I'm struggling to know how to deal with a family situation and would like some opinions. So as not to mislead, I'm not going to do a reverse AIBU sneakily, but will write out the issue from the other perspective and would really appreciate feedback as if replying to them.
My daughter is 6yo and very badly behaved. I suffer with depression and anxiety, I don't sleep and have been signed off work for over a year. My house is tiny and my landlord won't do any repairs so it's falling apart. My wife works and we both struggle to keep the place clean and tidy. Recently I've been asking my parents for help with my daughter's behaviour a lot - she spits, punches and bites when she doesn't get her own way, I've tried taking things away as punishment, I've tried smacking her but nothing works. I usually call my parents for help 2/3 times a week when DD won't go to bed, assaults my wife and winds me up to the point I end up losing my temper and screaming at her.
After a particularly bad night last night I called my mum as DD wouldn't go to bed, she nipped, punched and bit my wife and spat in my face. No one else sees her behave like this, she's sweetness and fucking light with everyone else. I admit I was shouting a lot, but my mum threatened to call the police if I didn't stop. She doesn't know what a life I've got with DD, I cry with the worry of the affect her behaviour is having on my wife, who's lost 5 stones in the last 6 months. My mum and sister have told me I have to contact the health visitor or GP to ask for help with what they call our 'family situation' but why can't they see it's DD's fault, instead of blaming me and my wife? I feel like just fucking off somewhere and leaving them all to it. The neighbours were banging on the wall last night, they can fuck off too.