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AIBU?

AIBU to feel hurt by my friends?

138 replies

Crazeeladee · 21/01/2014 18:59

I posted this in chat too, but haven't had a response. I know I'm going to sound very childish in this post, but need some advice on how change how I feel about a situation. I became friends with friend A when we were both pregnant, we got on very well and met friend b at baby groups, we used to meet up for walks and lunches when our dc's were babies. I met friend c at another group, she was struggling to cope with her baby and I invited her to some of our lunches, she became a firm friend of us all. We had a few evenings together as families, all got on well. I've recently found out that they have been meeting up all together without me, and are now all going on holiday together. I feel very hurt, I have mentioned it friend c, who replied that some friendships just work, I know this is true, but just can't stop feeling really hurt, and wondering what I've done. We still see each other during the week sometimes when the dc's are at school, it's meeting up as families that I don't get the invites to. I feel really hurt and upset,AIBU?

OP posts:

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emsyj · 21/01/2014 21:58

I wouldn't be able to help myself from replying to that text from a - probably something sarcastic and not very clever, but as far as I can see, they're not nice and you should cut them all out so it wouldn't do any harm to try and get some answers.

I've known a few arseholes in my time, and I can tell you from experience OP that when one crappy friend exits your life, within a year a better one comes along to fill their place.

Leave the 6 of them to their horribleness - it's only a matter of time before they all start turning on each other, then it will get really messy - and you'll be off sipping wine with nice people and won't be involved at all - hurrah!

sallysoubriquet · 21/01/2014 22:03

Bloody well said Sparkletoffee.

Crazee some people are fucking bitches just because they can be and it's not against the law and there will always be some snivelling little hangers on to empower them. Ignore ignore ignore, other than to thank your lucky stars you no longer have to be part of it.

Ftr there is of course truth in the fact that some people gel better than others...but this happens naturally, organically and mutually, not with one person orchestrating it and another feeling really hurt. PLEASE don't give them the satisfaction of knowing you are upset...which is why I think Toffee's suggestion is bang on.

Crazeeladee · 21/01/2014 22:05

Another text from c, saying she feels like she's back in high school.

OP posts:

Crazeeladee · 21/01/2014 22:08

Emsyj - you are right, dd2 has just started school and have got a good group of friends from there that meet up for coffees, meals out etc.

OP posts:

sallysoubriquet · 21/01/2014 22:09

Another text from c, saying she feels like she's back in high school.

Yes I bet she does...another classic Wendy ploy, projecting her own atrocious behaviour on to you.

You sound too nice to say it so I will say it safely for you here

Friend C you are a fucking cunting bitch: just go away and stay away.

Well I feel better now if you don't

JoinYourPlayfellows · 21/01/2014 22:09

C is a total bitch, just block her number and have nothing more to do with her.

CiderBomb · 21/01/2014 22:10

Quite honestly C sounds like a right shit stirrer. If she feels like she's back in high school then that is her doing.

I'd not let a text like that go unanswered, though I'd probably tell her to fuck off, grow up and then cut my losses.

You live and learn.

SparkleToffee · 21/01/2014 22:12

Tell C your sorry she must have misinterpreted what you meant ...... No drama, no need to feel like she is back in high school ( they are already bitching about it Together) please fo not give these bitchy drama llamas any more fuel. Who the fuck actually texts something like that yo someone unless they are in the business of storing it up!!!! What a total bitch.

Text her back something very non specific snd then phone in silent ! I would just say something g like. Hi C, no drama here , your right things evolve. See you soon. OP

SparkleToffee · 21/01/2014 22:13

God I was so cross on your behalf my spelling was even worse than normal ! Apologies

Heydiddledumdum · 21/01/2014 22:14

Ha! Maybe they have discovered swinging and know you and your dh wouldn't stand for it so have to make up crap excuses for cutting you out. .

Sorry to be flippant, I also have been screwed over by a Wendy, and boy did it hurt. Get rid. Be dignified, and don't involve yourself any further. Don't go chasing for answers. You may never find out what happened but give these bitches plenty of stuff to gossip about if you talk to them further.

to you op, hope you make some nicer friends soon!

CiderBomb · 21/01/2014 22:14

Oh and by the way if this makes you feel any better, groups of three rarely work in my experience so I can't see this little clique lasting long anyway. Won't be long before another one gets "pushed out" .

emsyj · 21/01/2014 22:15

I would be so tempted to reply to c, "Aw don't worry, I did think maybe you were having an off day when you said all that weird 'evolving' stuff to me - not taken personally! xx"

Mintyy · 21/01/2014 22:17

Well I'd cut my losses and text them both back something like "It's nice that your friendship has evolved such that you've got each other for company now ... you both seem to be the same type of people with a rather unique take on what constitutes friendship . Good luck to you."

They sound TRULY vile. Yuck.

ballstoit · 21/01/2014 22:18

Just text back, 'Great, glad you agree, you are behaving like a spoilt teen princess '

Crazeeladee · 21/01/2014 22:18

Sparkletoffee I knew what you meant even with the spelling
sally yes I do feel better (and thanks for all the cake too!)
You've all cheered me up loads, no longer sitting crying (like a right saddo!)

OP posts:

CiderBomb · 21/01/2014 22:18

I love that Mintyyyy.

QOD · 21/01/2014 22:20

Ah man that's so sucky :(

Crazeeladee · 21/01/2014 22:20

ha, not even thought of siwinging! That makes it easier to deal with actually! I'll keep thinking of that!

OP posts:

SparkleToffee · 21/01/2014 22:23

Love it emsyj..... Basically anything flippant so they can't keep saying next time they meet, that you are needy / dramatic / etc.

Please view this as a lucky escape..... Imagine being on holiday with them.... Sends a shiver down my spine and I don't even know them

cardamomginger · 21/01/2014 22:23

Wendy strikes again.

So sorry OP. It's shitty. It's her, not you. That is just what a Wendy is like.

CassCade · 21/01/2014 22:26

This happened to me!! When DD first started at school, and I formed a friendship with three other mums in the class. We were four friends but used to go out with partners as couples for meals, etc. Then the three friends told me one day that they were all going on holiday together; partners, kids and all, and we (DP and I) weren't even asked. I was really quite hurt - for them to arrange it and not even ask us! Were we that bad?! But after that, I just avoided getting together with them at all, and made excuses not to go out for meals. Bit wet that I never confronted them but my life is much happier without those idiots! You will make new friends at school, I have got some great school mum friends now who I haven't known very long at all, and already I can see they are much more fun to be with and are genuine people. I'd avoid having much to do with your three - if you don't like confrontations, then just be unable to meet at the suggested time. Are your DC at school or pre-school? Pick out other people instead to get to know them better and move forwards! Good luck!

Wishfulmakeupping · 21/01/2014 22:28

Please send Mintyy response word for word tis perfect

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newyearhere · 21/01/2014 22:31

Yes, she should justify sidelining you from a friendship group. Why should you have to just take it? She should be sorry that she's pushed in and taken over. You have nothing to apologise for OP. I hope you find some better friends as you deserve.

Crazeeladee · 21/01/2014 22:31

Thanks all, casscade, they mine are yr 6 and reception, all of theirs are reception. All at different schools though in different areas.

OP posts:

sallysoubriquet · 21/01/2014 22:31

Bit wet that I never confronted them

No no no no no no and again no Cass.

Of course you would have been justified in confronting them, but much better that you didn't, as others have said, it only fuels their bitchiness and/or makes them feel justified because you are 'needy'.

I think it's much better that Crazee goes down the flippant, breezy or just plain avoiding route, as you did. Wind out of sails much?

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