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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think refering to your friends as aunty/uncle X is a bit strange?

101 replies

GimmeDaBoobehz · 22/01/2014 19:39

I have several friends with young children under the age of 10.

For some reason they all refer to me as 'aunty S' to their children.

I don't mind being referred to as this at all but just thought it a bit weird/strange as they also have biological aunties/uncles so why wouldn't they just call me S?

Am I the only one who finds it a bit bizarre and if you do this, is there any particular reason?

Lighthearted thread, just genuinely curious.

OP posts:

RhinestoneCowgirl · 22/01/2014 21:58

I used to call my mum's close friends Aunty, and buy extension their partners were Uncle. I think it's nice, shows a relationship.

My DC just tend to call my friends by their first names.

notso · 22/01/2014 21:58

I think it is weird but didn't do it as a child so that is probably why. I don't like my actual DNs calling me Aunty Notso either I always say just call me Notso.

ivykaty44 · 22/01/2014 22:00

My mate Ian in thinks its great my DDS couldnt say his name name and uncle, it become unclean :)

Its a term of respect to say auntie or uncle for mature friends of the family

KareKare · 22/01/2014 22:05

It's very 1970s imo, to call friends aunt/uncle.

We never called actual relatives aunt/uncle and our kids never have either, so it sounds odd to me.

PatriciaHolm · 22/01/2014 22:09

I'm not a fan; our children call our friends by their names. The children already have 7 much loved "real" uncles and aunts! I never did it as a kid so I guess that at least partly explains why I find it odd .

traininthedistance · 22/01/2014 22:11

It was routine when I was small (possibly more of a northern thing, too). I don't think I called my parents' friends by their first names until I was at university! And adults who weren't close enough to one's family to be called auntie or uncle were always called Mr X or Mrs X (eg. you'd always refer to your friends' parents as Mr or Mrs, never ever by their first name). In fact I still always called my director of studies Mrs X and my tutors Dr or Mr/Mrs until after I had graduated! We just didn't do first names! I think things have become much more liberal in the last 15 years or so but I do remember it being absolutely unheard of in my childhood for a child to call any adult by their first name alone.

But then I remember lots of things like that that seem to have disappeared (and I'm not very old!) Even at secondary school if any adult entered the room all children had to leap to their feet in silence. It was routine for a child to give up a seat for an adult. My mum didn't let me speak to her if she was having a conversation with another adult ("unless there is a dire emergency, then you may pull at my hand to let me know you need to speak to me urgently") - I would never have dared to interrupt an adult conversation. Or to get down from a table without asking permission, whether I was at home or at someone else's house. Very old-fashioned - I don't think many parents enforce these things now! My mum is a total softie with all her grandchildren, I have no idea what happened!

bodygoingsouth · 22/01/2014 22:13

no it's nice. yabu!

Jinsei · 22/01/2014 22:19

We mix and match in our house. DH is Indian, and it would be unthinkable for dd to call any of our Indian friends by their first names, so they are all aunties and uncles. It would be disrespectful to do otherwise.

Most of our English friends are called by their first names, with just a couple of exceptions. One of my closest friends always referred to herself as auntie when talking to dd, and I was happy to go along with it.

Then we have friends who are neither English or Indian, and we tend to just go along with the cultural norms for whatever country they're from. You'd think dd might find this confusing, but she always seems to know who should be referred to as auntie or uncle and who can be called by their first name!

NigellasDealer · 22/01/2014 22:23

possibly more of a northern thing, too
more of a 1970s thing i think = we were in the London area.
i went to the funeral of one of my 'aunties' last year - more than I would have been for a real one tbh

Moreisnnogedag · 22/01/2014 22:26

Every adult is aunt and uncle to my son. Except when he's met my seniors at work in which case it's Mr so-and-so.

This'd probably drive you crazy but in SA an older adult who you don't know is referred to as auntie/uncle. My parents were probably upset to find out they'd graduated into that category when they went for their last visit - it means they're now proper old!

TamerB · 22/01/2014 22:28

Just tell the child to miss off the Aunty and use your name. I am getting my nieces and nephews to drop it now they are older - I certainly don't want unrelated ones calling me Aunty, or Mrs, I just use my first name.

Jinsei · 22/01/2014 22:28

Yeah, I agree it's more 1970s than northern. I grew up in the south of england with a northern mother. We didn't call my parents friends aunts and uncles, but loads of my friends did. I guess now that generation are parents themselves, it's all coming back!

TamerB · 22/01/2014 22:29

If you insist with the child, and correct them every time, there is nothing the parent can do.

AbbeyBartlet · 22/01/2014 22:31

I grew up in the 70s too and I always had to call parents close friends Auntie and Uncle. I don't like small children calling me by my first name tbh, it always seems a bit rude!

firesidechat · 22/01/2014 22:32

I had non related aunts and uncles who were close friends of my parents. My children didn't though, so maybe it's a dying tradition. I think it's rather nice to recognise the place of older adults in a child's life.

MrsBungle · 22/01/2014 22:35

Our closest friends are aunty and uncle - not every adult. I think it's nice not strange.

flyingspaghettimonster · 22/01/2014 22:41

Where we live in virginia, the kids all refer to women as 'Miss x' or 'mama' and the men are 'mister x' or 'sir' with x being given name. I prefer auntie!

flyingspaghettimonster · 22/01/2014 22:41

Maam not mama

BruthasTortoise · 22/01/2014 22:41

I really don't like it but each to their own and I admit to always having had a very literal mind which my DC seem to have inherited.

squoosh · 22/01/2014 22:45

I think it's a bit strange, think it must be a UK thing.

ChrisMooseMickey · 22/01/2014 22:49

Friends are the family you get to choose for yourself. My baby has a few non related aunty and uncles ;-)

squoosh · 22/01/2014 22:51

It sounds a bit Mike Leigh calling you Mum's friend 'Auntie'.

NinjaBunny · 22/01/2014 22:55

I hate it.

Had friends who referred to me as Auntie Ninja to their child.

Made me very uncomfortable. Can't explain why.

Maybe because a relationship is being forced onto you.

DS's friends call me by my first name, anything else is unthinkable.

TaraLott · 22/01/2014 22:55

I still call some of my parents old friends Auntie and Uncle, they were all called that back then, I think it's quite nice, I think it was common because it gave the adults a sort of friendly 'title' iyswim instead of saying Mr and Mrs SoandSo.

traininthedistance · 22/01/2014 23:18

Is it really 1970s or just pre-1990s-ish? It was definitely the case that the same applied to my mum and dad when they were growing up. They still refer to elderly friends of my grandparents as auntie or uncle X!

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