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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think refering to your friends as aunty/uncle X is a bit strange?

101 replies

GimmeDaBoobehz · 22/01/2014 19:39

I have several friends with young children under the age of 10.

For some reason they all refer to me as 'aunty S' to their children.

I don't mind being referred to as this at all but just thought it a bit weird/strange as they also have biological aunties/uncles so why wouldn't they just call me S?

Am I the only one who finds it a bit bizarre and if you do this, is there any particular reason?

Lighthearted thread, just genuinely curious.

OP posts:
NigellasDealer · 22/01/2014 19:40

all of our neighbours were 'aunties' and 'uncles' I know my mum thought it was weird but she went along with it......

PumpkinPositive · 22/01/2014 19:41

No, I'd say that it's fairly normal. As a child I had hundreds of aunties and uncles and even an inherited granny. Smile

LegoStillSavesMyLife · 22/01/2014 19:41

You'd love me then. All actual aunts and uncles are just referred to by their name. Only non related friends are referred to as Aunty and Uncle.

hoobypickypicky · 22/01/2014 19:42

It's a courtesy term, there's nothing odd about it. :)

Custardo · 22/01/2014 19:42

i can't tell you how many 'aunties' my genuine uncle introduced me to when i was a kid Wink

WaffilyVersatile · 22/01/2014 19:42

My best mate came to my daughters scans, she held my hand when I had sickness at work, she ran for coffees when I had spd, she listened to me drone on about endless baby waffle (she has no kids), she dropped work at a moments notice to be at my side when my blood pressure went haywire and I passed out at home heavily pregnant and then because I had no family nearby she took care of my 5 yr old son while I went to have the baby and then took him shopping for a gift for his baby sister and brought him to visit the day she was born..

..she is Aunty x and she bloody well earned it. I don't think its weird at all even tho they have 3 "real" aunts..

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 22/01/2014 19:42

Im a child of the 70s. Northerer. We all did it. A child calling an adult by their first name was unthinkable! and I dont like it now so auntie / uncle x indicated an adult that was closer to your parents so the formal mr / mrs was used for teachers or strangers or those less close to / frienly with your parents.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 22/01/2014 19:43

As a child I called pretty much all adults Auntie or Uncle. At the time it was seen as a sign of respect for someone you knew (less formal than Mr and Mrs) that was older than you. I think society has changed somewhat and it's no longer expected. I don't expect my own DCs to call anyone by anything other than their given name - except elderly relatives.

Bogeyface · 22/01/2014 19:43

We always had that as kids, I think it goes back to when it was considered rude for a child to refer to an adult by their first name and family friends were too close for Mr or Mrs X. I know that my parents didnt like us referring to adults as anything other than Aunty or Uncle so and so, or Mr or Mrs.

LegoStillSavesMyLife · 22/01/2014 19:44

Oh you wantd to know why..

I guess real aunts and uncles their relationship/specialness to the child is obvious and besides which say "Aunty/uncle so and so" is a mouth full.

But by referring to really close (godparents type) friends as aunt/uncle I guess it is also showing the child that these people are a bit more special than fed blogs down the road.

Lamu · 22/01/2014 19:44

It's a form of showing respect to an adult. I too had lots of uncles and aunts. Although I can't stand being called auntie now because it makes me feel old.

DameFanny · 22/01/2014 19:44

I used it as a code with ds until he was 5 or so - if I called someone uncle or aunty it was someone I would trust him with in an emergency - new friends, people I'd known a long time but didn't particularly trust and general acquaintances were just "name".

Not that I explained that to him, but I was expecting him to spot the difference himself :-)

Lamu · 22/01/2014 19:44

X posts

TallyGrenshall · 22/01/2014 19:44

Our close friends are referred to as 'Aunty X' or 'Uncle D' because they are family to me. DS has an extra Granny who is our old flatmates Mum, she is an amazing woman and she is very dear to us.

Everybody else is called their names

candycoatedwaterdrops · 22/01/2014 19:45

YABU. As kids, my friends and I always called each other's mums Auntie X and we liked it. :)

Bogeyface · 22/01/2014 19:45

Xpost with everyone!

Cinnamoncookie · 22/01/2014 19:45

When I was a kid all my parents' friends were referred to as Auntie and Uncle. I always imagined it came about from the idea that it was rude for children to refer to adults by their first names alone.

bluebell8782 · 22/01/2014 19:46

We did growing up as well.. everyone was Aunty this Uncle that.. even our teachers (I went to a tiny private school in South Africa).. I noticed it was less common here in England when we moved.

BadChat25 · 22/01/2014 19:48

I think it's odd to if I'm honest. I never did it growing up and I don't encourage it with my DD.

miffybun73 · 22/01/2014 19:51

I did it growing up in the 1970s, but I find it really strange and there's no way that I would refer to anyone other than my children's actual Auntie's as Auntie.

I just don't get it.

fluffyraggies · 22/01/2014 19:51

My teens still refer to my best and oldest friends as Auntie X, Y and Z. These women were my friends before i got married and had my babies, so they saw my kids grow up.

I've never liked hearing young children call adults by their first name, and it's sort of stuck from when they were little. They don't call my friends from more recent years Auntie though.

Potol · 22/01/2014 19:51

It is also an Asian thing. We would NEVER refer to an older person by their name especially someone of another generation. If my mother ever heard DS who is 2 calling any of my friends by their names she would faint. Luckily we have v specific terms for family members so my sister is 'Mashi' and her husband is 'Mesho' etc so they are not called Aunty or Uncle but by the vernacular equivalent. For me it would just be a mark of respect.

marssparklesdownonme · 22/01/2014 19:52

Special friends of my parents were always referred to as auntie or uncle. As others have already said, we never called adults by their first names unless it was as auntie x etc. My dc's call their nonrelated godparents auntie and uncle too. Even my friends who have no kids and no intention of having them , like to refer to themselves as Auntie R and Uncle R, to my amazement.

GimmeDaBoobehz · 22/01/2014 19:53

No hatred at all here Lego I think it's sweet they call me aunty S as my sister I speak to regularly has a little boy who is too young at the moment to say it (2 months old) and my other sister I rarely see, same with the children - once or twice a year and they don't refer to me as anything which is a shame.

I suppose it's probably whether you were used to it when growing up or not. I only ever called my aunts and uncles aunt x or uncle y. If my parents had called their best friend aunty/uncle x I'd probably not find it strange at all.

What a wonderful woman Waffily I can definitely see why you came up with this. Just one or two of the people I know whose children call me aunty S I only see a few times a year too, so it's not like we are incredibly close. If I was a best friend from childhood I could kind of see where they'd be coming from iyswim.

Maybe partially a generation thing. I'm only a baby 23, 24 this Saturday so it might not have been as popular when I was a young child. Or maybe it was living rurally with most of our friends at least 50 miles away.

OP posts:
HerrenaHarridan · 22/01/2014 19:54

Yanbu to think its strange.

I do this and I think its perfectly normal Smile

I reserve it for special and trusted friends who I would consider to be a long term positive influence in her life