to think childminders should play with their mindees?

[smuggler]

My dd went to a childmindwe briefly a few years ago when she was three years old. She used to come home telling me she'd watched tv all day. I approached the cm about this who said that wasn't true. Dds behaviour alternated between being hyperactive and lethargic which fitted in better with dds version of her day and I switched to a nursery where dd was much happier.

I was at toddler group with my other dd this morning and saw the cm there. She works with her sister and they sat chatting for the entire three hours, only stopping to put the baby's dummy back in if he made a noise. When they were leaving I saw that they had 8 children with them! All of whom had been ignored throughout the group despite a couple having been hitting others and one that cried in the corner for most of it. A mum came in to drop a little girl off and cm made a big fuss of her in front of mum. Within thirty seconds of her leaving the little girl was plonked down crying and cm returned to her conversation, vaguely telling her to go and play every five mins or so.

Aibu to think cm's should play with their mindees and to be cross at this shit treatment of little children whose parents are paying for 'mother-like loving care' and being told what wonderful days they've had?

It is not very nice to think that you really don't know what is happening with your lo all day (especially before they can talk) - this thread certainly feeds on that fear!
I am surprised that a cm is saying she does her housework while working - I can see all cleaning relating to the dcs being there (floors, surfaces) and shopping can be the only outing available on a wet day. But not sure why your mindees are paying for you to do your laundry.

Bodygoingsouth, I was actually wondering if this had anything to do with the report on Childminder Agencies yesterday, but maybe I'm cynical

My childminder is amazing and imaginative, I gojng her at a playgroup, had to have a temporary one briefly who was also ace. I know lots of sahms and part time wohms who would pass on any concerns, it is a very visible occupation. One friend took me aside to say that she saw her shopping, she had actually asked permission but I assumed she did things like that with them anyway. She must to housework as the house is immaculate.

I was at a toddler group when my DD was tiny and two CMs (one a spirited wee girl's current minder and one her previous minder) spent the session slagging her off. A two-year-old. It made me really sad to think that this girl's mum unwittingly left her child with a succession of minders who really didn't like her.

OTOH, I know plenty of lovely, attentive CMs.

Brandnewiggi

You object to doing laundry? It's a 10 minute job if that to hang it out, whilst the children occupy themselves (with carefully planned and thought out activities I might add).

It is a home from home environment. I put a load in and hang it out to dry, I don't then get it in iron it fold it and put it away whilst they are here you know.

I hate this attitude I pay you so you must do X,Y & Z attitude which always comes up on these CM bashing threads.

Yes quickly chucking a bit of washing in the tumble dryer is probably the only non-childminding related housework I ever do when I'm working. Takes all of 2 or 3 minutes and in fact the kids all want to help me anyway!

My DD thinks it's amazing my cm hangs out washing and let's her help. She's always asking me to put it on the line rather than the dryer!!

There's good cms and bad ones. I'm lucky mine is amazing but then I wouldn't dream of sending her to the local nursery. Doesn't mean every nursery is terrible!

I think if you can fit it in without any detriment to the care provided to the minders, then that's fine. But it's not the same as being at home with your own dcs, is it? I would expect most chores (again, not relating to the children's needs/mess) to happen in the evening, as other employed people have to do. Obviously as you can't get the same breaks that other jobs offer, that needs to be factored in.

The evening is when we do paperwork, planning, accounts, training and childminding meetings. Some of us do home visits and meet up with parents to go through contracts.

It always makes me smile when people insist that childminders shouldn't be doing housework while the children are there. You know, on the childcare threads, the question nanny and au pair employers often ask is how much housework can be expected out of them!

Surely it is the same as being at home with your DCs? When I'm at home with my DCs, i certainly do laundry chores - and i would never object to a CM doing them too.

Expect what you want love!

Children seeing everyday chores being done is not detrimental.

I do my big sort out and clean on a Friday when I have 6 blissful school hours to myself. it was spent shopping and in Wetherspoons this week though

But in the week I do breakfast Pots/ lunch/ tea pots unload dishwasher, put washer on, Hoover, sweep, mop floors, clean surfaces, dust/ polish, wipe sinks down As required.

Part of my job is ensuring my house is tidy, clean and hazard free. If I didn't do house keeping on a daily basis in minding hours no one would want to leave their children here. They'd be starting CM bashing threads about what a slattern I was and how they don't want to leave their kids with a tramp like me.

And I'm damned if I'm doing it all on an evening. After all the 6 kids extra a day is why my house is so freaking messy/ dirty in the first place. I had no idea how much more mess there would be! And you cannot compare it to a family's chores who are out the house 8-6.

