely right you have no need to justify yourself to me, it's just that your initial post came across quite badly imo, 2 days to tell/teach someone how to clean for 6 hours a week seems excessively picky. If you Don't want "the girl" to clean your house any more just tell her, as you said, no need to justify it on here.

Belize · 22/01/2014 22:29

I would 'let her go' before she destroys your house!

6 hours help a week must be wonderful and very understandable in your position.

Blondieminx · 22/01/2014 22:32

AIBU can be quite erm... Forthright! I've only started a couple of AIBU's in 5yrs of mumsnetting and have had my hard hat to hand Wink

Wishing you a speedy recovery from your op Smile

Original poster
Somersetlady · 22/01/2014 22:32

Do i have to stop saying she's a lovely girl about people i like? I am relatively new to an area and said just today said about a lady up the road 'yes I've met her she's a lovely girl' is that condescending also or could it be a regional thing?

A common greeting here is 'well girl'......

It's a genuine question i am not being facetious become i become the facetious one thats too lazy to do her own housework

OP posts:
FoxOff · 22/01/2014 22:33

It might be lack of respect but it might be that she comes from a home where they don't have anything expensive or complicated. If people are brought up in a home where's there's not really a lot to damage, and then move into a similar home of their own, sometimes they never learn how to take care of expensive items.

Original poster
Somersetlady · 22/01/2014 22:37

Thank you all - wasn't sure where to post as couldn't find home help or anything similar!

I think i will bow out of AIBU in future. My biggest problem is probably that i would rather be doing it myself and am unable so find it incredibly frustrating that i have to try and get something done by someone else when i like how i do it.

Yours sincerely the lazy, facetious control freak

OP posts:
Original poster
Somersetlady · 22/01/2014 22:39

Thanks Foxoff i would never have considered that as a reason either.

OP posts:
PollyPutTheKettle · 22/01/2014 22:39

Yanbu to let her go as if she carries on like this you won't have a house left. I am not sure why you feel the need to ask a bunch of strangers though - she's broken two windows, a curtain pulley system and scratched your cooker. Enough already.

YABU for calling her a 'girl' It's a ridiculous label for a 40 year old woman.

Blondieminx · 22/01/2014 22:43

RTFT before posting please!

There is a Good Housekeeping topic btw Smile

Belize · 22/01/2014 22:43

I've posted on here for a decade and have never risked AIBU !!!

Belize · 22/01/2014 22:45

polly isn't the whole point of an anonymous forum to ask a whole bunch of strangers Hmm

Viviennemary · 22/01/2014 22:48

I think you've no choice but to get rid of her before she does any more damage. If I ever have a cleaner again which isn't very likely I'd probably go through an agency. Far easier to change if you get somebody unsuitable for one reason or another. So it's worth the extra I think.

Original poster
Somersetlady · 22/01/2014 23:24

Pollyoutthekettle on

I thought an anonymous online forum would be the perfect place to talk about 'domestic staffing issues' as the woman is local and i dont want to badmouth her to anyone else that might avail of, and be totally happy with, her services or that might happen to be her friend or have DCs that are friendly with her DCs as i just don't think that would be fair on her.

Apologies as I have obviously misunderstood the whole point of a public forum. There was i thinking it could be used to garner a variety of opinions from a wide circle of people who might be able to make me consider my own behaviour to a challenging situation. I consider myself corrected.

OP posts: