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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think refering to your friends as aunty/uncle X is a bit strange?

101 replies

GimmeDaBoobehz · 22/01/2014 19:39

I have several friends with young children under the age of 10.

For some reason they all refer to me as 'aunty S' to their children.

I don't mind being referred to as this at all but just thought it a bit weird/strange as they also have biological aunties/uncles so why wouldn't they just call me S?

Am I the only one who finds it a bit bizarre and if you do this, is there any particular reason?

Lighthearted thread, just genuinely curious.

OP posts:
hoppinghare · 22/01/2014 19:57

Yep, I cringe when someone introduces me to their kids as aunty hopping. We all know I'm not their aunty.

GimmeDaBoobehz · 22/01/2014 19:57

I'm very glad then as it seems to me that means I'm special in these peoples lives and in turn, in their children's lives. :)

Maybe I'll start using it myself then. Not sure, will have to see when the time comes. My daughter is only 9 months old so doesn't call anyone anything except mama, dada or baba.

OP posts:
EugenesAxe · 22/01/2014 19:58

In my opinion it's normal but I don't like it and always refer to my friends as their name if talking to the DCs.

My dearest friend (and about the only one I would genuinely consider a sister-supplement) is godmother to my son, so I get to call her 'Godmother X' to my DCs. This gets round the problem of my dislike of false titles but liking for wanting to make her special.

MsAspreyDiamonds · 22/01/2014 20:05

In certain cultures, particularly Middle Eastern / Asian, it is regarded as disrespectful for a younger person to call an older by their first name. There is nothing odd about it, it is just a way of marking out boundaries & clarifying relationships between people.

Athrawes · 22/01/2014 20:07

My mother hated me being encouraged to call non-Aunts, Auntie on the basis that they weren't.
But as a mother to a 3 yearold boy I now encourage him to address older adults as Auntie or Uncle and he has three adopted Grandparents of the age that my parents would be. It is a respect thing and common to many many cultures. A bit akin to American kids calling a respected older man Sir. I like it but don't mind at all if other kids don't call me Auntie.

LastOneDancing · 22/01/2014 20:10

We're Aunty & Uncle to one particular set of close friend's children - it means a lot as we're both only children and will never get to be 'real' ones Sad
In return their Mum will be our PFBs fake aunty!

But I have another close friend who has such a complicated network of half, step and real siblings etc that she didn't want to make it more complicated by adding more aunties into the mix.

Each to their own.

harticus · 22/01/2014 20:12

Bizarre? Nah.
It took me years to work out who my real aunties and uncles were and who were "just" neighbours and friends of the family.
But it really wasn't an issue - they were all great people.
It is commonplace where I come from and amongst my friends.

BackforGood · 22/01/2014 20:13

Growing up, it would have been unheard of to call an adult by their first name. People were either Mrs/Mrs/Mis So and So or Aunty/Uncle X. People are just carrying on that tradition.
I'm happy for dc's friends to call me by my first name, but I have 'friends of the family' type friends that call me 'Aunty Back'

CecilyP · 22/01/2014 20:19

It's not bizarre, just old-fashioned. Everybody did it when I was a child whereas DS, now grown up himself, just called our friend's by their first names. The only people he called Aunty and Uncle were actually DH's and my aunts and uncles.

Freyathecatt · 22/01/2014 20:28

It's a cultural thing for me. We are expected to call anyone (reasonably) older than ourselves Aunty/Uncle as an honorrific. It's a term of respect.

elliejjtiny · 22/01/2014 20:30

I used to call some of my mum and dad's close friends aunty or uncle x and my mum's best friend's mum was "nan nan". However my DC don't do this. All my friends are called by their name except for one. Her DS2 has the same name as mine so my DC's call her "the other DS2's mum" and her DC's call me that as well.

Onesleeptillwembley · 22/01/2014 20:35

No, while I'm aware it happened we never did it. I grew up just in the late 60's 70's. And I wouldn't have encouraged my children to, it seems odd to me, not bad odd, just odd. We don't even use the terms within the family now, either.

NearTheWindmill · 22/01/2014 20:37

I'm an only child of two only children. DH's sisters live abroad. The DC's godparents and our best friends are called auntie and uncle. Not their spouses though. It denotes their specialness to us. Not sure it would happen (and didn't for me) if we had more family though. I always wanted more family :(

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 22/01/2014 20:41

We were brought up (in the 70s) not to do it. All my parents friends were and still are first names to me. I don't encourage my DCs to do it to be honest, but I really can see that it has a place in between Mrs and firstname, that is definitely a slightly awkward thing. I cringe if anyone calls me Aunty, even my real nieces.

Iwannalaylikethisforever · 22/01/2014 20:42

I'm going against the majority but I think I don't like it.
I have a sister who tells her children to call me by my first name (fine, no problem, it's my name)
But her special friends she bestows auntie or uncle
It's alittle grating.

Pipbin · 22/01/2014 20:45

There is a woman I call Auntie x who is my DH's mum's best friend. So he grew up calling her Auntie.

Also, both my grandmothers died when I was a baby and my grandfathers remarried. I called my step grandmothers Auntie.

wonderingsoul · 22/01/2014 20:54

aunty is only kept fopr really close friends.. but the children dont use aunty much when talking to us/them..

for me, it shows that they are special and are like family and can be trusted.

MrsDeVere · 22/01/2014 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MidniteScribbler · 22/01/2014 21:01

My son calls his godparents Auntie Xxxx and Uncle Xxxx. Well actually they're 'Aurie Woop' and 'Unc Weeg" right now, but close enough. It was their choice. I don't mind because he has no grandparents or biological aunts and uncles, so it's nice that they think of themselves in that role.

I've never actually called my aunt and uncle by anything by their first names however.

Horsemad · 22/01/2014 21:42

When I was 16, I was working as a waitress (not in a cocktail bar!!) with a family friend who I'd always known as Aunty P. She was horrified when I called out to her as Aunty P when I needed to ask something!! Said it made her feel old - I found it very difficult to just call her 'P'.

My own DC call my friends by their names.

BIL has signed his last 3yrs Xmas cards to my DC with a different 'Aunty' each year! Hmm

MrsKranky · 22/01/2014 21:45

My oldest friends DC call me Ayay. It is a aunty any my first name sort of all run together, it was the only way they could say it when they were tiny, and it stuck!

My DP's two youngest nephews call me aunty, they are 5 & 6 but the two eldest (10 & 18) just call me by my first name, as I think they're too old. Also I've been with DP nearly four years, so they haven't really grown up with me being around.

stayanotherday · 22/01/2014 21:46

I love it. I'm called auntie by my friends son.

MrsCakesPremonition · 22/01/2014 21:48

When I grew up adults were either Mr or Mrs Surname (strangers, authority figures, people we didn't regularly socialise with) or Aunty or Uncle Firstname (family friends or parents of friends).

I quite like it in theory - but in practice I like children to call me by my firstname.

PleaseJustLeaveYourBrotherAlon · 22/01/2014 21:49

I do this, I think it's nice. I don't really like young chldren calling adults by their first name on it's own.. but Mr/Ms would be a bit too formal for close family and friends.

LittleBabyPigsus · 22/01/2014 21:54

Waffily that's lovely - me and my best friend have a similar relationship, although she has no DC yet. I am already auntie to her pets though Blush

OP I am 24 and from the Midlands and it wasn't common for me growing up but best friend is the same age and Northern and it was quite normal for her - so maybe regional more than generational.

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