Think the clue is in the title - they are there to "mind" , Personally, I can't get over the fact that parents leave someone with a childminder without checking them out. There are 2 local ones I wouldn't use because they are disinterested in the children but they do "mind" their charges.

Just a tip - go & do spot visits when you are choosing a childminder, pick your child up early one day.

My parents have all checked me out. I'm mainly recommended by their family/ friends and they do check up on me.

I think some people are quite naive about the level of care their children receive in nurseries especially private ones, nursery nurses do a lot of housekeeping and admin whilst children are there. When else would it get done? And general house keeping needs doing as a matter of safety.

"love"?! I hope you are not so patronising to the parents of the children you mind!

I think it is disingenuous to suggest that all housework is related to the mindees. It is surely the case that some of the house is not used for work purposes anyway. So, cleaning the kitchen after lunch - absolutely necessary for the job. Cleaning the upstairs bathroom and ironing your children's school uniforms - I think would be unfair. And I doubt many cms would dream of doing those things, but as in any job, you get those who take the piss (not thinking of any colleagues here oh no).

I doubt very much that any cm irons whilst cm' ing. Have you ever looked after 3 under 3 year olds all day? Ironing is not a task to be attempted under those circumstances.
Hanging a few items in wardrobes whilst little ones are engaged in playing is fine though and I struggle to understand anyone who would object.
A lot of cm time is pent in active participation and adult led activities, a lot is child led and independent play whilst the cm observes and !maybe makes notes for assessments and the rest of the time is independent play where no adult input is needed or wanted. Rather than stare at a wall I prefer to quickly get a couple of things done.

My child goes to a wonderful childminder, she takes hermindees out, reads, sings and plays. Its like one big happy family.

You should report the bad cm though, that's not on, poor children.

Unfortnately, there are more of these than there are good ones.
Anybody can be a child minder if they tick all the boxes, literally.
There were several documentaries about nurseries a few years ago, the Panorama under cover report, it was awful what happened in some of them.
I know what you mean about making a fuss whilst mum is there I used to see this all the time when I volunteered in nurseries.
I think you have to go with your gut feeling and trust them to do a good job, if you have no choice.

There are more of these than there are good ones.
Can I ask what you are basing this on? Personal experience? Observations of a few thousand cms? Ofsted inspection reports? Or maybe just your I'll informed opinion?

YANBU I met a CM at a mutual friends and was thinking of leaving dd with her while I did done training .

We met up at a play group while she had an 18 month in her care. She left him in a shitty nappy till every one smelt there own dc and said ' nope, not mine it's got to be yours' she then begrudgingly took him to change him.

Then whilst sat on the mat her two year and half year old came over and bashed the little one over the head with a train while he was sat playing nicely. He obviously started crying and CM just said " did you have to do it on his head?" [ shock] she picked the little one up and rubbed his head then. her two year old just wandered off.....

Needless to say it has really put me of using CM or nursery

Oh I do love a good childminder bashing thread!

I don't do housework
I rarely go to toddler groups ( and when I do I am more often on the floor with my little ones)
I don't earn mega bucks ( last tax assessment showed £10000 for a 45 hour week)

I have seen great minders and terrible minders. I have seen ace nursing and god awful nursing. I have experience of fab teachers and totally useless teachers.

Good and bad in every profession....

mishmash
I don't get it?
Her son hurt the minded so she rubbed him better? And your problem with that is?
And she didn't immediately know her minded had poor but when she realised she changed his nappy? I' m confused. Should she not have changed him? Should she invest in nasal training?

Brandnew of course not.

morethan
Do you know we are inspected before registration, after registration within six months then inspected with the same regularity as nurseries and schools.
Its not just box ticking that anyone can do.
You fail the pre registration inspection you cannot be a childminders.
Are you in a different country that doesn't have the same rigorous inspection assessment regime as England?

And I'm not suggesting all the bloody housework is related to mindees. But it needs doing so as not to affect their care. And it's easier to keep on top of it through the day surely?
I only do upstairs if they are asleep.

mog I'm frazzled and didn't explain it well...

He was sat on her knee so she must have know it was him. I could smell it from the other side .

When he son bashed him on the head , there was no reprimand , no ' that's a naughty thing to do,it hurts' just a dead pan ' did you have to do it on the head' . Would it have been ok bashing him on his arm,chest , leg?

Yep she did rub his head.

Did my post merit an arsy response ?